bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №46133
 18.04.2011
The action takes place in honey.
Prepod is late for 30 minutes, our already spit into the ceiling - to do a nephig. There is one who pronounces the tirade: "Vasya (prepod) podi is now awake, fries an egg and thinks: here is the fucking, late, no, anyway these fools don't know the farm and don't learn it." At the same time, he says this, sitting at the lecture table and playing something on the phone. At this moment there is a rushing...

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №46132
 18.04.2011
A friend called and rushed where to buy her a deflorator. I had difficulty answering her. It turned out that a regular depilator was needed.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №46131
 18.04.2011
From the sims2 forum:
A: The social worker took the child! What to do?
B is Hello! Also also? How to return a family member, but selected by the social service, baby? and husband how to return? Thanks in advance :)
Q: Has your husband been taken by the social service? :D
B: - not my husband I myself pulled out of the house:(Karoche is now visiting, jealous scandals scandal whistle, beats, and I did it (Return his hottu:(
D: No, my husband is just a gentleman. I don’t know about baby.
E: A friend came to me from work, held my child in his arms all night and eventually took it with him, a goat!
F: -A, when I have a social worker I sell the child, sometimes after the sale comes the police.

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №46130
 18.04.2011
I have a shell of grenade, it stands above the computer. There are all kinds of bombs behind the grenade.
The younger brother played intense pointblank, and there means when someone throws a grenade, a whispering cry goes into the timchat: “Granate!!!” Well, he plays, I pulled through him for a charge and dropped the mole on the table right in front of him. And at this moment the scream from the columns was like a grenade!!! to
The brother shouting, clashing and falling escaped to another room in another room, explained that he thought that the grenade from the game has flown out.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №46129
 18.04.2011
After the reform, the wages of doctors will rise from 12 thousand to 10 thousand. The"

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №46128
 18.04.2011
Yulia
How to feel yourself?

Ivan is
I am still sick:

Yulia
Have fun!

Ivan is
I am sick! :D

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №46127
 18.04.2011
Vitiok: If I lived in the same city with AI developers, I would have been sitting for their murder for a long time, and I would have millions of transmitters wearing it.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №46126
 18.04.2011
She says: Badawaam!! to
Is he drunk?
She is: No! I do not drink and do not advise.
He is: and right! Drinking and advising are two bad habits dangerous to health.

[ + 63 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №46125
 18.04.2011
The adviser to the president revealed the reason why parents are unwilling to give their children to freezers.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №46124
 18.04.2011
Yesterday, Jack and I were accepted by the ppsniki, he was attached to him, I was for the company, we left for the tree. We get out, we get out, you guys! It turns out, right in front of their nose, and they did not notice them) said, documents, there and there, go into the car. We sit. Vladimir Vladimirovich, what to do with you? I can’t stand up: "to understand... and to get rid of..."))
And it runs, throw it! to the Lybid Dage)

[ + 93 - ] Comment quote №46123
 18.04.2011
and Kazan. by 16.04.11 On the street, the old woman’s head turned, and she fell on the asphalt. I want to say thank you to the man who was late to the dental clinic for x-rays, but not only stopped and helped pick up the grandmother, but also took her home by car.
I’m glad there are people who don’t care what happens to others.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №46122
 18.04.2011
The quotation in the Book of Complaints began as follows: “The morning seemed frosty!..."

[ + 75 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №46121
 18.04.2011
In 1572, the Sultan decided to conquer the wild, as the European brochures asserted, Moscow. From the Crimea to the north moved 120 thousand troops, with the support of 20 thousand Yanchars and 200 guns. Near the village of Mladí, the Ottomans faced a 50-thousand squad of voivodes Mikhail Vorotynsky. And the Turkish army was: No, not stopped – cut out entirely!!! to

Information about the Battle of the Youth can generally be attributed to the category of closed. Do not give God, the Russian bull will learn that the actions of the ancestors in the Middle Ages it can also be proud! He will develop an incorrect self-awareness, love for the Fatherland, for her actions. This is wrong. So, to find data about the battle of the youth is difficult, but it is possible - in specialized manuals. For example, in the “Encyclopedia of weapons” Kim three lines are written.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №46120
 18.04.2011
Nokia has entered the “dark Middle Ages”
yyy: "At the end of April, more than 6 thousand people could receive notifications about the reduction."
Wrath, where is that so much? Who will create models? One and a half people?
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX There were about 20,000 workers at the development of Symbian, and what did they? The fucking market!! We need a balanced but result-oriented team, and when they sit on the pop straight, knowing they won’t be fired, you can’t do anything. Google is throwing them out.
Zzz: Well, in Samsung, two people are engaged in the development of phones in general: one applies the iPhone to a sheet of paper and holds it, and the other surrounds it.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №46119
 18.04.2011
The seafood:
Today we go to the center of the city with our kids. The child asks "Mom, why are there so many police officers on the street?"I say "Because today football" is "and it is that people don’t run away from football?"

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №46118
 18.04.2011
To defeat the unknown fucking fuck can only everywhere.
c) Feofan

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №46117
 18.04.2011
The arithmetic of love: the purity of a man's thoughts is inversely proportional to the beauty of a woman.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №46116
 18.04.2011
As a Chemical - Chemical
End of the 80s. They are D. I. Mendeleev. The dormitory. In one of the rooms there is an orgy with a buffet dedicated to the arrival of one of the dear friends to try to recover from the loss of course after last year's depreciation.
Simultaneously with this event, there is another, more routine, called the "Komsomol raid", or somehow, in the spirit of the time. Komsomolsk volunteers, accompanied by the Deputy Dean, harvest the floors on the subject of violation of the postulates of the moral code of the builder of a bright future. Now it is our turn to the party.
Zamdecana opens the door to the block and sees the culprit of the celebration with a bursting bubble of water in his hand, a whitemore in his teeth and some kind of marble under his wing.
He is surprised and asks:
The Petrov? What are you doing, Peter, here? Remember, we are you
Recalled last year...
– And I, it’s... Sergei Sergeich... Well... I’m recovering.
How is it? Listen to me, Peter. As a chemist. You are not
You are recovering. You are oxidizing.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №46115
 18.04.2011
I want a brother.
You will have a brother.
Hello Dad! I have agreed. You will have sex tonight. with you
Drums and Flomasters.

[ + 74 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №46114
 18.04.2011
If scientists from different fields gather together, we will get a crowd of people who know about the world, roughly speaking, everything. If we gather representatives of all religions together, we will get a huge fight.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna