bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №54295
 02.10.2011
I told a friend about my cat.
On my belt, the ends of the teeth have disappeared somewhere. Well, I didn’t think long, the ends of the knots tied that they didn’t go inside. And while I’m not at home, my cat plays with these knots and unbinds. Every time I have to tie it up again.
I would like to give her headphones before she goes to work :)))

2 days later.
Remember I told you about my cat’s abilities?
Well what?
- She fucking turns out not to disconnect them, but to chew them off. Today I noticed that the length of the tassel is not enough, the ends do not coincide :(

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №54294
 02.10.2011
Here someone said that if Sasmung patented the method of talking on the phone by applying it to the ear, then Apple would present a revolutionary way of speaking with another hole.

iPhone 4S = iPhone for ES = iPhone for ass
Think differently!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №54293
 02.10.2011
I would tell you a joke about my member, but it’s too long.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №54292
 02.10.2011
xxx: Yeah, I suppose... "we broke up because of the breasts... – she didn’t have breasts? - No, they were, but I also... on the phone... not her..."

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №54291
 02.10.2011
When asked “What have you achieved in life?” the American retiree answers.
Chinese pensioner – “a lot of children and grandchildren”, and Russian pensioner – “retirement age”.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №54290
 02.10.2011
8 What Can Cancer Eat?
Yyy to Padal.
XXX is in the water. Probably a sting there.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №54289
 02.10.2011
I go in the Moscow-Abakan train with a laptop, stop Novosibirsk-Glavny at 5 am, at 4 a.m. a conductor wakes everyone up, I get out, I look, the train is late for an hour, well, I got a notepad, I sit and watch a movie, a guy of 20 years of age descends from the top shelf and begins to look at me, then climbs to the 3rd shelf, gets the bag, from there the laptop and only then calms.

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №54288
 02.10.2011
From one very famous group. Commentary on the photo:

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! We are!! to
It is "Obeim" that is right! Both of you would be in the gay club.

[ + 54 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №54287
 02.10.2011
It’s been 2.5 years since I started, gentlemen, please give speed.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №54286
 02.10.2011
Thank you for copying the nonsense someone added here to Wikipedia. This helps to quickly find it in Wikipedia itself and remove it from there.

Only a few geniuses, having read the nonsense here and not finding it in Wikipedia, add it for the second and third time, but it is found faster.

With gratitude,
Admin of Wikipedia

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №54285
 02.10.2011
Thrawn: Open the port, say "ping"

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №54284
 02.10.2011
And a comrade told me how he drove his wife to swim with dolphins in Sri Lanka, she had long dreamed of it. What happened there didn’t like neither him nor his wife. Two healthy dolphins with erected (see 40) members were very ambiguously interested in the female sex, and in a semi-aggressive form, like a game, but painfully ambiguous. When my comrade also asked to swim, the servants, looking at him strangely, categorically refused. Only women swim. So the decent young woman became one dream less.

[ + 42 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №54283
 02.10.2011
to the word about the comparison of cat and horse power.many will fall but in the horse itself 12l / s so this is the case)

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №54282
 02.10.2011
I continue to protect from the current children.
We visited, there in the family a girl 9 years old and parents, so to speak, very free. Nothing from the boy is hidden) It is apparent that they had a thorough conversation with Davich on the topic of "where the children come from" and other near-dark discussions. So they apparently intimidated the child so that it did not start adult life before time, talking about the pain at the first time and how unpleasant it is.
The girl approaches me and says:
Is it really painful for children to do it the first time?
Usually for girls for the first time.
And for the boys?
No is
I will try to make him hurt too.

[ + 74 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №54281
 02.10.2011
Poor you, unhappy, you get up at 6 in the morning in order to get to the office on time and until the evening there, fighting with someone for air conditioning. I get up at 6 o’clock in the evening in Heracles 3 km on foot to work there 14 hours I throw sparkle coal on the boiler... And the main thing is that all this is in the far north, in Yakutia, where you do not need to have a conditioner and experience;

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №54280
 02.10.2011
I found a brown pixel (
Which is the case? 😉
Tagged: fucking

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №54279
 02.10.2011
From Contact:

The Golden Rules of the Translator

Number 1 x %*
Number 2 in p%&du
No. 3 of us

Commentary

Rule number one. It is used when there are difficulties in choosing the most appropriate unit for the context of a synonymous series. Very efficient in terms of saving time.

Rule number two. It is indispensable if the word or part of the sentence is not translatable, and also (especially) if the proposal is translated, but at the end there is something that threatens to change the meaning of all the previously translated sentence, and in some cases the text (this is usually encountered by the most talented translators who do the job without reading the entire text).

And finally Rule 3. It is used to solve various kinds of dilemmas, doubts, mismatches and semantic conflicts arising as a result of the application of Rules No. 1 and No. 2.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №54278
 02.10.2011
It is impossible not to write:
According to rumors, pop-up actors come up with their pseudonyms on the principle:The name is the nickname of the first pet.The family is the name of the first street of residence.

Evgeny Turov
of Lenin 😉

by Kononenko
Thora Lermontova =>

Natalia Ivanova
Do I mean solidarity?? to

Aliss
And I am, fucking, the button of Gagarin... :' ((

- You will not come up with: Cheburaška of the Moika River...

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №54277
 02.10.2011
I told a friend how at our conference banquet the Japanese professor sat behind the shock set and with the words "I was fascinated with rock music in my youth" began to play - very majestically!
comments killed - "good that he was not interested in hentai.."))

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №54276
 02.10.2011
On YouTube, a video on how to correctly pump the press - shows a well-pumped burning man, and a commentary that has more than 6000 pluses:
I swear I saw this guy on the porn hub!
I know where the plus comes from ;-)

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