I went to the CTO's, and there the people were hurt. I sit and wait. The contingent was solid - men from 40. A 25-year-old man comes in. With his sight, he does not see well - he wears lenses. And the lenses with a prick are alia vampire: red with a vertical pupil. He walks, everywhere the grail swirls, stumbles - his eyes are cleared, his lenses are shown. Well, one mechanic got such a case, he asks him:
and oh! What is it with your eyes? Fuck what do you want?

SORRY for the U.S..

My laptop broke. I took my wounded soldier to the workshop.

The master calls with the question:
What password do you have on your laptop?
There is no password.

He hanged the phone. In a few minutes the master calls. With a prayer in the voice:
- Girl, well tell me what your password is, or we searched for it, we found nothing.
I don’t have a password on the note. Just press Enter!

Hanged the phone. In a few minutes.

What is your password on the note?
Press Enter and you will be happy!
Just press Enter? Do you have a password to enter the notebook?
and yes.
I would say so immediately!

Who is a blonde?

I fucking learned about this fucking volcano from here. Isn’t it the PPS?

Have you heard the firefighters call?
and how)
and ally! The ambulance? Firefighters and fucking.

We sit with a girl, I put on the download of a movie, she turns a box from the external railroad in her hands.
I throw through the shoulder, referring to the origin of the box:
From the screw...
Oh you fly!

JOJO: When I was working at the museum, I was the cause of several small heart attacks in the visiting grandmothers. As long as I sit, nothing. I move – scream immediately: "Oh, you are alive!!! I thought you were an exhibition, a wax doll!"

For those who don’t have a car, I suggest wearing blue coats on their heads.
And to write on it: Yá Chovnik.

In Russia there are two misfortunes - fools and roads - and only two joys - fools and roads.

to this:

It was when he was still in school.
We sit on history, and we have annual control work. Prepod young and very strict if burned, driven out and put a pair. Your submissive servant is sitting there and so extremely quickly scatters the answers from the textbook. Prep notices this.
Give the textbook and go out of class.
I: * Making movement like the оби-van whistling with the attackers in 4 episodes * you don't need my textbook.
And precisely at this time at the preacher's phone rings on which the melody, rightly, the imperial march. He stumbled and did not expel.
In a few weeks, the control is already in algebra. I sit down, it doesn’t work. Here, in a rush of emotions, I scream to the whole class "I AM THE GREAT SITH!"
At that moment, the electricity is turned off all over the school and we are released home.

Where can I get a light sword?

_________________________
The Psychiatrist

to this:
I am 25 years old. But I still, bitten from the candy and realizing that I don't like it - I squeeze it back into the fantic and carefully wrap it.
_____
Do you work in a candy factory?

to this

I only have 6 rubles.
yyy: for six rebels you can buy three chewers per ruble :-)
XXX: Did you understand what you said?

----------------
Damn, let the first one throw a stone on me who says that for six rubles you can't buy three rubles per ruble. There will also be surrender.

The amazing paradox of the Russian language: the words "long" and "fast" are antonyms, right? At the same time, the phrases "how long not to finish?" and "how quickly not to finish?" are absolutely identical in meaning. What is the underground? =)

I write to a friend:
Have you put a blue coat on your car?
Why Do Not Two Horses Look Together?

Playing a game with friends:
All civilians wake up except Artem, he was killed by the mafia.
One girl is still sitting with her eyes closed.
I am "Marina you are dead by your death?"

A cognitive dissonance?
There is a store in Peter, on A. Nevsky Street, "Nature".
1st In the cage in the embrace lie a cave and a white rat. The inscription on the cage: “Rats are not food, rats are friends.”
2nd The store carries a cat, whom the seller calls Schröder (due to his attitude to everything paper).
Three In the cage is a hook that the cat is trying to play with. The seller said that if the cage is opened, then the shredder (in relation to the cat and all the paparazzi) will already become a chorus (due to its nature it is already given for 5k instead of the original 16k...)
4 is On the cage with the indissociables sits a huge white poppy and teaches them to talk.
5 is A simple question about the bird-eaters ends with the removal of one of them from the bench and an insistent proposal to chew the tarantula.
The usual trip to this store for the cat toilet turns into an unforgettable adventure.

A psychologist shows his son a card, which depicts: a hat, a hat, a police officer
Foursquare and valley. They ask:

Winnie, what is the wrong thing?
Vanessa shows the police shirt. The psychologist is surprised and asks:

Why is?

Vanessa calmly replied:

“Because these things are worn by normal people, and the coatings are HAISCHNIKI.

Psychologist and I are in shock.

Apple launches a new ultra-fast and stylish model of ambulance
Name: Ibolid

to this:

You know what smiley means. ;)
A smile from blinking?
He means that you are important to a man and he has no chance to change the key layout!!! to


I don’t know why I need to change the keyboard???? to

One day my mother was at work (she was working in a bar). It was late, the "ready" company was sitting at the table. Television began showing Kipelova. Aunt from this company turns to her interlocutor :"I saw how great Presnyakov can sing! Wonderful, I didn’t even know he had such a voice. Why did he not sing so before?"