bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №127045
 19.04.2016
So, parents, dress children stricter and more wise - in long sweaters, long pants, closed dresses, shirts. for their good and safety. Young age should not be an excuse for impeccable clothing.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Fuck it now. Give all the babs in the hijab – you will be Iran.Shared, fucking, pedophile hysteria.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127044
 19.04.2016
The daughter finds a long belt, runs with him around the apartment, runs to us with her wife and says: I am a shepherd!!! Seeing our amazed faces decides to clarify: Well... the cow representative!

[ + 28 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127043
 19.04.2016
Who wrote about "Baptism"? My wife and I trusted our grandmother for the summer. The child was returned with pneumonia. Why is? "Well, he is not baptized with you, I took him to church". Now she is very upset that she is not allowed to see her grandson.

My son is not three years old.

[ + 24 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127042
 19.04.2016
In various regions of our wonderful country there are some of their own, local names familiar to all things. Thus, a bowl of bread in the Volga is sometimes called a saika, and the long-distance drivers of remote regions of the landlords call the impenetrable bows.
But only Peter’s parades fought.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №127041
 19.04.2016
- I want to give a fun home piece of pyjamas with ears (so that when my husband is not at home, walk it)))))
- I gave this pyjama to my husband on the NH, and then I went to suffer that I want the same))
I represented a healthy unshaken man in a pyjamas with ears. I wept. I went googling pyjamas available for an adult uncle.
“After I saw a dark, deeply pregnant rabbit coming out of the dark room in the hospital, hugged with a dropper on the wheels, I can’t imagine that...Pyjamas with ears is power!
Aaaah aaaah!! to
- I really wanted to roast loudly, but it was somehow uncomfortable in front of the dark rabbit )) But for how many years this picture is not smoothed out of memory ))))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №127040
 19.04.2016
How to Survive Love Loss
kefir and a couple of ripe slives
Two cucumbers and Coca-Cola
And now you have to joke.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №127039
 19.04.2016
What night the advanced parent went.It turns out, it all depends on the name.Individuality directly will grow around the grandchildren, the main name needed to pick up.Such settings are default.Called the child Algenbradom-Opa,Nobel laureate.Well, otherwise,not a slider.
And education, occupation, education is nonsense for unadvanced))

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127038
 19.04.2016
I sent a text, a quote. She signed the page, the publisher, the note number, everything as it should be. In response, give me a link!
There is no reference, I say. This is an excerpt from a printed book.
In response, silence is apparent. A printed book, how is it?

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127037
 19.04.2016
XXX: I just understood something important
If I pull out two peelmen from each of the neighbors’ packages, I will have a full-fledged dinner and they will not notice anything.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №127036
 19.04.2016
Educational and nostalgic:

About the branches. If I’m not mistaken, it’s from "The Dog on the Seed" by Lope de Vega. I read since I was a child, more than 10 years ago.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
About the Branches is the speech of the heroine Gundareva in the "Truffaldino of Bergamo".
The play, on which the wonderful film was filmed - The Servant of Two Lords.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №127035
 19.04.2016
Being a beast is cool, you don’t have to be stressed to have fun. You see the poster of the play "Sirano de Bergerak" and it's funny. Sirene and LOL.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №127034
 19.04.2016
One grandmother spoke Russian well and turned out to have lived in NY for 20 years and was asked
- Grandma, how you live and speak only Russian
My son is not going to America.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №127033
 19.04.2016
About the names.

As a child I suffered from my name Vasya, and I thought it would be better to be called Sasha or Andrew. Well, how I suffered... Well I didn’t like the name, that’s all. There was no explicit logic. Just a star-style name, as I thought. Or like a cat. Irritation was not irritated. The name of the rocker is also uncomfortable.

But now I see some shit full of names. That, fucking, Capitolina Denisovna, then Monica Petrovna, or even Sigismund Innocentyevich in general. A shame, not a name. Children will be grateful when they grow up. Want a rare name? Fuck, they are full of them! Just think about how you would be in a school with such a name, and then call your children so. What bad thing did your child do that you called her a Foolish Edikova?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №127032
 19.04.2016
I do not understand:

To introduce a law according to which the name of the child is chosen by the father (not the parents) at baptism. So all of these Snowmen-Isaur will not be, and people in the country will finally all be baptized (one figure Russia is a right-wing country).

Or a troll or a fool. Or maybe Dad? Go with your Orthodoxy. Russia is a constitutional state in which at least on paper the church is separated from the governing power. Orthodox sharia was lacking. What if unchristened children are thrown out?

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №127031
 19.04.2016
I am the mistress of a married man. And married to me. When the household, children, mortgage arrives, we meet again with him anywhere and establish a passionate relationship for one night. Then we go home separately and at breakfast we pretend that nothing happened. You can also ask each other where you were and how plausible to lie in response.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №127030
 19.04.2016
What can you tell us about the utopia?

- Mor, becoming the general manager of the AutoVAZ, decided that he could make Lada a car... It is a utopia!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127029
 19.04.2016
I remember my early childhood, during my enrollment in the junior groups of kindergarten. We went to visit my grandfather and grandmother. They lived far from us, so we rarely saw each other. Also with them lived my uncle (father's brother), years under forty, who all the period of his life, after serving in the missile troops, drank without drying, and did not work anywhere (as strange as it is). In conversations about him, his father always called him Alkas. Grandmother and grandfather called him Alkas and no other way. Every inhabitant of this picturesque village, referred to him only as "Alkas". Based on this observation, I sincerely thought that my uncle was called that, and I often thought about it, “Well! He was called Alkas when he was a child, and he was Alkas and grew up! Apparently there were signs of something to call him so specifically from childhood." Not reaching a few kilometers to my grandmother’s house, my father turns to me and says:

O: You are this, Alkasha, do not call it Alkasha.

It’s hard to describe in words the depth of my amazement, I didn’t even have options, as it might be called. Could I have been so wrong and he’s not Alkas?

I: Eeeeye... and how to call it?

The Uncle Vanya.

After such a cognitive dissonance, I remained silent all the way, staring at the front passenger seat.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №127028
 19.04.2016
No matter how cool and pathetic music sounds from the open windows of your car, passers will still consider you an idiot.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №127027
 19.04.2016
When I was a student, I often went to visit my grandfather in the village.

My grandfather was such a cheerful old man, a lover of joking and mocking everybody. Everyone is accustomed and has not been offended by his sharpness.

At breakfast, he asked me:

“Lord, who are you studying at all?”

I hear another joke/history I answer simply:

“Well, for the electric...”

“And how is it? Does it work?” (He is shaking up)

“Yes, I don’t think...”

My grandfather stopped without finishing:

“Figgy is all! This is our village master, this is the Electricist! Gold hands of nature. He made the whole village electric! Is this how they teach you to measure the tension on the wire?”

“Well, there are special indicator holes – “probe holes.”

“The youth will not learn anything. I always checked the tension with two fingers.

A grandmother enters the room.

“The grandmother! I’m talking to my grandson about electricity. I haven’t seen him for a long time, where has he disappeared?”

“So he died...”

“How did he die?” 0 - O

“The current killed him. Three years as buried.

Then they sat silently.

Grandfather has long been gone, and I every time I deal with electrical wiring take a prob and remember with a smile his and that miracle.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127026
 19.04.2016
How people for months and years hanging and hanging a bucket on the ears of both partners - I can't imagine. It is living in constant stress. Do you lack adrenaline? No, I still don’t understand."

Don’t confuse tourism with immigration. and c)

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna