bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №158984
 18.11.2022
If someone tells you that you are a terrible cowboy, but will give you 10,000 rubles for it...

Will you take the money?

Even more would! I am scary, not stupid.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №158983
 18.11.2022
The case was yesterday. In a Turkish hotel, I wake up in the evening and realize that the dinner will soon be over. I quickly get up and go to the dining room asleep. The theme of the dinner was fish and seafood. He gathered shrimp, midi, cancer, calmar. I walk past a pot with fish of different species. Looks like a squeezed. I picked half a red fish. I sit down at the table and eat all this, I get to fish. It seemed to me not very delicious and not salty at all. Well, it was good that there was beer, as it ate, uncomfortable to leave out. I go back, passing by the pot, I realize that other people are choosing a fish and bringing the cook to eat it.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №158982
 18.11.2022
I rented a car in Cyprus. Rental is cheap, 300 euros per month, but a guarantee of 1000. No deposit rental with insurance 900.Ok, I drive carefully, took without insurance. A few days later, I noticed that the bumper was barely worth it. Go look, and there are a couple of cartridges missing, and I just saw them in the kitchen in the box. I’m sorry, I picked up, I’m driving. In a month I return the car, handed over, I make the return at the office. A man runs from the parking lot: "You hit the car, you have a buffer there, don't return the pledge yet." “Well,” I said, “let’s go and see what’s going on there.” He comes for the Turk-Tyrk bumper. There is nothing talking there. Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you (I wanted to say, but didn’t say). He, the type, the machine was wrong. The Peders. Since then, when renting videos, I have taken even the slightest scratches in the act.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №158981
 18.11.2022
If a person assures with warmth that he speaks the pure truth, then this truth is surely deceived.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №158980
 18.11.2022
A friend told me this story:
During a long trip to Germany, he enrolled in a fitness club.
One day after training went to the sauna, dressed up until nothing, sitting enjoying. And here comes an absolutely naked woman, (well don’t run! Then a naked man, and then another woman. The friend accepted the norm, but it takes time to accept this ordinary Russian man from the depths.
The next day he turned the pedals, licking afterwards, when the administrator approached him and said in a quiet voice:
Can you change your shirt?
What is it?
- You have too short sleeves, it looks very challenging!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №158979
 18.11.2022
The rabbi gathered his Jews and told them.
There are two news, good and bad. Which to start?
Obviously with good.
I found a million dollars to build a synagogue.
So what bad?
They are still in your pockets.

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