Q: The cocktail is complex - consists of a real and an imaginary part?
and Aha.
A glass of water + kiwi on the back of the neck

I stopped believing in Santa when I saw his breasts in the kindergarten in the morning.

XXX: Tell Me
8 How to Name a Man
XXX: who at -30 degrees dating a girl
xxx on the street
Seeing that she has blue lips from the frost and white hair from INEA!!!! to
Is it ice eggs?

The Ministry of Defense of the Russian Federation has decided to refuse to purchase “Russian hammer” under the name “Tiger” since 2014. In the Russian troops will be supplied Italian armored vehicle "Rys".

Commentary: "War with NATO - from us with a white flag are parliamentarians - we ask you to send specialists for the guarantee repair of your equipment, here is the contract, here are the payment orders."

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Go with your old Russian...

XXX: O_O

I don’t like this bed!
WOW : Why?
To embrace you have to cuddle on it.)

Complicated exam in higher mathematics - ALL GROUP ONLINE

ABR: Here’s something, and the bitten cactus I didn’t expect to see on my desk after the corporate...

Physicist: Well tell me, after all, what is work measured in?
Student: E-E... A-A...
A quiet voice from the audience: in the joules!
Student: A-A-A... U-U-U...
A loud voice from the audience: in the joules!!! to
Students of E-E
Scream from the audience: In JOULES, THE DUPLO!!! to
Students of A-A
Physicist: I agree with the previous speaker, not counting.

Class 10: Class of Physics. The guy was called to the board to solve the task, but he can not write the condition, because. I have forgotten how it is written. of resistance). The class, of course, began to explain more clearly, say, M with a tail, etc. Then suddenly a scream from the back:
Remember the judo sign!
About the times, about the morals.

To get me money,
To become smarter,
To kill, to become healthier.
Getting up early?! to
to hold hold,
Not to be psychotic,
Frequently engaging in sports.
Want to rest?! to
To go through life,
Entering the brain scratches inside.
It will always help,
This is a fact, as it is.

In Ireland, women can make offers to men on their own. The man who refused must pay a fine. This tradition has existed since the 11th century.
They have fun there though))) xD

by egnat2k:
Brake a little drunk in the subway... And I was driving from the client (the comp was bringing him in order). And the pockets – that’s all.And then the backpack. and there I have a full set of causes - starting with screws and ending with thermopasta and lubricant for coolers (essential in the syringe). The one who delayed, even dropped on his tongue (idiot, suddenly I would have a fluff there!!!). Until the eldest approached and told him there were psychics like me... then I was released. I am here, now I think: who did they count me...!?!? to

From the online broadcast:

Radulov, who broke the claw, defended with his naked hands. At the same time, it moves exactly as if it had a claw. It worked, the Canadians also play as if Radulov had a claw.

I immediately noticed that something was wrong with her when picking flour in the supermarket, she opened the pack with a knife and started rubbing it into the gums.

Lucky
I want to go but no papers.

Sky
Send a fax?

I learned today that when I split up with my girlfriend 2 years ago, she was already sleeping with my best friend.
A friend really proved to be the best – he also immediately broke up with my girlfriend.

How can we make our country more religious?

Free Wi-Fi in every church

Make it so that if you press the plus twice, then the smiley of :) turns into :D

God is the greatest programmer and architect of our world.

The devil is the most important test of what God has created.

Heaven is the most reliable and stable version. Here are the most good, honest and not made in their life many mistakes of sins of the soul.

Hell is a bag-tracker, here are the bugs-souls who have dropped completely in the test case or who have made more mistakes than the maximum permissible number in their lives. Probably different numbers for each soul.

Temptations are the same tests by which the devil tests the resistance of souls to various sins and errors.

Since the Chief Programmer is always busy, it is therefore clear that the stay of the soul in hell before getting back to the Chief Programmer for its correction strives for infinity.