bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №64404
 19.05.2012
Today is the Night of Museums and the Champions League final. We will see which of the guys loves their girls more.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №64403
 19.05.2012
Discussion of the cost of new Ukrainian high-speed trains
Anna Karenina: I will continue to drive buses.
Yojin of Bajin: God Himself told you

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №64402
 19.05.2012
xxx: if you call with friends of girls in the sauna and among them comes your ex - this will be shit
Fuck, it’s going to come XD

[ + 55 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64401
 19.05.2012
No guys, so what?I was engaged in sex in a doggy style with a little-known lady after a birthday, for a long time I could not understand what a strange sound, and then I still looked, and this fox olive eats!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №64400
 19.05.2012
xxxxxxxxxxx:
Congratulations to! We are in OPE! And deep there.

WOW :
A month as

and xxx:
No to! There is promotion!

and xxx:
In the depth...

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64399
 19.05.2012
I dreamed or I actually saw a couple of days ago on TV Internet Exsplrer advertisement under Dubstep?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №64398
 19.05.2012
From the resume of the leading C++ developer on superjob:

I am not currently looking for work. I just boast ;)

[ + 29 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64397
 19.05.2012
a carpenter in Ukrainian - a conic or a squirrel, who tells you such nonsense about striptease?? to

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №64396
 19.05.2012
Laurana: I now in a semi-bred state came to mind the idea of a product - a hoodie for the male genital organ, with the ability to attach printed words to literally turn on x**" what you do not like. If it goes, you can start producing mini carousels, with several spaces to rotate.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №64395
 19.05.2012
X: How can you talk over 8 hours on the phone?
Y: ordinary thing) just when you want to
X: Whenever you want you can come and fuck.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №64394
 19.05.2012
Fact 1: Diablo 3 is out
Fact 2: Canadians struck the Slovaks in HOKKEY WITH SHAYBOY (!)
The end of the world will not surprise anyone.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №64393
 19.05.2012
The zoological paradox: about the bars on the neck, the jaguar in the garage and the tiger in the bed mostly dream of goats with chicken brains and the character of the suckle.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №64392
 19.05.2012
The story of Vladislav III from the interview:
The present generation has all the opportunities to see the world. The Soviet regime was much tougher. It was believed that during the world championship you should only train, and in your free time to sit in the room and adjust for upcoming matches. In other words, why did they take you to the world championship? There was no talk about going to the store. First, all dependent daily in the currency was issued on the last day of the tournament, when time to run and buy some imported equipment was left in circumcision. And in the course of the championship Tarasov, seeing that the hockey players went to some point of sale, could "under the mood" and send home. With me here in Sweden, this story hardly happened.
In 1969, CSKA came to the collection in the city of Mora. I am a green 17-year-old boy, just got into the team. And next to the ice arena was a sports clothing store. Everything is so beautiful, so overseas. My eyes looked at the window. One evening, I and Tolstoy went to breathe the air. He says, “Let’s go in. There’s no money, so we’ll see.” I was frightened to answer, “Will Tarasov suddenly see?” “He’s been sleeping a long time.” We entered, enviously watching the stand with hockey equipment. And as soon as five minutes later Anatoly Vladimirovich appears in the door!
I was terrified at the time: I think it was the end of my career at CSKA. Swinging into the corner, he tried to hide behind the mannequin, which was three times thinner. Fortunately, Tarantino was in a good mood. In the store, we had already found Viculov and Polipanov. The older players were given Swedish crowns. The coach approaches the guys with a smile and says, “Are you appreciating?” The sports costumes are hanging. In them, your crosses and loads will be borne with great pleasure. One problem, very expensive. Two hundred crowns.”
Tarasov only asked Vikulov and Polupanov: "Will you take for a hundred? I will agree in a moment.” Calls the owner of the store, makes an important face and fingers in the chest: "I am Tarasov." And that fan turned out to be, the enthusiasm began, bowling in the belt, jumping around. “Sir, you have any discounts.” I bought Anatoly Vladimirovich costumes and only then noticed me. By that time, I recovered from fear and ate the goalkeeper’s mask with my eyes. Comfortable with a bar. At that time, we had helmets close to the face. Playing in them, constantly suffered from cracks, bruises, the need to apply seams. Tarasov approaches and asks, “Do you like it, young man?” “I like something, but no money.” “We take it for free.” Calls the owner and explains, “This is the future superstar. He will be the best goalkeeper on the planet.”
The most funny thing is in pure Russian. But the seller still understood that we would not give him Swedish crowns (smiles). I packed everything, gave a gift. Tarasov also entered the rage so that, leaving the store, a foldable chair grabbed that stood at the door. It says, “Fishing is the most important thing.”

[ + 67 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64391
 19.05.2012
At the place of sale a sign:
1 strawberry - 13 hryvnia
3 strawberries - 40 hryvnia
The buyer:
Give me one strawberries.
Pay 13 hryvnia, take the strawberries. This is repeated twice again.
The buyer:
"I bought three watermelons from you for 39 hryvnia, although it is written that you sell them for 40. How stupid you are!
The Merchant:
- And so all the time... They take three watermelons and teach me how to trade properly!

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