bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №66433
 02.07.2012
I can forgive the neighbors everything: repairs, loud sex, parties... But the passwords at all points of the Wi-Fi are wild publicity.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №66432
 02.07.2012
xxx: we have to play with the Spanish national team in hockey. self affirmed

[ + 29 - ] [18 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №66431
 02.07.2012
Date: decided to start home accounting.no Jews so often accepted.
I wrote this case confu on 1s and in the course of a month properly paid all that shit. calculated the costs for a month... half of the income went on gasoline and prostitutes.. need to change life.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №66430
 02.07.2012
XXX is
Why does a girl ask me if she’s beautiful or not?
YYYY
To tell you that you are beautiful
XXX is
I told her you would drink beer.
XXX is
Then he said it was a joke.
XXX is
But it was not a joke.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №66429
 02.07.2012
RT @Nett00n It’s good to live in a country where you tell an absurd political joke and you’re asked, “It’s a joke, right?”

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №66428
 02.07.2012
Just Hardcore!
Oh, I beg you. Your hardcore usually flows into some my-my.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №66427
 02.07.2012
Scene in the tram.
A Russian man of a tourist type, holding in his hands packages from shops "all three rubles" (but with a tired view of just buying half-shore boutiques on Croisette) reproaches his spouse:
We spent half a day without buying anything. Go to the Russian shop for peelings!
The teenage daughter of those who went through half a day, sadly looking out the tram window:
Let me go free...

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №66426
 02.07.2012
I went to the bank today.
The boy operator so insistently offered to help the children's sport by buying a lottery ticket for 20p that I agreed.
Children and even sports.
The boy even agreed to exchange 100p for me to have 20p for the ticket.
I bought a lottery ticket. You will win 40r.
In the end, the boy returned my 20p and another 20p from the box.
I never understood how I helped the children’s sport.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №66425
 02.07.2012
XXX: Did you see my website, the rainbow of emotions?
YYY: It seems to be.
XXX is AHA. Looking at the statistics, most of the people from Yandex come on the request: "but it was worth one time to fuck the sheep." I am in Ah.
Tagged: lol

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №66424
 02.07.2012
She: Well, how else did I have to tell you about this so that you didn’t consider me worried?
He: Don’t worry, dear, I know it.

[ + 42 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №66423
 02.07.2012
It was about three years ago. I go into the dean of our last Moscow innaze, and then the old dean recognizes me and says, Oh! The Family #! She is from Translavia-Zaleski.
I don’t hear it, I say, yes, from him.
He is so pleased - you have more boots there!
I say – where? What? Eeee...
He is so surprised - well shoes!
I wonder what kind of shoe?
He – You know what? And the shoe! The youth went! They do not know the history of their hometown. As soon as possible! And went away...
During this monologue I try to understand – and alleluia!!! So you’re talking about Botox? and him. The boat of Peter the First.
The Dean, yes yes! No matter the shoe or the shoe, it doesn’t matter.
I have no comments left.
That was the first time I thought about the correct choice of the UVA.

[ + 35 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №66422
 02.07.2012
At work, I was assigned a replacement worker, who in the application for the position wrote "the carpenter". Today issued a new laptop for us, the password - the word "seller" on the English layout. I am afraid that the guy will not be able to enter the system...

[ + 44 - ] [9 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №66421
 02.07.2012
Kotok13: How did Max's breath go?
DarkSam: What can I say? Be afraid of your wishes.
Q13: Did you ask for it?
DarkSam: he wanted a dog, even the name invented in advance - Killer. Now imagine: Max, 1.92 in height, walking in camouflage and chains, a tattoo on the entire shoulder, unbarred, in general you know. has presented?
Thread 13: Aha
DarkSam: It’s not even terrible that he got a Chihuahua gift... It’s terrible that he likes it! He called the dog Killer, abbreviated Killer. He walks now. Neighbors in shock.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №66420
 02.07.2012
Requirements for a note bag:

A very good bag – the accidentally crashed note in it from the delta plan right on the rock somewhere from a height of 100 meters (approximately) then slid down right onto the railways, which immediately passed the train. While landing, of course, took all the mates of the Russian language, but when he found his device was stunned, the note was in the dredges, and the bag was whole and unharmed!!! to
Excellent bag

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №66419
 02.07.2012
† (11:12:28 2/07/2012)
I was told I would stop scaring college students.
N (11:13:39 2/07/2012)
How do you scare them?
† (11:14:53 2/07/2012)
A shorter picture. From the cabinet next to the decanate (by the way, mine) is a gas sector, here from the cabinet is a loose creature (I) with a cup of coffee and without a T-shirt. He looks at him with a blind eye and asks. Did the spider run out of the door? are not responding. And I them. If he runs out you don’t look that he’s big and loose he almost doesn’t bite a medical station on the third floor. I accidentally found an aquarium with a spider.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №66418
 02.07.2012
from JJ:

The subordinates rejoiced, and I wavered:
''in the server there are constantly scattering noises of unknown origin, the source of them is not established. Noise occurs with a sober admin and the absence of a available cat in our department. We ask to take action to eliminate it, as girls are worried, talk about transcendent beings and work worse.
The response of the security chief:
'' As a tool for the expulsion of the dark forces, I recommend the ritual smoking of fiamiams and little ones ''Mashenka'

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №66417
 02.07.2012
What do I do to get to sleep?
yyy: Bananas are good for sleep, the day a colleague read somewhere.
I have eaten a banana. I want to sleep (
YYY: Why did you eat it? This is everything you need to explain!

[ + 70 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №66416
 02.07.2012
Yesterday with the thoughts of passing the session madness quietly home. We are going to cross the road, but suddenly another lady of the Balzac age appears on the horizon with cries like, "Lubasha, how many years, how many winters!" She hugs the lady and starts kissing me with the outcry "Maximka, how you grew up!"
Oh, it’s not a clever feeling when you’re not Maximka and actually just passed by...

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №66415
 02.07.2012
To argue with a creationist is like playing chess with a pigeon: he jumps on a board, runs figures, mockes, and then flies away to tell other pigeons about his victory.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №66414
 02.07.2012
1999: I Will Make You
1999: As a Child
Do you know how children are done?

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