bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №55175
 19.10.2011
Fuck... begins the crying of the boys who haven’t had time to get their bodies for winter.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №55174
 19.10.2011
unikate: we have a real circus here: a low and thin senior prorab asked our chief engineer to plant it - to get a project with a high shelf. Probably got the project and says - all, let go! He does not give up!! and walks with him - on his hands - through the office, with a happy-doll-like expression of the face, loudly proclaiming the office with shouts of the "acrobatic number!"and "

[ + 44 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №55173
 19.10.2011
Mathematics textbook for 5th grade:
Travelling past the GIBDD station at a speed of 105 km / h, the owner of the Oka car did not stop at the signal of an inspector. Two minutes later, the indignant inspector rushed after him on a BMW motorcycle, but, having developed a speed of about 210 km / h, did not notice how he overtook the offender. Ten minutes later, he realized his mistake and turned and, reducing the speed to 15 km / h, went to meet him. After what time after the turn the inspector meets Oka?"
I have two questions about this task:
What did the authors of the textbook smoke?
How much money does an OKI driver give to the DPS inspector?

[ + 52 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №55172
 19.10.2011
A to:
We had a building inspection.
A to:
The Winter Clothes
A to:
In the yard of the department
A to:
We built meant
A to:
The entire police department. People 150
A to:
We stand in two bars.
A to:
And here the gate opens and enters the yard of the rubbish car.
A to:
behind rubbish

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №55171
 19.10.2011
As a young man, the case was - my uncle visited me - he said, you drink, I am so dumb - I will think:) and since I am not drunk in alcohol, I call my girlfriend - I say, the glamorous aunts of alcohol consume? Martini asks, you will not be mistaken.
My uncle calls and clarifies. I have a very loud voice, Maarten. :)
Nivea
Bringing Martini and here I fucking...with STOPOR HDD :)
Epic Feel is Blind:))))
I’m looking at Martini, you have your favorite drink.
and)))

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №55170
 19.10.2011
1: What are you doing?
2: I sit in the window and look
1: What is interesting?
P.S. It’s all in shit :)
Who’s gonna see you in the window? 😉
No, not the window. A few cars and a beer barrel) There the well was cleaned with this machine.. well with a thick pipe. But he did not stand the pressure of the hail and the pudding.
1st trip to the asanasizers)

[ + 52 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №55169
 19.10.2011
OYASH: Another argument in favor of entering the MSU: Love is sold in the buffet for five rubles. I am not joking!

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №55168
 19.10.2011
A. P. EYou are on your back... in bliss stretched out your arms... one slightly bended in your knee, I carry it up and down.

A. P. EThe foot! There was a leg in my knee... I lost only one word! I am hysterical!

S.T.AIn bliss I stretched out my arms... one slightly bended in my knee – I grieve and cry, I cry and I grieve! :D

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №55167
 19.10.2011
xxx: I went to the climb today, all the bars were too healthy weights, removed all the clothes from one, from the other, from the gym: as a result, the whole floor in the iron)
yyy: I went to the crawl, the same situation.. decided to remove all the clothes, removed, tired, left...

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №55166
 19.10.2011
From the social network.

High if on heels, good if not angry, loving if not to love, smart if not to ask stupid questions.

The first comment:
Fuck it, if not fucking.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №55165
 19.10.2011
xxx: Do you need these kinds of iPads and iPhones? I would never buy it!
YYY: What do you have, big member?

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №55164
 19.10.2011
Xxx: I also occasionally attended a meeting of sales staff who discussed how to reduce the number of customer beatings.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №55163
 19.10.2011
Today, watching her husband brushing potatoes, she dreamingly said, “I love to forge my eyes with my nails!” and didn’t immediately understand why he looked at me so strangely.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №55162
 19.10.2011
Do you know what black snow is called?
YYYYYYYYYYYYY
xxx: the snow x)

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №55161
 19.10.2011
I want a dress and a clock.
M: You will learn to make a deep minette, you will have a clock! and :)
Q: So is it possible? In five years of our life together, I never knew about it! In two weeks, you will have a deep myth!! to
M: FIGASE, and CHO, is it possible??? I didn’t even know about it in five years. This is fucking!

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №55160
 19.10.2011
From the rover club.
And I took my 620 without even looking at it. The wife (already the former) six months after the wedding started to actively spend the deferred money on every occasion. I, (while my wife was at work) bought a newspaper, opened the first announcement, called the seller and listened to what I was doing in the evening and bought the machine.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №55159
 19.10.2011
Bata gave the number of a familiar instructor on restoration of driving skills.

I call the instructor.

-Hello Alexey *onovich, I am about the restoration of driving skills.

- Yes, yes... (second pause) you press out the clutch, you turn on it
The first transmission...

I put the phone and I think I need such a repair.
One day later, he told the student how to touch.

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №55158
 19.10.2011
Did you make her a coon?
2nd AGA
1: What does it look like?
It tastes like the orbit of the vagina.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №55157
 19.10.2011
XXX: I solve with 2 business cases. Give us the name of the team.
YYY: Three-dimensional
zzz: Tridebyletylbenzole

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №55156
 19.10.2011
News on the media website:
In the capital you can get a blessing... by phone! Moscovites are heard by priests-operators.

Commentary: Is the indulgence of the Esame dismissed?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna