bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113633
 19.05.2015
To the shit about which pants to put a member:
I’d fool your problems! I don’t have to pull my pants up until t_t (((
________________________________________________________
I have those modest rapers.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №113632
 19.05.2015
xxx: Yes, stop, no one has ever seen a real man, out, on any forum announce the topic of "real man" - half of the forum members will be overwhelmed, describing qualities.
A prince with a white horse can be seen in any bar after 21:00, but keep in mind that the white horse is whiskey.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №113631
 19.05.2015
Did you go to Yaroslavl by car?
YYYY: Yes
Do you remember how much time to travel?
Yyy: Mm... In the morning at 9 o’clock we left, at 18 like we arrived.
XXX What? 230 km in nine hours. Was it in the car?
Yyy: Well maybe less, I didn’t drive with faulty brakes

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113630
 19.05.2015
We need your clothes and your motorcycle.
Leave the cosmetics.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №113629
 19.05.2015
From burn miumau, discussion of school harassment, comment:
“There was a boy in our school who was quietly clinging to the girls from behind, and clamping his nose with one hand and his mouth with the other, and rubbing like a horse. Until one girl stumbled in his hand. He did not do so anymore.
and Leningrad. from 1985.”

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №113628
 19.05.2015
by Swanni:
We went with Andreuka around the city to walk before a trip to Karelia, says: "Let's go to the post office what memorial cards we can buy." They came: caterpillar, sauces different, pasta, all sorts of scanwords, grandmothers standing behind the commonplace, and a postcard nailed, and envelopes so. Give and go on. So if you need to go, then in the mail provide this service and absolutely free.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №113627
 19.05.2015
by Genby:
Ministry of Sport of the Russian Federation:
There are no Russian hockey players in the area of the World Championship final.
The form of the Russian national team can be purchased in any sports store;
Such names are not on the list;
They are Russian citizens, but not hockey players.
These are volunteers who went to the Czech Republic on the call of their hearts, we didn’t hide it.”

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №113626
 19.05.2015
I did not resist:
I watched Rambo-1 in the sound of a woman. It was a gesture. She called it "reinbow" and translated as "rainbow". The rays fucking! It was beyond good and evil.

John is radiant. Now 20 percent better.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №113625
 19.05.2015
XXX: I handed down documents for temporary registration in the MFC, I and 5 children. The employee saw the stack and in shock to the whole hall: "Daddy, that is, I will be filling the papers all day!" I was somehow uncomfortable.
My husband for 7 children handed down documents. It started at 18:00 and ended at 21.30. The Three. He is an employee of the MFC and a guard.
By this point, they already knew how many children there were in the family of the mother of the employee of the MFC and how the security guard is protected.
ZZZ: We also learned what benefits Arshavin and other Zenit players have. We only have four...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №113624
 19.05.2015
Service in the army of the Russian Federation will help you. I am not joking. After such parents, you will be there.
and ‘home of birth’, and fathers-commanders, and brothers-servants. Early Retirement and Housing
of States.
_______________________________________________________
Comrade of the military, we all understand, you have a plan for the contractors, fuck from above, but you cannot do so, you must have at least something holy (well, except the charter) to remain.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №113623
 19.05.2015
We sit and eat dinner. Anya Canyon:
My stomach hurts.
I am angry:
You take all the shit in your mouth!! to
Without lifting the eye from the plate:
In fact, you are preparing it.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №113622
 19.05.2015
One day I was in the subway, and my old phone was taken by a friend. It broke her. In general, I turn on the music on my first, then get the one that I go, check and notice that there is a SIM inside. The phone of my ex-wife. When she bought a new one, she didn’t even pull out the simka. In the new micro already was, and this is the usual. I pull out this simka, break it and throw it into the package, then I begin to format it and notice a keen look of the man in front of me. Such contempt in the eyes I have not seen yet))) from his side it looked like I lost the phone or found and I am not going to return))

If you are reading this, know that it’s not so bad.


[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113621
 19.05.2015
In the Stavropol region for debts arrested a cat
and...
To whom is the tail owed?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №113620
 19.05.2015
Amazing in the main:

The CHC:
My neighbor died of cancer a year ago. His wife recently arrived, asking to send a death certificate to the FASP (the financial agency for collecting payments), so that the collectors would fall behind her. The deceased man owed Sberbank thirty points. Hello Generation of Dolls!
and----
You are the deceased, and you are the deceased. Banko-to on the drum, died – not died. Debt does not disappear, but passes with inheritance. And the bank will wait a couple of years for the interest and pennies to be raised more, and then file a lawsuit. Then they will come and take out the headquarters, and you will still have to stay. Or it is necessary to write a refusal of inheritance to the relevant bodies - but for the sake of thirty points from a portion of the living space, for example, to refuse - it is somehow strange. Legal illiteracy is striking.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113619
 19.05.2015
Today in the women's toilet of the clinic: painted windows from the bottle (so that they don't look out from the street) and the label of the window company: "We make the windows transparent."

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №113618
 19.05.2015
I need to drink tea too.
NNN: If you drink, then watermelons
You can call me a damned conservative, but tea is better to drink with your mouth.

[ + 33 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №113617
 19.05.2015
XXX: Is there any magic method to do no more than 30 minutes a day of exercise, and not to change the mayonnaise cake for salad leaves?

YYY: cancel the elevator, walk longer, at least 30 minutes
Leave a low-calorie diet (exclude bread, cereals, potatoes), leave a strawberries-agurk-tomates. There is no need for alcohol (but it doesn’t go anywhere). Replace it with cocaine or grass.
The infographic wagon.

Fuck you are a dietitian.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113616
 19.05.2015
I would like to live in Penza. I don’t know why, but I love such provincial, medium-sized, ugly cities. The proper name is Penny. Here you come out of the house. You look at all this beauty from parking spaces, advertisements and dams, and you think, “Full Penny!”

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113615
 19.05.2015
I remember when I was still working in the brave civil aviation, and just introduced the rule that employees go to work not through a separate passage, but on a general basis through the introscope, there were various funny cases, here's just the topic of the note.
I mean, we come in at night. Then a friend from the neighboring service had a son. He is just with us. Of course, he carries it with him. A Aunt from Saba (the Aviation Safety Service) (and I will reveal to you all one big secret, the Saba recruits those who are unfit for IQs) means, and says to him, "What do you have in your bag?" "How is what? Vodka!" "So is it not!""How can it not? You can" all, there were no more questions :)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113614
 19.05.2015
<gohdan> you sit here and Kaspersky has released a free antivirus
<gohdan> a, fucking, he does not cure

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