bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №99990
 02.07.2014
His 5 kopecks about fairy reservations: worked in a large company and one time wandered to work in a small town of N-sk 100 km.from our city. And not far away, but there began the major repair of the main road and 90% of the road was by dusty, ground congresses. And here again returned from there, dirty, tired, swallowed dust because of the unworking air conditioner in the 40-degree heat and went to report to the General with a slump. Sitting so pink and hairy, interested in traveling. Here I say with some expression in the voice: you know, everything is fine, but the road is just unbearable, dust, heat and everywhere, the nightmare is shorter! And immediately she shut up, with horror digesting what was said. To their honor, they didn’t even lead their eyebrows... Ufff, I thought, leaving the office with burning ears, did not notice. But the second time the ears burned on the next planner, when the boss at all noticed: "and Julia to N-sk we will not send anymore, did not like her last time.

[ + 28 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №99989
 02.07.2014
That’s why vampire movies don’t reflect their clothes in mirrors. Did they bite her too? O_O

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №99988
 02.07.2014
and further:
Well, create a discussion, maybe someone will share all the missing...
by Vasily :
I don’t believe in people.)
and further:
I don’t want to upset you, but they exist.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №99987
 02.07.2014
What do you know about the goods! Normal people, good athletes.
I won’t say anything about athletes, but we have a better company. Chuvak regularly goes to training (in the winter to the tir, in the summer to the shooting field). At home several bowls, in the tournaments participated...
He is very fanatical of the bow. In the country of a weak oak from the site of dogs drives away (on the arrow instead of the tip of the block from the champagne), in the winter, there, a couple of rabbits shot, and in the corporate tires arranged... Immediately agreed not to take too much. I need to sink a little.
So he took the onion there - hard! Not complicated, but complex.
Probably a traditional. Probably had fun?
Fuck, no one could pull him!
Exactly a traditional.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №99986
 02.07.2014
For several months, I have had a page hanging in my browser with an article about what physicists have discovered: Time does not exist. I want to read it, but I don’t have time.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №99985
 02.07.2014
The Secret of the Century Revealed!
These ugly summer boots girls wear to not shave their legs over again.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №99984
 02.07.2014
Greegee: I’ll kill my boss, I promise you, I’ll kill him someday.
Tagged with: complaint
Greegee: On Friday he told me to come together, on Monday morning on a business trip, for the weekend all the papers, tickets, bills prepared, I go to Sochi.
I am jealous)
Greegee: Yeah, you’re jealous, the Omsukchan district, Magadan, the Sochi river, the crushing plant... and the backpack with sweaters and cream behind the back... I told you I’d kill my boss?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №99983
 02.07.2014
Smoking for smokers is good.
I am engaged in masturbation for 10-15 years (I don't remember exactly) some problems with men's health have already started to be observed.

Well, why did you bring them an idea for a new law! We are all out (

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №99982
 02.07.2014
Hubble is everywhere. Discussing Google's placement of its optical cable across the Pacific Ocean.
<<<<<
111 And imagine how much would such a cable cost at OOO RosNIIPIL? 300 billion dollars? Or three trillions?

Well, the experience of “immersion” of high-tech equipment on the ocean floor in the same Roscosmos has, so that we can “saving” on ships and melt the “Protons”.

333 Pre-wrapped them with an optical fiber cable, right?

I think one end of the cable can be attached to the rocket and the rest of the bay left on the ground: the rocket is flying - the cable is depleted>>>>

[ + 31 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №99981
 02.07.2014
Alex (02.07.2014 09:21): You know exactly. Tell me a song. the old. Singing a man in English, but at the end of his crown "Baskov Kolya!!And " that everyone knows. Probably because Baskov was not there at the time.

Pluto (02.07.2014 09:22):???? O O O O O!! to

Alex (02.07.2014 09:22): Yes you know. He sings so distinctively "BAS KOV KO LA"

Pluto (02.07.2014 09:22): Gorky Park - Moscow Calling??? to

Alex (02.07.2014 09:22): 5 sec. I will... Subscribe.

Alex (02.07.2014 09:27): Exactly!!! thank you!! to

Alex (02.07.2014 09:27): PS: Well, the name of the song.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №99980
 02.07.2014
“I think if our football fans had directed their destructive energy not to municipal property and the casual encounters, but to the ownership of the players, we would have watched a completely different football. >_<

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №99979
 02.07.2014
to this:
We have a small hospital, ambulances only take us if there are no more places anywhere and three rabies bites a day. There was another case, so in general 3.14children. The winds were standing with the saucers at the stop. A cute lion came out. They all fed him and swallowed him, and the fox took him and died. Well at least. I checked, yes the rage. Then they walked all over the city, catching out those who stood at this stop.
____
What other shit is that? Did the fox eat all the blood at the stop? Anger is transmitted only by contact of saliva with blood. If you simply chew an animal or bite through clothes or not to blood - no one will get infected. And how could they verify that it was anger? There will be nothing in the blood of the potentially infected until it is too late. It is verified only in one way: take for analysis a piece of the brain of a dead animal. Did they go to that stop behind the lion's body and make an opening? Do not panic people! I know you just have instructions to vaccinate everyone who has turned to the injury point with a bite. However, the rabies medicine has side effects, and it should only be spotted when it is reliably known that the infection has occurred! What is this country with so much statistics? Every case of rabies is recorded. And immediately take action as soon as at least one sick animal is detected. And three vaccinations a day is a breakthrough even for an epidemic. Think about what you are writing. Doctors are melting.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №99978
 02.07.2014
In Russia, the ban on mat in works of art, media, etc. comes into force on July 1.

I would like to send all the members of Parliament,
I have been upset by initiatives for a long time.
All their ideas will collapse.
And the members themselves, let them go.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №99977
 02.07.2014
If I suddenly get killed at home, well, or I will die myself, then experienced policemen will say, "Look, four glasses on the table, there were four!" Fuck it there! I just don’t like washing clothes.)

[ + 23 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №99976
 02.07.2014
Sorry, but this is only 25 kg of chicken and 30 kg of potatoes. That’s exactly how much an adult man eats a month.
– – – – –
Sorry, but you are eating!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №99975
 02.07.2014
I received a message from my subordinate: "Alexey, if I wake up tomorrow, I will be late."

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №99974
 02.07.2014
Inscription on the asphalt in front of the house:
"Thanks to you! Lisa is 18.and "

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №99973
 02.07.2014
The forest, nature, the morning after the shale. Slowly pulling out of the tent, we begin to gather. Remains from yesterday’s table. Antonha is not involved in the process, sitting on the side, stuck in the tablet. A certain ancient site with dumb tricks and occasionally rolls out on our messy heads of another "pearl".
And then he said: Ha! Guess a country where pasta is eaten with bread, grape wine is snacked with grapes, and chicken is salted with chicken cubes)))
Max (watering tomato ketchup): Well what country is this?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №99972
 02.07.2014
Meeting with a friend of mine:
Type design is the creation of a system of ready-made type elements. Is that how I wrote my diploma?
Well yes. "Is this a plagiarism? No, the typical design"

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №99971
 02.07.2014
With our lawmaking you feel like in Hogwarts. You don’t know where the stairs will turn next.

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