I was 10-12 years old. Sitting with a friend on the bank of the river, nature admired. Summer is grace. Suddenly we see a couple from the rear: a man of an indefinite age, it is visible that he is professionally drinking, and with him a woman can get him. The woman stands, the man approaches us, says:

Oh well, break up!

And he climbed his hand into the double tree beside which we sat. He shakes there for half a minute, then makes a solemn shout and gets a classic granite glass from there.

“Well,” he said, “the party seemed to be successful!

Blinking and showing us a litre bottle of vodka lying behind the sinuses.

– Uncle, – we’re curious with the comrade, – and why are you drinking? It can be from the throat.

- Ah, little girl... - breathes the man, - I would have no problems with the throat, but today can not, with me the lady...

XXX is Giza.

8 years ago. The Wife:

Let’s take the dog?

I have only two conditions, you will walk in the morning and it must be a dog, not a microscopic laughing whore.

It is going.

We have a Labrador and my wife is pregnant. All the walks are mine. The condition is fucking.



yyy: Agree, then you will walk with the dog and the child))

How much should the head of the state discredit himself, that even his seemingly reasonable initiatives cause protests among the population?

My uncle taught me to believe in human reasoning at a nice and strange age. He worked as a master of the brigade of electricians-liners, who repair broken wires on high-voltage lines. High voltage is when, for example, the break falling between wires from a short switch simply evaporates. It is necessary to say that a person under such a current should not fall, in a closed tomb will be buried. 

And according to him, the main problem was not spare parts, not theft of copper, not long races, not the weather, not the habit of danger and ignoring TB. Not even drunk. 

The idiots.
Here is trouble.

They are allowed to arrive in the Sahara, which sits for two hours without light. At the substation, the large rubber is turned off, so that the line they will repair is sure to be without electricity, and they do not burn like the break when they climb to the wires. Of course, the machine worked and disrupted everything, but you need to reassure yourself.
They go properly along the columns of five kilometers, find a tree that fell on the wires and already climbing up to cut and cluster, in case they decide to measure whether there is no electricity in the wires.

There is electricity.

They carefully, without walking on two legs at once, leave the pillar and return to the substation.
5 km of fields.

You should probably say that for a professional electrician-liner means "Switch off the rubber on the substation".
This is:
- to warn that they turn off the supply and go to the line of service;
- on the enclosed and protected territory to turn off the rubber;
Add a sign “Do not include! Repair work is underway!with the skull and bones;
warn the security guard not to let anyone alone.

did not help.
"The master arrived, he was very upset that there is no electricity, on the farm doilki do not work, on the combinate, the sink without refrigerators kicks. I turned on the rubber, the electricity did not appear, even more grieved, left. Why not stop? failed to. Why not turn it off again? The Master too.”

The brigade exhaled, repeated their mantras, turned off the rubber back, hanged the lock on it, and went back to the breach.
Especially for such severe cases there are rubbers with openings, like on the garage door, so that you can be sure to be calm. They have a lock and a key with them.

5 km of fields.
On the Pillar.
Examination to reassure conscience.
There is electricity!! to

They flew back in anger, like wings.
"The engineer came, very upset that someone turned off the line, because the combination disappears, he himself the head of the district called. He ordered us to cut the castle, and we cut it down. I turned on the rubber, the electricity did not appear, even more grieved, went somewhere further to check. Why not turn off? I did not think.”

The evil brigade, who understands that he will not be home for dinner today, turns off the rubber. He takes it with him.
To be faithful, they leave Petrovich, who vows to lie on his bones, but will not miss anyone.

5 km of fields over which the sun is already sinking.
On a familiar column.
The inspection is nervous.
It is there!!! to

I was sent back condemned. At the entrance to the substation, the forest with the security guard was unwavering Petrovich, who immediately got everything.
Instead of the rubber, a healthy steel bar was inserted into the waist.
"And what," said the local electrician caught later: "I am called from the farm - save, there is no electricity. I am here through the back, there is a passage in the fence, and here someone has a rubber of spheres and a poster covered. I saved, there is also the herd, I now owe a bubble on the farm!"

The returning master and the engineer, meanwhile, were chasing the teas in the office and discussing loudly the lodiers-reparators and fools-politicians.

P.S Yes, the bull fell, and the brigade remained without a prize.

No one needs a blogger forced to close two huge airports, block major motorways and change the course of the airline.