I work in Sheremetyevo. Today, there was such a rotting:) what a fucking late landing, he is being sought, and the speaker pronounces the following text: "passenger cannabis! The Cannabis Passenger! You are asked to appear urgently for the landing on the flight in AMSTERDAM, exit number.." I heard, I bowed in half:) to the homeland flew:)))

Everything is not that and everything is not so when your girlfriend...

Lewkee
The boy picked up a sick eggs in the autumn, cared for him all winter, fed milk, fed apples.
It was spring and all the columns fell, and instead of them the wings grew and he flew out the window. A boy stands, looks at him and says:
It’s not a shit, it’s a shit. :D
Hikuro
I hope not from personal experience.
Lewkee
No to. I only had a pigeon.
Hikuro
In the autumn, he wrapped up and ran away.

How is it "stranger among his"?
Well, let’s say you were born with the name Moskalenko.

Okay, let me give you a recent setup:
The wife in the alarm on the phone a song from "Fort Bayard". And there is such a function - repeat in 10 (or 9) minutes.
The morning. I wait for the teaspoon. My dear, sorry, in the toilet. Suddenly from there begins to scream "Fort Bayard"...
Rush to the door and hysterically shout: "/ Name/!!! Find the key and get out!It wasn’t my best idea, but how much new I learned about myself!

A message from an unknown number:
“Mom, this is my new number. Put on it 300 rubles - then I will explain everything!"

I: "Sorry, I have no children yet"

Smska in response: "the 300 rubles sorry, shit?"

(11:59:25 AM) XX: the photo tag has not been pulled home by chance?
(12:05:58 PM) YYY: enfobk )
(12:06:01 PM) YYY: pulled )
(12:08:40 PM) XX: uebok )
(12:08:42 PM) XX: sorry )

A pair of TVs:
Pythagoras, when he proved his theorem, pleasedly ordered to sacrifice 100 oxen.
Pause, "...and since then all cattle have been afraid of scientific discoveries!"

With torren... sorry, rottracker.org

XXX: Thank you for sharing! Only one thing is unclear: why to rip material with different codecs
AVI and WMV. WMV3 (Windows Media Video V9) and H.264 (AVC)
After all, some of them are played only on the comp, so as if the audience is consciously cut off, preferring to see a high-quality image through DVD players and televisions.

Yyy: I’m forced to disappoint you, but I don’t even understand most of the above words. Therefore, the audience that prefers to see a high-quality image through DVD players and TVs is cut off completely unconsciously.

by Geqsogen:
Alexey, fuck the brain of Nicholas directly - don't make me an intermediary, or Gandon I feel!

What kind of girl is this, will you introduce me?
It is me, the fool!
It is humor, idiot!

The story was told by a friend (it has a stunning charming appearance, according to the passport - 21 years, looks at 20). So, she sits somehow in a cafe, not in the mood, drinks coffee. At the table sits "picapper", a man under forty, begins the conversation:
M: You know, girl, you are so beautiful today, I am professionally engaged in astrology, in which year you were born?
A friend wants to send him, but politeness does not allow him.
You have such eyes! Maybe the Year of the Dragon?? to
Q: Yes, in the Year of the Dragon
M: (with the appearance of a doctor of astrological sciences, quickly counting in mind) Tam-taram!!! You are 33 years old :D

I have never received such compliments.

A friend who moved to Canada as a child and, accordingly, grew up abroad sends a message:

"Take it up now! Now I decided to remember my childhood and watched Winnie the Pooh Russian... and fucking in shock! They, Maschk, you know... they’re honey from bees! They stole! Right in the mule! Then they came to the rabbit and ate it all. All of it! And in the hole! ;) What did I do when I was a child?"

O_O

Diabolical: Rumor, and Michai che, with Anka is all?
Mario: Uhu)))
Diabolical by Huiase. When did they run away? O_O
by Mario: Yesterday
Diabolical is fun. So, who was in his cabin for that? And I saw him last night, he was with a findiel under the eye.
Mario: Yesterday was history. You know that joke.
Diabolical: Let’s get more detailed)
We are waiting for Irene. And Michas is so serious, says "I’ll tell you a story". Everyone is listening, listening to all ears.
Mario: He is starting.
Mario: A friend told me that he knew one family (father and daughter) of foresters. Then my father left the house and did not come back. But half a year later, he knocked on the door and asked him to eat. She was terrified and locked the door. In the morning, she went to her father and asked for advice. He told her that she would let him into the house, give him food... and then cross him from the back. She did so. The father came, she let him in, served dinner. They sat down at the table, but she accidentally fell a fork. She leaned to lift it and saw that her father had a copper instead of legs.

Mario: He continues... "The daughter asked her father, ‘Daddy, are you fucking?’"
Mario: And here Michai is sharply as grumpy as it is: "Yes!".
Mario: Well, Anka immediately fainted and Stas was clean on the machine like a jerk in the harry! That is how it all happened.
Diabolical: And I knew he would find out with his jokes someday.

Question from the Microsoft test:
Where do you buy the sausage?
1) In the cabbage shop. It is fresh and delicious there.
2) I download a virtual sausage cut from torrents. It is free there.
3) The man who takes her out of the sausage factory. What did he wear under his shirt? He is washing. Probably though.
I am a man from the previous answer.

I need to add such questions:
"Do you buy sausages separately for each family member?"
"Do you cut a sausage with a knife recommended by the sausage manufacturer?"
Do you like when after 2 years your favorite sausage stopped being produced, and to cut a new sausage, you need to buy a new knife?

I am just fine! Tifou Tifou Tifou. May everyone be well!

The study found that 90% of visitors to www.mozilla.org use Internet Explorer.

by felix812
I came for an interview. The young girl went to the cacao. 22 on the doorway is a phone as usual with an internal number. The electricity there the disk machine stood))) and this girl removes the pipe and does not spin the disk and just there the finger inserts waits, then inserts the number in the track and waits again))) stands dumb and that does not work :rofl:

Security : What?! to
Student: An autonomous firefighter eats, prevents sleep.
A: I will take a picture of the ladder. Why are you in one shoe?
C: We tried to get her out of there.
O : and?
C: The top is stuck in the ceiling.
Yes, they are mutants.

I worked in a company that was engaged in the assembly and service of express payment terminals. And then one day one terminal was hanging on the service, and the tachskrin did not want to work with him. They gathered, began to check. And came to mind a brilliant idea, connected the monitor to the computer, on which was installed IL-2 strike aircraft :-) Who played, he will understand :-) That is, when you fly, you mean, over Belin and straight hands steered you turn, the fingers of each button you use - 100 percent realism :-))) The work stood up for a week, all the employees of the company built in a row on the airplane to fly" :-) In the first rows stood the head of the office, with the words "Yes, they went into the ass these customers, I still did not bomb the station" :-)