Remember that life is like riding a bicycle: if you are sick, it means.

You are going up!

So I’m driving without a seat, and on cats.

When I was a child, I was very curious and curious, and my dad often connected me to some kind of housework, bribing me with phrases: “Do you want me to show you?” “Have you ever seen how...” and etc.



Here, for example, from what I remember – you need to clean up in the yard, he approaches and asks, “Have you ever seen the water evaporate in the sun? No is? Let’s go and show you!”

We go out, the dad with zig-zag movements waters the courtyard from the pipe and says that you need to wait just a few minutes and everything will dry.



“Let’s go,” he proposes, “as long as we wait, let’s go? You’re on the right side of the target, and I’ll take the left side, and we’ll see who gets cleaner.”

I’m fascinated by mocking, trying not to miss a single puddle, so that it’s not worse than my dad, and when we finish, he says, “Look, you see it and the water has evaporated.” I look around the really dry yard and at the level of magic I perceive the absence of traces of irrigation.



Or the dad approaches us with his sister and asks, "Did you see my mom brushing the mushrooms with her toothbrushes?" We respond negatively. A couple of moments and phrases, like, “no-ka, let’s see, and you’ll do the same? "And behold, we are standing before a huge mountain on the table, and we have three clean mushrooms, each in its own bowl of water.

Or: “Would you like me to show you how long the roots of the weeds are? And then, “Oh, you look at what, oh! “And a little later, ‘Let’s go, I’m knocking them out, and you put them out there together,’ and again, ‘Oh! Look at what an unusual color! “” And I am curious, I am fun, and what is busy with homework, I do not notice.



Already as an adult, I admitted that at 10 years old, I bite this clever move, laughed, remembered.

How many years have passed, and my daddy and my 20-year-old sometimes said to me with a smile: "Have you ever seen a daughter running to the store for a quinoa for daddy, fast-paced so? I said, “I’ve seen, I’ll show you now! I went to the store with pleasure and nostalgia for childhood.

A 17-year-old brother late in the night, drunk in the sludge, was pulled home by the police. The father helped bring him to bed, the mother talked to the authorities, signed some papers. He was laid in bed, divided, and laid to sleep. In the morning, a beginner alcoholic came into my room, carefully woke up and asked if his parents noticed yesterday that he came a little drunk.

The body is largely controlled by the peripheral nervous system. For example, a good blow to the mouth immediately wakes up the conscience.

I regularly watch different talk shows on TV. Probably the old. Particularly entertaining are those where officials of all walks of life call on young people to choose a competitive specialty, enroll in a top university and find a highly paid job that would allow them to earn a decent pension in 40-50 years and live without longing. In theory, everything is fine. Looking back at my classmates, I realize that with the first education fucking who guessed.
I graduated from school in 1986, we were young, disturbed, dreamed of the beautiful and thought of the good: what was the engine in the country. Who knew that in five years, when we graduate from our universities, together with the engine in the country will come the star, cape and other joyful furry animals. Then there were two coup d’état, two Chechen crises, crises of all kinds, monetary and pension reforms, etc. and etc. I think that each during this time had 2-3 personal microcataclysms, and not micro. There was a terrible inflation. In 1996, my mother and I bought a sewing machine for two million three hundred thousand rubles. Cut, by the way, so far. What happens to her is that she is German. From the Soviet salaries of 120 rubles to millions went less than five years. Then there was denomination and default. Thirty years have passed like one day. It was not boring. And here I look at these officials who write down all the charms of life with a large pension accumulated and I want to ask them one single question: gentlemen, are you sure that the next 30 years in our cheerful and unpredictable country will be more peaceful than the previous ones?

by PS. The same officials tell us what benefits of life await us by 2024, and for some reason their entire flight of fantasy is limited to the presidential term. Whether we are waiting for universal grace (which is questionable) and there will be no need to think about anything at all, or whether these officials do not see themselves in this country after 2024.

I want to be treated gender-neutral.
You hear it, shit...

Aunt (a lawyer for education) told the story from the time of her internship in (then still) the police station

They took a Gypsy woman with suspicion of transporting heroin in one intimate and interesting place. Probably a clue. And check suspicions as follows: the Gypsy is forced to take off her shirt and squeeze a little. And here she sits - once, two, three. An apple falls on the floor. Obviously a hole. And behind him fall tightly filled contraceptives with heroin. The apple is cleansed on the table away, they start to mess with the papers.

At this time, the same trainee is in the office. The unfortunate apple appears to him, and he begins to ring his bells under the frankly flattered eyes of the staff, the trainees, my aunt and the Gypsies.

How the story ended, I did not know.

Good morning dear readers. I work as an operator. Support from a well-known provider. And so call!

I am the Client:

I am - Good night, this is the company, this is the name, how can I help?

Where is my internet?

Do you have no internet?

K is Yes! Where is my internet?

I check his login and check the base.

I - You don't have an active session on the router, is it enabled?

No, no lamp is burning.

I - Please turn it on or check the power cable

K - I turn it on, it doesn't turn on!

And then there was a sharp woman’s voice in the background: “Dumb, we don’t have the light!”

The client hangs the phone. No greetings or greetings.