bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №43888
 02.03.2011
Comment to the news about the accident involving the foreigner and grandmother:

I saw her news. I just mean that my grandmother was probably going at the same speed. The guy turned, and the grandmother was frightened and gained speed =)) We had a case when in the depot worked, so the grandmother on the pedestrian on the red broke. A stranger looks at her. Well she and the slug straight under the trolleybus x)))) The trolleybus driver was scared, on the brakes. has gone out. The baby comes out from behind the trail. So the grandmothers are so unpredictable.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №43887
 02.03.2011
I bought you a straw yesterday, today he died. Doctors say from old age; of course, if he were young, he would have escaped from KAMAZ. Qwerty

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №43886
 02.03.2011
Sammy: <X-traz> Engage in love and not war.
Jack is right!
They beat black people in Moscow.
Jack: Do you offer to fuck them? :D

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №43885
 02.03.2011
Drone: Pizzetz, today it was boring at the frizzle, so we played in the snake. A bunch of column students runs through the hall, collecting disassembled chips-cones and after each such chip, another fifth person joins this bunch... They finished playing when the students finished. Prepod promised to repeat the game next time... >_<

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №43884
 02.03.2011
On March 1, I watched the broadcast of Galileo. A story about Italian dishes. The voice after the picture confidently stated that Edam cheese is not for this salad, but it is better to put Mozarella from beef milk.
Take zoology back to school.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №43883
 02.03.2011
Let’s get married " Let’s get married"

The bridegroom commented on the other bridegroom:
He has no male beginning.

The main thing is the man’s end!

I am: Mom!!!))))))

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №43882
 02.03.2011
I go out for a walk with the dog.At the entrance there is a hibzdzhnik, a friend of Romka from the second floor. The dog, naturally, laughs at him, I feel:"Dush, fu!Do not touch the internal organs!"

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №43881
 02.03.2011
From the discussion of the Egyptian events on Lente.ru
xxx:... for example, the Great French Revolution of 1789 and similar ones, when the democratic system was established. ...
Yyy: As a result of the French Revolution, the Jacobian dictatorship was established, and then the dictatorship of General Bonaparte. Specifically, which of these regimes do you call democratic?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №43880
 02.03.2011
The power is the faithful servant of the people, but it steals a lot.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №43879
 02.03.2011
The Clash of Civilizations
My college friend bought a house with a plot under Peter.
The house is large, beautiful, two-storey with a loft, but very old - it has not smelled repair for forty years.
At the family council it was decided to invest a bunch of money, but to make a huge chocolate candy from the house...
They studied the construction prospectus and concluded that the roof should be personally covered by the living Finns, somehow with their nano-technological megashiffer.
Expensive, but half a century of Finnish guarantee also means something, because the rain in
Peter is a permanent state of heaven.
Parallel, hired a brigade easier: three people from the Russian depth
- for insulation, sewing and everything there, breaking out old floors, in a word - all but the roof.
At the appointed hour, a huge truck arrived at the house, unloaded a shiffer, tools, foods, bottles of drinking water, a bio-toilet and two sick Finns.
The masters inspected the house, counted, threw and announced to my friend:
“Come in exactly a week, the roof will be ready.”
Then they quickly consulted with each other in Finnish and with anxiety in the voice added: "In any case, come in a week not earlier than two o'clock in the day, so that we will definitely have time..."
Thro the week, the Finns went down from the roof only to visit their bio-toilets. There was no special dialogue with the Russian brigade – the language barrier, and not at all – every second is recorded.
Finally came the long-awaited day when my friend and family, burning out of impatience, just at two came to take the roof.
The Finns minute by minute, not only had time to splash 12 shirtes of urticaria for the siblings, but also to remove each tick behind them. They washed and dusted the whole roof where they lived. Not only: the owners were presented with a large box of candy and a bottle of wine, in honor of the birthday of the new roof.
My friend was stunned by the quality and speed of the Finns’ work, and equally – by the diligence of our brigade, which, besides, today was not.
They asked for a holiday. The unhappy owner walked around the house, rehearsing his mother’s speech for tomorrow’s meeting with the brigade, bending his fingers with shortcomings. (It was best for these men to find problems that needed unplanned, but urgent financial inputs.)
After the Finns arrived the car they drowned and finally gave my friend a package:
Transmit this to your guests and apologize for us for disturbing them.
to sleep...
(In the package were the same candy and wine)
Which guests were disturbed?
The Finns:
Those three people who stayed here.
We woke up at five in the morning, whispered and knocked the hammer until late at night. The poor slept for an hour. But the guys of the world, we were not offended, even vodka to drink called. We would drink with them if it wasn’t work.
Sometimes we also helped them when their wheelchair or volleyball ball flew to us on the roof.
By the way, your guests did not sunbath all the days, and even something on the farm.
You were made here: saucers mowed, piled. Send them a greeting from us. They didn’t let us miss, they did a show.

