My brother speaks to my mother on Skype:
Son, what are you doing?
I play
My son should be mature and responsible. What are you doing?
I play
My son should be adult and responsible. What are you doing?
I watched naked girls on the internet.
My son should be mature and responsible. What are you doing?
I develop a business plan.
The young man.
for his bordell.
Fuck it.

I am pleased to comment on the article on the applesider:
Is Russian your native language? I'm not attached to small grammar and punctuation errors, I'm about the unbreakable stylistic shit that reigns in your "text."
Please never again make such ridicule about the Russian language. He is good and has done nothing bad to you.

Twilight-4, the very beginning of the film: Jacob runs out of the house, in anger throws out some paper and quickly sinkes into the forest. SITIM RJOM: the agenda from the military commission received!

Who ate the hurma? Kissing the hurm?! to
and cat.
Everyone is crazy in this house.

<angor> I look at the advertising board of our.. hang lists of groups with an average score per session. There he has a score of 10.00 and is assigned with the pen "chiter"

At the CPC in the universe stopped the guard (woman), for and demanded a student, I in a sudden passage through the turniket, then the dialogue:
She: I will remember you!
I: So I’ve been studying for four years, it’s time to remember.
She: I am not going to remember you!
The female logic.

My immediate boss is the devil. He goes in a hundred times a day, rushes, gives contradictory instructions. A lot of people know this, probably. And then suddenly the chief of the rank came up, and arranged an unplanned inspection. Thro the day, our mini-boss ran there—here, as undermined, in the evening went to the smoking room to rest, and began to complain to us about how he was burdened. When he came out, the voice of our most quiet colleague was heard: Don’t shake, don’t be drunk!

From the answers:
Do you have bomb shelters in your city? Were they all? Pictures are welcome 😉
by Mikhail SPQR:
The American spies were completely shaken.

You may have been right, I’m really not cooking.
Yesterday I poured the cat’s soup, so he smelled it and started buriing it... (((

XXX: modern generation, mill
XXX: small today released in a poem: "My sad companion, swinging the wing, chewing a bloody pizza under the window"

My wife goes for an interview. I reassure...

I: Don’t worry, everything will be okay. You know people, you know work.
Q: Will they take it? O_O

Dear Dear Alcohol! We had a contract with you: you promised to make me smarter, more funny, more sympathetic and to teach me to dance. I watched a birthday video...I have a few unpleasant questions to you...

C "Responses.mail.ru"
The question:
5,175 multiplied by 16 whole 23 hundred
The answer:
Ban in the calculator?? to

In the school I had a neighbor on the party with the name Booth... We were observed by almost all the teachers equally "Vorobyeva and Booth!". With no restraint, we sometimes shouted "Where?"... Everybody laughed...

Golda Meir, former Prime Minister of Israel
Does Israel have nuclear weapons?
No, we do not have him. If necessary, we use

Whoever learns at 4 and 5 will go to heaven. Whoever learns on 2 and 3, goes to hell!
Can’t you finish school alive?! to

How many compressions can Chuck Norris do?
and all.

British BAE Systems plans to start production of lead-free bullets, as the lead bullets are harmful to the environment and pose a risk to human health.

Damn, British scientists bitten British manufacturers.

Yyy: He said that with me at least to the end of the world
WOW: I say - so come to Russia then)
Wow, he just immediately caught up that Russia is cold and sunny little))))
All of them are so, they beat their heels in the chest, and then in the bushes))))))
Honey... the foreigners.
At the end of the world of the Maldives.
We are Urals.

Comments on a mouse on an online store:

XHH: To be fair, it’s worth noting that the v-track technology works just fine. I have to work in bed, but I do not experience any inconvenience because of this.
On the box it was written that the mouse works even on the fur surface and it really is. I tested on a home long-haired cat - the result just struck me. Oh, if she didn’t roll, that would be a carpet!

WOW: I bought this mouse today, tested on my cat, it really works. I recommend this model to all cat owners.

zzz: I wanted to buy a carpet, but after your murderous comment)) I will buy a cat!