bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №129621
 18.06.2016
Once in her youth, she talked to her dad on the topic of how much time women spend on cosmetics.
I: I’m just painting my lips. As long as I am in the elevator.
Q: In 40 seconds? The young man. As a soldier.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №129620
 18.06.2016
I do not yet understand - visually now fashion on phytos, fragile thin twigs for seven years, or even ten left the pictures - they continue to love only individual not very numerous people with such a personal preference. Phytonashs are slim and fat-free, but the muscles are heavier than fat, so they weigh a lot with more or less noticeable growth (plus they have almost always a powerful ass for some reason). And some strange people continue to calculate weight norms so that girls have neither fat nor muscle at all.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №129619
 18.06.2016
I met a guy here on the net, a funny one.
He, for instance, sincerely considers the word “switch” unworthy, because he considers it a jargon name, citing the “ejaculation result” of a man who eats too much sweets.
xxx =D
XXX: He thinks it’s a sweet puddle.
and Emm.
YYY: Is it not?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №129618
 18.06.2016
xxx: Fuck, here are two girls 7-9 years old, so much getting out, I just don't want a mate
XXX: It is fun.
yyy: treat small debils with phuism)
YYY: For the big ones, too.
YYY: Generally speaking, it is better to treat the fools with puzzles.
Wise advice from an older sister

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №129617
 18.06.2016
Women are divided into those of whom the goats have taken away the best years of life, and the single ones who are not lucky.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №129616
 18.06.2016
Yes, he is such a bitch that he can play the roles of three brothers: the younger now, the middle in three years, and in the role of the elder when he is twenty, and then weave the vidos together, including scenes where they communicate with each other in the same frame.
> Fuck, I didn’t have to speak this idea out loud, suddenly it will do O_o

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №129615
 18.06.2016
67 kilograms – and it’s fat?!!!!! to
The men ate, they ate.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №129614
 18.06.2016
111: The main component of shouting "pump", IMCO is jealousy. "Here she, fucking, not stressing, and I broke everything up here...I also want it!"
The anatomical structure of the mouth in men and women is the same.
111:Well, this is the case when gender stereotypes in society and sexism interfere with male earnings.)))

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №129613
 18.06.2016
Canakau: Today is World Wide Knit in Public Day
Diamond: the day of OMON, what?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №129612
 18.06.2016
The case was in a village, where a man from a local livestock farm on which he worked because of the fact that he had long not been paid the salary of a rabbit's sperm (one), and unwillingly licitly let him for a full-fledged dinner for the family. The man was burned and he did not deny blinded the case to be brought to court. The man went out of court for eight years, and this is why:

The rabbit turned out to be a rare breed, was bought for a relatively large amount (something around two kilobacks) and was a tribal producer. As a result, the man was not judged according to Article 158, but according to Article 164, and then the excerpt:

According to Article 164. Theft of items of special value. 1st Theft of objects or documents of special historical, scientific, artistic or cultural value, regardless of the method of theft. and. .”

and subparagraph:

c) which has resulted in the destruction, damage or destruction of objects or documents referred to in the first part of this article, shall be punished by imprisonment for a period from eight to fifteen years. and. .”



In general, if he spares from the Russian museum "Lunar Night" and puts on wood - he would also get (or up to 15 years + a fine).

Here's what a man's dinner came out, for 8 years of free feeding.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №129611
 18.06.2016
This happened even before the time of “fruit juice” advertising.

My cousin grew up in the “greenhouse” conditions of my grandmother... too “greenhouse.”

In any attempt to fix something, the grandmother protested.

Do not lie down! He is small!

Once in the hearts it was called "greenhouse fruit" that the grandmother did not perceive as a negative fact, but on the contrary was taken on arms.

From that day on, my grandmother called it "sweet berry".

“Who here has a sweet berry, I will bite!

My sweet cake has arrived!

It is time for the berries to sleep! and etc.

He did not go to kindergarten. Grandma is more obvious how to raise "your berry"! ! to ! to

By the way and conscious friends he rebirthed did not have, at most it is a crawling gang of "chuch-chuch, my, give", until now - not having the freedom to choose friends.

Once he was lucky to come out "in the world", 5 years already like no one.

School is not beyond the mountains, and you can't put your grandmother with you at the party - learn to communicate with peers.

He was surrounded by a bunch of children.

I am Serena.

I am Paul.

I am Egor! Let us be friends!

What is your name?

From the influx of emotions, the brother turned for support to the grandmother, she flooded in a smile from humiliation and kissed approvingly.

And I... I’m a sweet berry!

The curtain...

In the family, he was called only by name.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129610
 18.06.2016
Slow down on the big to get around the separating couple. I wanted to press on the phone, but their dialogue was very painful. Two healthy, blushed men, in the grey costumes of a medium-caliber office, both under a half-piece:

I have two idiots in my department, why should I have a third? ! to

M2 (offended): We already have a third fool. It is you! Do you know what our office was called? The MMM! Three M, not two! I offer you an employee. This fool will work for you!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №129609
 18.06.2016
A friend of mine gave me the phone and address of a newly opened sauna near my home. Then one evening a woman says:

Should we go to the bathroom?

I remembered the clue of a friend.

But either I wrote the number wrong, or I entered it with an error, but the following came out.

I call.

and allo.

His voice answered like a child. Maybe even female.

Hi to you. Can you wash tonight?

A long pause.

I’ll ask my mom now.

I hanged the phone.

Would you suddenly agree?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №129608
 18.06.2016
A musical or singing road is a covered highway that transmits tactile and sound vibrations through the noise of the wheels and body of the car in such a way that a person hears musical melodies. Such roads are available in only four countries: Japan, South Korea, Denmark and the United States.

Comment: We just have a doughstep with an industrial.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №129607
 18.06.2016
I think that milk helps people with a cold only because it is now full of antibiotics.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №129606
 18.06.2016
Home Credit Bank sent SMS: offers to win the ball (!) with the autograph of Alexander Ovechkin. I don't know, maybe he's chasing the ball in his free time? Or does he, like in the anecdote about the Stradivari drum, write balls for real passans?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №129605
 18.06.2016
The first thing to understand - vim from the box is suitable except for editing configurations, for comfortable work with the code you need to install several plugins. I had 33.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №129604
 18.06.2016
A doctor with mistakes. A man from Ukraine wrote. He could not learn Russian at school, and, in general, maybe Russian and not his native. And professional qualities with literacy do not correlate at all.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №129603
 18.06.2016
from ZH:
I read the news about animals in the taxi.
- Behold, - I say, - Fedy, in Chelyabinsk built a nursery for dogs.
“Well,” said Fedya with relief, “they finally got there.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №129602
 18.06.2016
xxx> is a spherical fool.
yyy> you meant to be fairy?
xxx and xxx; no. The Spherical.
xxx> in the sense is a fool, no matter from which side to look.

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