bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №150300
 19.05.2018
I bought weights in the bathroom. Now I always know exactly how bad I am.

Oh the precision! You weigh before, you weigh after, you weigh after, you deduct – you are ready.

Yes, it is even easier.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №150299
 19.05.2018
Last night I went to the bathroom, and there was wet, water on the ankle.

I remove the curtain, I see that the cranes are broken and the water cannot be closed.

In this second I understand everything: that you will have to pay the sanitary, there will be an offensive bill for water, all the neighbors up to the first floor will be flooded.

And this awareness scares me. I recover and wake up. Honestly, I’m so glad that it’s just a dream, I’ve never been.

It is at such moments that you realize that you are already an adult.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №150298
 19.05.2018
The year 2010. Good acquaintances moved to PMZ abroad. Finally, while I was available, I was ordered a photo session of my family – parents, daughter and son. In some part of the shooting, he made silhouettes, asking his father to kiss his daughter, age 6. He refused to incite the anger of the pedophiles. I was stunned by my father’s fear. I pretended to understand his phobia and continued to film. Later, I shared this misunderstanding. And what do you think, one woman was convinced that my dad skillfully hid his pedophile nature from me. In the Ohio. and twice.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №150297
 19.05.2018
There are a lot of stories when a taxi driver forgot to follow with a customer at the specified address and just went where he needed. So here is one story of a friend, the end was unexpected for all the characters of this event. One weekend, after a lot of drinks, a friend decided to order a taxi and go home. Everything was as appropriate arrived a taxi driver (in a personal car) and went. In a few minutes, two people: a taxi driver and a friend had different life events. Story 1 (friend): I wake up in some car, maybe with whom I drank I don't remember, I try to get out, the doors are closed, well I opened the door from the salon, I go out, the alarm sounds. He thinks I’ll wait, smoke, there’s a guy flying on me and begins to bump... Story 2 (taxi driver): worked the second day, very tired, went home to sleep, my girlfriend wakes up at night and says your car is opened (our food), well, I’ve flown out. Two unfortunate people met. It is unclear after how long they realized what connected them.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №150296
 19.05.2018
We somehow in the yard could not agree on how to divide, because we were an uneven number. But here came the bomzh (clothes torn and dirty, hair planted and folded, the roof swollen) and asked for fifteen rubles for beer (2003). They said to him, “You stand at the gate, if you play well, we will buy you a bottle of port wine.” Gianluigi Buffon and Peter Schmeichel are nervously smoking around the corner compared to this bomber. To pull out the "dead" balls, steep up in the folds... Except that on the sword did not sit. This is for a bottle of baggage, not five lams of euro.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №150295
 19.05.2018
Sometimes you don’t want to do anything so much that you don’t even want to do anything.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №150294
 19.05.2018
Following yesterday's story No. 948596 about the Bark Night. I didn’t think it would interest anyone, but the comments inspired me.
My friend has a familiar Nina. There was a period when she realized that the name was somehow not Feng Shui. She replaced him with Olga. A few years later, she changed her mind and returned the “girl name.”
But the nickname “Olenina” remains to this day.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №150293
 19.05.2018
A whole generation of Russians have grown up who have not seen the real lush Kremlin funerals.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №150292
 19.05.2018
The Russian father went to Ethiopia, to the Orthodox.

In the temple there, of course, all the fathers are black, the parishioners too. The white father is looked at with uncovered suspicion.

The local father noticed this and, when presenting us to the parishioners, said:

You don’t see that he’s white, his soul is still black!

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