bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №153093
 02.10.2019
My wife and I go to a colleague’s birthday. As usual, everything at the last minute and we only ran for the gift in the morning. After a little curious at work, I decided he needed a belt or lift ( maybe just a little weight gain). I bought this and that.



We run in panic, we go. A woman, like a fire extinguisher, watered the curled hair with lacquer. I try to clean my jacket from white cat wool. The cat looks at me and says I’m not going to do anything.



We are dressed and we are at the door. Check if you have forgotten a gift. There is. The documents? There is. The keys? I took. The phone? ? to



We start looking for the phone. To make it faster, the wife catches my and taps the number, which is signed “Love”. A few seconds later, the girl calls: “Allo.” My wife’s eyes should have been seen. Maybe my eyes too.



A hysterical woman closes in the bathroom. I try to explain something to her. The cat, sitting in the same place, with a glance says that I will not get anything out.



In shock, I call back “Love” by contact. Indeed, a pleasant female voice responds:



– Wait, don’t throw the phone, I found this phone in our store, and I don’t know the unlock code. Come and take. The girl prototyped.



Somehow, through the closed door, and the female screams I managed to justify. Now, the main task is to make makeup again and try not to be late. The cat’s eyes say we’re not going to do anything.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №153092
 02.10.2019
The agenda came to a young man in the military. A few years ago, he lost his leg and was installed a prothesis. He passes through the offices. The ophthalmologist has no complaints, the psychiatrist has no complaints, Laura too. Everyone puts a year. Go to the therapist:

Dress up for inspection.

Should the prothesis be filmed?

What kind of protection?? to

I have a prothesis instead of my right leg.

and???? to

This examination was completed and it was no longer called.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №153091
 02.10.2019
I went with my husband and son to a resort in Greece. My son, a 5 year old energetizer, managed to get me and my husband into a state of neumonos with his activity. Remove the hand, say the territory closed, everything as safe as possible, let it be worn by itself. And he did not stop for a second!

He runs.

“Mom, you know, I’m tired and I want to rest.

"I wrap my eyes in ecstasy - did I wait?"

I’m going to jump on the tramp!

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №153090
 02.10.2019
XXX: That is something else. My grandfather bought a small castle in Germany. The money he earned when he 5 times in a row fell 13 red, which his grandfather placed in Las Vegas, where he flew for a deposit, which he multiplied by making bets according to the forecasts from a telegram, from the tenth he found on the floor in the synagogue.

YYY: The tenth in the synagogue, I think it’s here that he told you.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №153089
 02.10.2019
A traitor’s favorite occupation is to call other traitors traitors.

[ + 10 - ] Comment quote №153088
 02.10.2019
The Moldovan Chess
(The Chess Squad: The Continuation)
https://www.anekdot.ru/id/1047907/

I went to Chisinau for a big competition. With his coach, known in chess circles as the grandmaster. In their free hours, they walked through the city boulevards, discussing the strategies of the ancient game.
And they see such a picture: in the church garden, a crowd of parishioners gathered around the table, and at the table, the pop in a row plays chess for money. With all those wishing. The bet

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №153087
 02.10.2019
The Zoo Defenders:
Why do you need natural fur coats? Can you wear synthetic?
The environmental activists:
Are you fucking? This shirt will break down for 500 years.

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