My grandmother is 91 years old. Once she was out of the house. I was a little girl and she was walking with me. When she was put on a home phone, she taught me how to use the key to the entrance:

When it opens, it says an eagle.

It is said that the incident occurred in one Tomsk company. The company recruited employees and received large amounts of resumes.

One resume made the whole office think. First, it was completely written by hand with a very insignificant handwriting, and secondly, it was written in the column "About yourself" (the whole office was confused with this):

“I goat my elephant.”

Everybody read this phrase in one way or another. All in confusion. What kind of elephant in Siberia? “How does he catch him? “”

Eventually, they decided to call this man for an interview. There was a similar dialogue:

We read your resume, it interested us!

Very pleased!

Tell me what you have written in the "About yourself" section.

How what? I am the master of my word.

My acquaintance Pasha from childhood was characterized by an increased appetite. In school, he was often irritated because of this, and when he grew up, sometimes offended.

But then, at some point, Pasha disappeared from the field of sight for more than a year, and declared himself to be heavily weakened in the spleen and noticeably expanded in his shoulders. Furor, ovations and congratulations! All the acquaintances were impressed and began to fall asleep with questions:

Pash, well she’s beautiful! How could I?

(P) - Engaged in strength training, abandoned all harmful, fatty, sweet.

A – How? Just completely? You are Kremlin! What prompted you to do so?

(P) Yes, I, like Archimedes, got the insight in the bathroom.

(Z) - Ha, did you sit in it and push out all the water, flooding the neighbors?

(P) – I am... no. I just realized that I became really fat when one day I pulled the trunk out of the bathroom.

A – How is it?

P – So is it. I pulled it out, and I see that the water is melting in the front, but behind me it is holding at the same level...

If it were necessary to transfer at least 10% of the personal wealth to the Fund of the Motherland to save Russia, we would see a huge gap in the lean ranks of modern patriots.

The story of yesterday.“Everything genius is simple.”
After finishing ninth grade, like many of my classmates, I went to work in the collegiate farm, because only there took minors for summer holidays. There was still a canned factory, but it was more for girls. He is not a helper, but a helper. And it happened that the combine's left half-axis was covered (due to a bad battery, it was necessary to start this machine every morning from the trailer).By the evening, the spare parts were delivered and the combinees began to discuss among themselves how they would strike the installation of this half-axis tomorrow. With the words "morning evening wiser" spread across the houses. At night, I turned a little, contemplating the details of the upcoming operation, and no light had rushed to the combine, pressing in my hand a wooden blade with a blade attached to it. There was no one there and I went to work. He pushed the blade inside the body, placed a half-axis on it, and, arming it, like a lever, began to fall into the slices. From the second time everything worked out, and after pulling out the rope, I began to wait for the mechanics. It must be said that their amazement and admiration for my wisdom had no limits, and my authority in their eyes grew noticeably.

Now the men will celebrate retirement twice - at 60 in the old style at 65 in the new.