bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №118613
 19.09.2015
When I gave birth to Oleg, we didn’t have a car. My husband took me away from his work at the time. I don't know, from the Dmitry's maternity house took some newborn gastroenterologists? Wide-handed boys in working green-orange jackets with a modest (8-9 persons) company humbly complained in the hall of the nursery. When they brought the Olegka, the whole shobla joyfully rushed to meet. The nurse nervously pressed the child to her :lol:

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №118612
 19.09.2015
This is:

The most cruel childhood disappointment of literature
YYY : M?
Jules Verne: Jules Verne
XXX: The Mysterious Island
xxx: not given the exact proportions
The Nautilus?
XX: Nitroglycerin

He did it specifically.
To avoid experiments, these are young chemists.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №118611
 19.09.2015
X: Where can you meet when the company hasn’t seen you for 15 years? Not just eating and drinking.
A: In the board. You can also sneak there.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №118610
 19.09.2015
XHH: Nekromant, however, is more universal. He did not have time to heal - resurrected, alive yet - achieved and resurrected :-)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №118609
 19.09.2015
The son was in the hospital with arthritis for several months, eventually staying for the second year. The new class. I wait for my son with the younger ones in the hallway and ask, “Well, how? " - "Class - as a class..." - "What is the name of the boy with whom you were sitting?" - "I don't know". " Did you ask for it?!" - "No" " and why!" - "Because my level of success does not depend on the name of my party neighbor..."

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118608
 19.09.2015
Just a fact about me – from time to time I am persistently called Lennochka.
This is a very strange fact, because I am actually Katya.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №118607
 19.09.2015
Every post begins with the question "are you here?"
XXX: The Question

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №118606
 19.09.2015
Review of Fallout Shelter:

The room of genetic engineering is lacking! What would bring out their supermutants and opportunities to search and seize shelters of other players!

O Creator, make your way!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №118605
 19.09.2015
The Electricity:

Yesterday a half-day installed the entrance electric shield in the apartment, well, where wires, RFID, machines. Everyone was hit in the head while walking. I bought an imported, for internal installation, beautiful such, good. I installed it, and in the evening, after dinner, I sat down to watch a detective series. And there the criminalist, in order to determine the composition of the substance, swung the test tube in the same shield, only without machines. Closed the lid, and once on the compass the composition of the substance was determined. So what do I think... maybe the frog bittened me 2500 to pay for him? I bought a mass spectrometer for that money.

As the developer of the spectrometer, I will say: what only electric shields and old Soviet pharmacies as a body we have adapted... Life imitates art, lol.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №118604
 19.09.2015
xxx: (an anecdote about taking the fee for entrance to work)
Wow, what a joke that is! I have a boss (one who is the boss’s niece) in full seriousness (!) I asked for a loan!!To hire a babysitter!!!Who will be in my place!!! To help my wife with two young children, and I can at this time (!!!!!) Stay at work until night.
Q: No additional payments?
Tagged: Naturally

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №118603
 19.09.2015
The most cruel childhood disappointment of literature
YYY : M?
Jules Verne: Jules Verne
XXX: The Mysterious Island
xxx: not given the exact proportions
The Nautilus?
XX: Nitroglycerin

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №118602
 19.09.2015
Q: Do you remember I told you about my broken friend?
WOW: Well
HHH: So is it. The tortoise escaped!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №118601
 19.09.2015
My mom bought a breeding British cat with the prospect of breeding. Cotte grew up and demonstrated to everyone his concerned essence, he spoiled everything in a row: soft toys, clothes, bags, sofa pillows, fur-finished boots. And one day, on the first date, he was brought a cat in a cage - the same breed, he could be. From the smell and causing behavior of the woman's cat, Benjamin (cat) was very excited... and fucked the corner of the couch.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №118600
 19.09.2015
THERE, THERE... there
I read with Sheldon’s voice :)
That’s because I wrote with Sheldon’s voice!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №118599
 19.09.2015
What do you know about unpleasant situations?
I went out for a walk in the evening: the weather is good, sunset, the trees are yellowing, I am slowly running.
A young man stands under the barrel, admiring the sunset.
Looking back, I realize that this is the son of a good acquaintance and a mate of my child.
In his hand he holds what has grown in his pants and, looking at me with a smile, and without a drop of confusion, continues to manipulate this organ.
No porn man needs.


[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №118598
 19.09.2015
Why are refugees coming to Germany? Soon in October.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №118597
 19.09.2015
Author of this statement:

So yes, for 71,600 rubles. My direct (excluding indirect) taxes include at least two civil servants or three pensioners.

In what reality are you living?
Which pensioner has a pension of more than 20,000? Are you embarrassed?
Most of my acquaintances have 7-8 thousand, if lucky, then 10. That is why they work to the last, because for this money not to live, but to die of hunger.
In the summer, the acquaintance retired, worked for more than 30 years, will receive 7 thousand,.
I saw in the pension fund a woman who learned in tears that she would be given as much as 4,600.
Not funny!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №118596
 19.09.2015
There are such words that are quite usable in ancient sources and in modern speech, but at the same time the difference in their meaning is so great that it can create a comic effect. When in the twelfth century the rebellious Kievans pronounce “not if it were an axe in the ass,” they mean by no means a known part of the human body and not even their evil position, as the modern reader would think, but they declare a reluctance to turn into hereditary possession, transferred from one prince from the Olgovich family to another. Ancient Russian "shoulder" is nothing more than a quite correct legal term, meaning inheritance or property subject to inheritance, a term used not only in chronicles, but also in legislative collections, for example in Russian Truth.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №118595
 19.09.2015
We paid twice as much for the Mistral, and now the euro has grown and we got back twice as much rubles.

These fools rule the country.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №118594
 19.09.2015
The Comrade!
Didn't you give up early and look at the Hobbit?
Are they going to shoot Silmarillion? How are you without the prehistory of all things?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna