bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104954
 02.11.2014
The Tiger's crossing even through a small stream was a headache for the Panzerwaffe, and if you take into account the saturation of the European part of the USSR with rivers, rivers and streams with swamped shores, the promotion of tigers turned into a real nightmare. Automotive bridges of that time such a weight as the Tiger did not often withstand, so to transport at least one Tiger, somewhere near Smolensk through the river is necessary:
1st To repel the Russian train station, necessarily with high platforms (a great rarity) on the same shore.
2nd Find six-axis platforms, one for each tank.
Three Demonstrate the right and left section of the hikes and replace the combat hikes with transport.
4 is Find a crane for disassembly.
5 is Load the fighting goats on the trucks, one for each, since this fool in the amount of two German opels were not pulled out.
6 is Drive the tank to the platform.
7 is Do operations 1-6 with the rest of the tanks - in total for each tank one platform, and two trucks.
8 is Drive the railway through the river (taking into account the activity of the guerrillas in putting the trains under control).
9 is To find and rebuild the Russian station with a high platform on the other shore.
10 is Repeat operations 6-1 in reverse sequence.
11 is To weep over the fact that the Russians 34 amusedly jumped over the rails 4-5 meters wide or waved over the sapphire bridges quickly erected from sublime materials.
I am surprised by German pedantry, accuracy and the complete absence of non-standard and flexible thinking.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №104953
 02.11.2014
In six months, my wife will be happy.
did not argue

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №104952
 02.11.2014
And Dmitry Anatolyevich, probably, how uncomfortable now, with an iPhone.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №104951
 02.11.2014
The Sunday Prayer.
The dog says:"Gave!"
The cow says:"Mouu!"
The cat says:"Maya!"
Father says:"Blue..."

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №104950
 02.11.2014
X: The movie I watched
X: There is a huge plane flying
X: with several hundred passengers
X: and pilot of the aircraft
X: Sean Bin
X: I worry about the passengers.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104949
 02.11.2014
It is worse. For example, Pushkin did not mention the age of Tatiana in the text itself, only mentioned somewhere in the correspondence that he was sixteen. However, he carelessly turned into thoughtfulness the turn about the Peter's charms, in the context of which the abstract "thirteen-year-old girl" was mentioned. It, in principle, with thirteen or fourteen daughters and began to be taken for all kinds of techniques, with Pushkin it is all logical. But some of the internet lovers on this subject felt like under the thirteenth-year-old girl meant Tatiana - the ways of the glutes are untold, and attempts to pretend logically that if the older sister is thirteen, then the younger could not wash up already married, were ignored. On this topic, the glucologists raced a bunch of insightful reasoning to Pushkin that Onegin de rejected Tatiana, because she was thirteen years old, and he was not a pedophile, and then met the teenager and, accordingly, penetrated. To pretend, why then this nepedophile showed bullying signs of attention to Olga, who, it turns out, was a child in the most literal sense (and not in the sense of infantilism of Pushkin's "spirituality") - again irrelevant.
After such confusing the age of Raskolnikov's mother with the age of the old lady-percent - it's still flowers)))

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104948
 02.11.2014
When I see in the quote the words "woman", "aunt", "baby" and the like, I immediately attribute the age of the author to the category "up to twenty-one".
Whether by age or by intelligence – it doesn’t matter!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104947
 02.11.2014
See Doctor Who. A man on a Russian submarine secretly unfreezes the ice sheet with a frozen nest.
Why does he do it?
He wants to spoil.
He doesn’t know what it is, but he wants to steal it. Very Russian.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104946
 02.11.2014
Gomez: There was an interview here one... Such a typical “young but rapidly developing company”... The girl, having viewed the print of my resume and having received comments to my regalias, grumbles satisfied and begins to talk about the order of the company. Delays are unacceptable. Free coffee and cookies (Wow, I will finally survive...) The salary is not very high, but people are golden. We end at 19, but usually nobody looks at it, because everyone is highly self-motivated and sometimes works even on weekends.
Gomez: But here we have the programming department and they even hang a poster...
Gomez: And then I was frightened to assume: "Arbeit macht frei"? ("Work is free")

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104945
 02.11.2014
All of this relates only to work on an uncle or through an intermediary (a publisher, for example), and many honestly earn money and directly, not within these three types. So "Gratulations to you, citizen, sovramshy".
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re
Well yes yes yes. There is a friend, a construction firm he has (and not one), which does not build anything, but serves to wash the bubble from municipal orders. A large house, a few cars, everything. Outwardly, he is a successful businessman. In the minute of revelation: “I’m just walking and waiting for me to be planted.” The property of the relatives is registered. Though yes, man "knows how to earn".

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №104944
 02.11.2014
This is:

He studied in our class one man, healthy, but the most two-year-old, second-year-old, on the lessons constantly hit, smoked there, the money of the children tires and all that. In short, by school standards - a negative character. And here, a few years after graduating from school (I just finished the institute) accidentally met him at the railway platform. Are you an alcoholic and an alcoholic? Fuck it there. Sergeant of the militia.
_____

Did you expect him to recover?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №104943
 02.11.2014
Ma'k-ro-fi-li is from his own about-time forms of ma'k-hiz. You are in the same place that you are in the same place that you are in the same place that you are in the same place.
Do you have this or not?
“By the burning of the burning of the burning of the burning of the burning of the burning of the burning of the burning of the burning of the burning of the burning of the burning of the burning of the burning of the burning of the burning of the burning of the burning.” Eat from them, and do not eat from them. If they eat, they do not eat, you do not eat, you do not eat.

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104942
 02.11.2014
"the offer is not an official offer" - in public Russian language - "we fuck you!" )))

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №104941
 02.11.2014
Man is a social animal. And that’s what made him the most successful organism in his class. No predator stands against the tribe of men. The tribe needs their support. Feed the useless old people, they will teach you what you do not know. To contain painful children - will come up with such, fire, for example, to use. Interestingly, societies with eugenic preferences have not survived to our days.
But here are the examples you wanted: Da Vinci and Isaac Newton were born premature. Kant is painful from birth. Helmholtz was born with a watermelon and spent his entire childhood in bed. Julius Caesar and Fyodor Dostoevsky are epileptics. Einstein, Goethe, Diesel, Dickens had all the signs of schizoid psychopathy.
----------------------
This is really a great answer. Reasonable and neutral. There is nothing to ask or add to this.
The reaction of the female was also expected :)

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104940
 02.11.2014
Patriots from the Star TV channel on the occasion of the holiday painted the logo in red, white and blue colors. Like the Dutch flag. Not as in Russian.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104939
 02.11.2014
He studied in our class one man, healthy, but the most two-year-old, second-year-old, on the lessons constantly hit, smoked there, the money of the children tires and all that. In short, by school standards - a negative character. And here, a few years after graduating from school (I just finished the institute) accidentally met him at the railway platform. Are you an alcoholic and an alcoholic? Fuck it there. Sergeant of the militia.

[ + 25 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104938
 02.11.2014
> I like that
I like it! What does it do to me? I like it!!! to
Learn, fucking at last, this is it!! to
Not the resistance of materials, your mother!

Tagged with ><

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104937
 02.11.2014
When my pets catch me, it’s enough to ask the cat, “Who sucked me?And the dog says, “Let’s go swim?” and half a day they can’t be found.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №104936
 02.11.2014
Again the boss :)
He complained and burned.
The salary must be worked out, if I pay the money, I will control it.
To this the harsh Chelyabinsk workers said:
- the salary is paid by the state, and you in this chain are an extra link, rejoice that we generally build something for a penny.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104935
 02.11.2014
Iponia is the land of small horses in an apple.

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