bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №13113
 18.12.2008
We accept an audit check, prepare a table for this case. The last settings are given: "Comrades, in short, the arrangement is this: look at the caviar contemptuously, and do not lick when you see the samga and the forel. Let the Germans think we are okay!"

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №13112
 18.12.2008
I will buy explosives, armoured vest.I will buy a pass to the Verkhovna Rada, the Cabinet of Ministers, the Secretariat of the President.
P.S Buy a student

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №13111
 18.12.2008
She: So fun with you, Stas!)) I never know what you will say next.
I: Sublimation in Guadeloupe!! to
It is ? ?

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №13110
 18.12.2008
Go to the store. Buy something for tea. Lolik, my colleague, asked: "a couple of packages of sweets "Moskvachka" and these, like his...." and hanging. I say, “What, Leha, the sample is up, the key in the hash table is lost, you can’t find the match. The name and image?" And here the saleswoman says: "And let us then pick over...". We are both in stall. I: "A, AB, AB..." Lohha, looking at me: "MA...rmelad!"

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №13109
 18.12.2008
>>That is why Victor Andreevich is MAN. He doesn’t talk with a dumb smile about his submarine "she drowned". And when the time comes to leave, he will leave, not plant the bear marionette. Because we, unlike you, do not applaud puppet shows. Not children, tea.<<

A baby and a doll can’t applaud their own show. Continue to sow the shit between the Slavs and tick the finger as we are so different. You are perfectly suited to the role of the girl from the latest movie Carrier 3 - "We are not such!!! We are others!!and "
Continue to behave and shake off the scratch at the western gates, continue to scream that the Russians are so crazy and the president has their shit - you, as the most patriotic, will be handed over to the M16 and sent to the East, to kill these most hated Russians. And you will lie crushed by tanks, like the smartest, and the Pindos soldiers will march on you, and they will thank you very much for being such a fool.

Sorry it hurt. They deceived minors with patriotic rats brains.

The cat, the shredder, the admin, the huiase - only to pass and not get stuck in the flute.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №13108
 18.12.2008
Xxx: Played fuck with a girl in the stalker!! to
YYY :?
Do you know what we call the months now?
I guess XD
XXX is exploding!! to

[ + 90 - ] Comment quote №13107
 18.12.2008
My cat is too persistent. If he goes to the toilet, then buried until they are removed or until the shoe comes in. In the middle of the night, his stubborn scratches with his nails on the floor generally bring everyone in the house.
The night. Everyone is sleeping. Here, in the hallway, the cat begins to bury a cup, hoping, apparently, that he will still succeed sooner or later. I am lazy to get up and I scream to my daughter:
Look what the cat is digging!
In response an angry voice:
He is digging his own grave!

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №13106
 18.12.2008
I will never forget how I met my wife. I went through the doctor’s office and went to the doctor’s office. A cute girl sends me to the corner and the following dialogue occurs:
It is: 54
I am: 54
It is: 72
I am: 72
It is: 92
I am: 92
She calls...

[ + 61 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №13105
 18.12.2008
...Ship
Vehicles will move organized column to the place of the event at 14-00 from the car market.

Do not remain indifferent, come and ask your question to the authority! Support yourself and us!
– – – – –
Let us build you! Drivers are crazy! This is when you learn to elementally skip pedestrians, fucking, even if moms with wheelchairs, who can not cross the road for 20 minutes, because every bit behind the wheel looks and thinks "a, foolish, still stands - I will pass". And you will not park on the sidewalks at least so that you can walk with the same wheelchair, then get out. At the moment, 90% of you are pirates, who are not deprived of cars and rights, they must be killed in order not to reproduce.
On the roads, you, the frogs, only think of yourself and joke about others. And when the tail comes to you - immediately cry, run, ask for help. Fuck you in the ass!

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №13104
 18.12.2008
A man comes out of the object. Then he sat down and said, “Look what I bought?” gets the box - license screw)))))))) fuck, I'm in tears)))) phone grabbed, started to photograph it with the box)))) he smiled, says, not all))) serial is not suitable))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №13103
 18.12.2008
Yesterday the scene was watched - our secretary for fifteen minutes tried to explain to a whispering aunt that the boss is busy with his meeting and he can't accept her, until the aunt it didn't get stupid, in the end the aunt gives out "you know who I am?"?", the secretary humbly lowering the eyes "Lordess of the sea?!" O_o

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №13102
 18.12.2008
Happiness is when you have everything you want and you still have it.

of freedom. c) Sj

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №13101
 18.12.2008
Until now, some cases in history, mistakes, as a result of

Everything went in a different direction...The story is not funny, but

and instructive.



In the middle of the 19th century, difficult times came for Sevastopol. Not much of what

The government did not provide any support to the military.

Russia’s point in Crimea, without delivering food or ammunition

Not even the chancellor’s instrument, but also his radiant coward, the prince.

Menchikov, despite the objections of the concerned Kornilov, withdrew from the

There are almost all ground troops. Sevastopol remains arbitrary.

destiny - with the unprotected Northern side and barely beginning to settle

The South. The remaining in Sevastopol considered themselves mortals, every hour.

receiving reports of an offensive from Eupatoria of a huge Allied

The Army. Kornilov and his associates, left to protect the North, have already

Say goodbye to friends, knowing that death is inevitable.

And suddenly an army of allies contrary to all the laws of logic and military

art, friendlyly marched past the condemned reduts and accepted

building fortifications for the prolonged siege of the South. Saving Sevastopol

Is it a terrible time? What allowed the almost unprotected, abandoned

the army and the king of the city, in a few weeks to become unattainable

Fortification, under the walls of which thousands of enemies put their heads in a year?

Why did the enemies stumble and not take the city to the east?

And the fact is that the spies of the Allies did not exaggerate in moderation and

Copy the best, latest maps for the commander.

fortifications of Sevastopol, on which there was a powerful, equipped with the best

Northern Fortification! In reality, thanks to the

bureaucrats and treasury thieves, there was nothing in this place until now except

The old reds...

From the inevitable death of Sevastopol, he was saved.

the enemy, while our defenders were almost left to arbitrary

The destiny...

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №13100
 18.12.2008
You are from the 1990s if:

- you are unable to understand the meaning of the phrase: "a three-litre beer bank broke"

There were times when apartments were given for free.

It is normal to always carry a passport.

You know the word "comp", but you don’t know the abbreviation "EVM"

You don’t understand how people could once live without code locks.

Entrance doors and no bars on the first floor windows

You believe in astrological horoscopes. However, they are firmly convinced that

Studying physics and astronomy will not be necessary in your life.

You do not know what it means to "procompose a ticket"

- you find nothing unnatural in the phrases "pay for

Training " and "payment for medical services"

- under the words "send a letter" you mean - "send an e-mail"

- the surname "Sobchak" is associated with you exclusively with the leading "House-2";

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №13099
 18.12.2008
You’ll be a snowmen because you’re the only one in the office with a beard.

[ + 59 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №13098
 18.12.2008
XX: And in general, Bush’s non-figured reaction, technically, turned away from the shoe...
WOW: Yes, it’s shit, I think Putin would have stopped the shoe in the air with a glance =D

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