I ordered a pizza at 2 p.m. I want to eat very much, but there is no pizza and no... I call back and find out that my order is lost! I express my great dissatisfaction with aggression. I refuse to order, throw the phone and order at another pizzeria.

5 minutes ago (4: 18) I open the door to the courier, and there are two of them in different caps ))

The first courier gives me two pizzas (presents) and a note - "We are obliged to feed you."

The second courier with the pizza I ordered from the competitors...

I wonder what they talked about in the tambour.



In short, I sit like a ninja turtle with three pizzas.

I remember when I was a child, it was the early 90s, I was 7, my mom took me to the market. Who remembers those times, in addition to having problems with money, there were still huge queues for almost everything. I approach the turn for the sausage, my mom gives me the money for 400 grams of sausage, and she clearly makes the calculation. She goes for some other goods, says, until the turn comes I will return. It went wrong. My turn has come, I say 400 grams of this sausage, the seller cuts off, lies on the weights of 480 grams - I say

I have 400 grams in calculation.

Seller - You're shaking my head, I'm on my turn

It’s not my fault that you can’t measure a piece of sausage accurately.

Oh, how smart you are, figured you, not the sausage. Behind me in the queue stood an uncle, saying, I will take this piece, and cut it off to him. It cuts 360 grams. Uncle says, you see whether you have problems with your eyes or your hands, and you are on the boy. The seller turned red, began to whisper - a man you allow yourself to go on in this spirit. I took the sausage and gave it, and went to the side. The seller waited a long time.

What is a DDoS attack?

This is when 100,000 people think of you at the same time and you die from hiccups.

Yyy: When in the route all passengers with 500 rubles.

zzz: What the passengers are chernalyon, and all of these five hundred are cheating on you. The pockets are fast clogged, passengers continue to throw banknotes where they should not throw them. In the end, you die from excess paper in the body.

The shit with ambitions not only does not sink, it is straight - flows over the water.

Once, my cousin and I had a real New Year.

Somewhere in Peter’s backyard, on the eve of the New Year... Our mothers wavered in the kitchen, and Lenka and I wanted a holiday. I then studied in the university, worked as a tutor, there was little money, but I was already working. I offered to buy candy and mandarins and stick gifts, as was previously issued on the Yelke. Well, with this wealth to get around my kids, those I taught English.

They went to the store and to the market. I remember that my money was not enough, and Lenka dropped on mandarin, like saved from school lunches, he was still small... I remember that he asked for gift packaging bags in the market from a candy seller. The money was in the hook, we all dropped down to a penny for candy. The bags were needed, I was embarrassed to ask, and Lenka could. He was very proud of his prey. He was shaken by pride.

In front of our eyes still stands the picture of how we have all our wealth beautifully disposed on the couch: candy of different sizes and varieties, in brilliant fantasy. Then we packed it all equally in bags and wrapped it in colored paper. When the paper was finished, the posters with Leonardo DiCaprio went to work. That was the end of my love for Titanic.

Mothers found us surrounded by our bags, mandarins, sweets, and said it was stupid to give out so much delicious. They suggested that sweets could be put on the table. Silently, with our eyes, we showed the abyss that divided us – we had a celebration, and they had an olive.

Then we were three, and a little boy from my house came in behind us, walked around all the children and congratulated us. No one was waiting for us, we were all happy. We walked the snowy streets from house to house as drunk, feeling like Santa Claus and singing Jingle Bells out loud. I don't remember why it was Jingle Bells, we only knew three or four lines. This is the only song we sang many times in a row.

At the end, there was one gift left... on the street, 3 hours before the New Year, some dad dragged his son home on his saucers. We caught them, asked if his son believed in Santa Claus – and when we received a positive answer, we gave the last gift. We returned home happy.

The ancient people. The leader summoned the tribe.
My people, from now on for hunting and gathering in our forests, for fishing and swimming in our rivers and lakes, for your good will be paid. Half of the fees I will take as a reward for the care of the tribe, the other half I will pay to the warriors who will beat those who will not pay for the good of our tribe!