bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149455
 02.03.2018
Many people sit with an unfinished high school and think that a prince on a white horse will come and keep them, and they need nothing to do mean ladies without a higher education.

Well fuck you understand what you mean by “with an unfinished high school” you mean “with a graduated high school”. What kind of education do you need to get in order to start?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149454
 02.03.2018
Admin: The delays of the IP camera are divine...: Now I go into my office, I sit behind the computer and see on the screen as I approach the door.
I’m glad I don’t work at night.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149453
 02.03.2018
xxx: and Wolfowicz is aging... ten years ago he would have launched a Countess in Khushenka
yyy: did not give the graffiti...(

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №149452
 02.03.2018
My wife and I have an open marriage. There are no problems with watching the series. But sometimes we watch different series apart, and there’s nothing terrible about it. I think it only strengthens the family.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149451
 02.03.2018
This year, large grain harvests are expected in Texas, Oklahoma and Maryland.

In the Primitive

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №149450
 02.03.2018
xxx: When I started my career 15 years ago with Windows Server 2000, he told me, “The server is not inclined to process your request.” After NT4 it was too much. I didn’t expect the server to be configured.
yyy: "I am not in the mood", "I have a headache today" and other most popular problems in server administration...
PS in the light of the development of neural networks and AI - let's go back to this comment in twenty years

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №149449
 02.03.2018
<Natalia>At this time of year from perfume I prefer balsams "Star".

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149448
 02.03.2018
In the world of so much beautiful music, Beethoven even deaf managed to write amazing melodies, so why is the soundtrack for my life with envious constancy, becoming the work of the Leningrad group?! to

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №149447
 02.03.2018
The wife bought pills to get pregnant, or it does not work, but as long as she will sit at the computer until three nights, she will not get pregnant, at least from her husband. 9 to work.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №149446
 02.03.2018
There is a European race (not pale, but European), there is an Asian race (and this is not only those who live specifically in Asia, but also American Inuit and Indians) - it is logical that the third race is also called African in part of the world.

You confused something, my dear. There are races: European (not European), Mongoloid (not Asian) and Negroid (not African).

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №149445
 02.03.2018
On Valentine’s Day, he gave me a vibrator. I was a little upset at first, wanted romance, flowers... But after three orgasms in a row, I decided to fuck this romance))

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №149444
 02.03.2018
I love such statistics. I didn’t let go, I went to this site. Yes, all right, according to statistics with higher education 54% women and 46% men. Here is only one problem. According to the statistics of the entire population of Russia, the number of women is (who could have thought) 54%, men - 46%.

The results of the All-Russian Population Census 2010". For 1000 men over 15 years old, higher education is 211, for 1000 women over 15 years old - 242. A significant number of women with a secondary education in an organization, where all men with diplomas, will no longer work (except that there are some ladies working, and men are the director of the ACHR). More about school holidays, I believe. They just get the second highest. Yes, women care about their careers and study, and you don’t even know the difference between a ‘statist’ and a ‘statist’ with your ‘diploma’.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149443
 02.03.2018
I needed a text of the Bible.
Starting with the PlayMarket. And then the Bible demanded access to a notebook, calls, text messages, and a gallery.
I checked out and canceled the installation.
YYY: You will not go to heaven now.
Zzz: How else can God test your sincerity and purity of the soul. Suddenly you have in the gallery of photos of the necrophelial point, in the SMS messages I write about the orgy with his daughter in the valpurgy night, and in the contacts and all Azzsky Satan recorded

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149442
 02.03.2018
Fewer and fewer people and more and more “hello”.

[ + 60 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149441
 02.03.2018
My friend is an amateur numismatic. On e-Bay he bought from a Mexican a collection of Mexican coins of different times. The package, however, did not miss the Russian customs on the grounds that in Russia the transfer of cash is prohibited. Coins by mail. He was called or written, he came to the customs and spent a long time with them on every coin. He went to the internet from a laptop to the site of the Mexican central bank and showed customs officers which coins were removed from circulation (they were missed). Well, those with whom you can still pay, they covered up, because these are the rules. 2-3 hours it all continued, and the customs officers were quite correct and friendly, but they required compliance with the rules.

In the end, of several dozen sent coins, some have not been missed. They ordered them to send the mail back to the sender. He asked what address to write? The Customs? No, they say it’s stupid. Write your home. and OK.

After a few days, they call him from the post office and say: a young man, and you know in general that cash, including money. Coins cannot be sent by mail. Why are you sending them to Mexico? Come to us and take your package back, we do not have the right to send it back. Well, I came and sadly took the mail. I went home with him.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №149440
 02.03.2018
Trump decided to hand out guns to teachers.
The librarians will be given guns with silencers.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149439
 02.03.2018
She: I have a brilliant idea and while you are full and happy, I want to share it.
He is: No. I want to continue to be happy.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №149438
 02.03.2018
Here it all depends on what specific female specialist is meant. For example:
1) Secretary Maria Igorovna, she is forty-three years old, she translates into four languages, makes a schedule for the head and is in detail about what the organization is doing.
2) The Secretary of State. She’s nineteen, she’s a student-dinner, she’s working with us, she’s answering phone calls, and she’s watching that the cookies don’t end in the office. Bring us a cup of coffee.
3) And this is the Secretary of Mania. Manny has a beautiful ass and she fucking the boss in the lunch break. Nothing more is needed, so the rest of the time misses and paints the nails.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №149437
 02.03.2018
I work on cable TV. At the beginning of March, the antenna is seasonally lit - the channels disappear for a few minutes. And behind the window -20 and an unleashed butterfly.
The engineer comes: "The language did not turn to tell the subscriber that the channel did not work because of solar interference."

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