The unfortunate Finns lost the ability to move for ten minutes, even their buttocks hanged, when the master, after a long pause, revealed to them the terrible secret that those guys, at all not friends, not even relatives, but the same wage workers and "rest" they were about the same salary.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №43878
 02.03.2011
A man came to take his wife from the nursery, the wife goes out on the doorstep, the nurse carries the baby and says:
Their child?
The man is indecisive:
My blanket...

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №43877
 02.03.2011
xx - and I have a bark on my eye)))
There is nothing to look at under the shirt.
XX - Do you think it is from there?? to

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №43876
 02.03.2011
A single person is different from a married person in that he has all logs stored and automatic form filling is enabled.

[ + 122 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №43875
 02.03.2011
I may not be a photo model, and the breasts are no longer standing, even the brain can bear sometimes, but can someone better cook your favorite bread, give sweaters in the summer, post UG here and just love you!
Plush, plush, if not a pity that one man has read and understood how I love him, despite everything.
The myth.

[ + 131 - ] Comment quote №43874
 02.03.2011
I drove to the universe, painting with oil: the battle of the bus, going through the passage is not an option, because not every healthy person is able to. How I wander for two minutes and suddenly! I see what I could not hold back for a long time, just wild rust =))
In the middle of the bus on the extreme seat (at the passage) is sitting, such a... a gentle lady, gently speaking :D, who in the passage, as strange as it is, no part of the body hangs and does not spit out!!! She sits on herself, she folds her fingers on her chest, holds a bag, everything as usual, on her face an absolute stitch, no drops of excitement, experiences... But here the guy who sat next to her (at the window) was almost crushed, the eyes were large, round, full of grief, pity and despair, the limbs were messy, apparently fixed since the moment of landing of the lady :DD In the end killed the phrase of this poor man, scratched, judging by him, with his left hand on the glass (in other words): Fuck! by HELP! :DDDD

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №43873
 02.03.2011
I scream from the room:
Dad, I thought here...
Do not scream!! to

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №43872
 02.03.2011
Case at work. I work in a bank (as a representative I sit in a store). The previous client had 2 children, although there is no mark on the passport and there is no mark on the family status. Remembering him, I ask the next client (The guy is young-high-beautiful, standing eyes build)
I: Do you have children?
Client: If I have to do it!! to

[ + 64 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №43871
 02.03.2011
Theme in the forum
Recently in our area became popular fireworks in large boxes, they are actively purchased, I became terribly wondering what they are cooking out of them? And what is it with?
Commentary
These are the guys for the cup "working of light bulbs" buy. And the fact that they look like this - so it's from fatigue and a lot of tension (from the fireworks of the palace to do terribly difficult)

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №43870
 02.03.2011
xxx: "to worship a military ship"
Go to Google Translate
HH: It will sound
Tagged with: "square"
Look at the course in the middle :)

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №43869
 02.03.2011
I spent a long time on one collective blog and until recently I was not interested in the rules, and then accidentally encountered them.

The first says:
andquot; 1 Don’t argue, we’re not in the kindergarten.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna