bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №130224
 02.07.2016
I met a friend to fly with the whole family to his homeland in Uzbekistan. Further from her words:

We sit in the waiting room. There are a lot of people, but everything is busy and generally quite quiet. The little boy (3 years) is not sitting in place and he is wearing there and there. At some point, he stumbles and is picked up by the good-hearted look of grandfather. The dialogue begins:

You are what? You will break your head! What is your name?

and Sasha.

Are you waiting for the plane?

and AGA.

Where are you going to fly?

To my grandmother!

In which country?

And the little one, taking a full chest of air, gives out to the whole hall:

In to Uzbekistan!

Everything is like in the fog. Under the wild rust, I drag with the husband of the child to the other end of the waiting room. Both are red like cancer.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №130223
 02.07.2016
I lost my flash card at work. The music, the movies fresh... I was upset. I to my colleagues about the loss. Zero of attention. He said there was a home video on the flash. Everyone was looking for it, even the director.

The flash was never found.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №130222
 02.07.2016
Political and Historical Song:
Mother Monarchy, Pope the Head of the Church

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №130221
 02.07.2016
Skills and habits are what we are in the eyes of other people. In this same pile is the fact that your background (events that changed you) is known only to you and a couple or three more people; for the rest, you are exactly what you are at the moment. That is, for example, not a girl who learned to be a mother at the age of 16, but a mother-in-law girl; not a romantic who has broken down hard and repeatedly, but a cynic; less globally - not a woman who has flattered from night work, but an inadequate messy aunt, etc. Maybe this is obvious, but for me it has become a stunning discovery at the time. The good thing is that with this knowledge and other people can be looked at differently... differently, with assumptions.

[ + 25 - ] [15 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №130220
 02.07.2016
Tito lived badly.

Fuck, they wandered there in Yugoslavia and Italy to buy dishwasher pills, swallows!!! to
And we in the USSR had no idea what was a dishwasher and how to go abroad at all!!! to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №130219
 02.07.2016
In ancient Egypt, for example, some pyramid builders were given four to five liters of drink per day. In ancient times, alcohol was perceived as an important source of nutrients.

Oh how! And the scientists then broke their heads: Well, how were these pyramids built? A crowd of buchy men - and one ancient mystery less. What you can’t do without sleeping...

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №130218
 02.07.2016
Keanu Reeves has announced the shooting of two new parts of the "Matrix".

The directors are the same.

The Wachowski brothers did well. Will the sisters be able to?

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №130217
 02.07.2016
When the fifth iPhone was released, there was a bunch of advertising about holograms. I was sure that such a technology is now impossible, but all my acquaintances proved to me that there would be a hologram - the result is expected.
Everyone is ready to prove their right, but at least one would admit their mistake when it is discovered.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №130216
 02.07.2016
Che: The jokes were jokes, and when I was a schoolboy and the girls sent me to buy food for the party, asking me to buy spicy carrots - I sincerely picked up the carrots sharper (well, little of what the girls needed) and when I came I couldn't understand why the girls beat in hysterics from laughter.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №130215
 02.07.2016
Tag: forum about glasses
In 2006, he wrote about his wife's purchased lenses.
It writes: ". protection from computer radiation (?cactus sewn?and"

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №130214
 02.07.2016
From the discussion of the law "Jarova package":
Postcards on the roof to start breeding
After another round of sanctions, they can be eaten.
Maybe I’ll have more postal cows and pigs.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №130213
 02.07.2016
This dog:

The robbed dogs
I have a pudel.
and his feet.
I have Alabama.
I am injured.

It reminds me of something. I remembered what it reminded me:

I will give you in the eye.
I will invite my brother to the garden.
Your brother’s father will beat me.
My dad is stronger.

Growing up...

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №130212
 02.07.2016
about a cat - a lover of falling down, or even sleeping on shoes in the hallway:

Constantly lying on footwear, shoes, ballets

In the morning we humbly cleanse the wool from them, in vain try to explain to the cat that we no longer need to heat outdoors and insulate our shoes, he looks at us as poor and we, running, go to work.)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №130211
 02.07.2016
xxx: from the problem report: "The cause of the test stand crash: launching all subsystems simultaneously"
What else was needed to work right away?? to
That wasn’t in TZ. :)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №130210
 02.07.2016

<lesi> but the transportation of the cat from one place to another - panic for a month
<lesi> I have all of them.
<Dude52> lesi: You just didn’t carry your car...

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №130209
 02.07.2016
Yes, I hate dogs. Because they cheat.
I can still accept the dogs laughing when I walk past them on the street. This is a short-term phenomenon, unpleasant, but you can survive.
I live in the private sector. And some distant neighbors (through 3 or 4 sites, not to disassemble) live a dog that laughs for several hours in a row. In the day and at night. Closed windows don’t save – I can still hear.
I am tired. I have a headache. of those sounds. I fucking moved to the countryside to live in silence!! to
I don’t understand one thing: don’t the owners themselves bother this laughing under the windows?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №130208
 02.07.2016
Today I pick up the billboards at work, I did not notice how the boss approached... And quietly, somehow on me, and went away... Then I rumble that I have all this time quietly knocked under my nose: work, work, go on a note...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №130207
 02.07.2016
XXX: Pleased at the Trauma Point
xxx: "Do you put the seams on or put on?"
XXX: And here is what I came up with...

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №130206
 02.07.2016
I was on a plane with Milosevic. Asked for a photo for memory, he refused. He says you first get someone like me, and then you’ll take a picture. And I say to him, "And you first get to, because of you, the deputy went to the doctor and cancelled three speeches - and fuck him fuck!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №130205
 02.07.2016
There are female haters. I’m not that, I love women. I hate the men that these women give. I am a hater!

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