In response to:
to this:
to this:

Neshika: Please do not touch our Anushka with your hands!
And don’t give it oil.

= = = = is = is = is = is = is = is = is = is
You think 90% understand what you’re talking about? Unfortunately... :(
But it is pleasant that it was taken to the main bar.
____________________________
What a joke?
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Listen to Bulgakov, do not learn.

Chapter 11: Don’t be nervous. I have bad news.
222 Speaking
Do you remember you and I cooked vodka in order for winter to be good?
222 is accepted.
My mom opened one of them. As a result, she, arynks and grandmother "specifically". What to do?

Today the brother it-shnik performed:
Going along the alley, two girls sit next to a red fat cat.
Brother, passing by: "A considerable cat, looks like..."
The girl, enthusiastically : " On Me?! )))) andquot;
Brother : " No, for the cat"...

Verita
Do you have your skin until it’s turned into your fur inside?
Makc
Are you scaring me now?
Makc
I saw you in the morning with a badge and no cosmetics, do you think I'm afraid of something now?
Verita
Sickly))

Ahha, our own people. support generally delivers, today a friend called, so he 2 times with another user connected and they told each other what they had with the inertia)

The blow of fate is usually below the belt.

“The Lady in Pink.”

One day, an Austrian colleague was transferred to us. He was from the Special Forces, from Cobra. He was steep in behavior and all covered with scars, indicating a saturated professional activity.
To be fair, it must be said that he was really a professional in our craft, but with the establishment of interpersonal contacts he was tight. Very tight.
Within a few days we all realized that he was a decent goat. What will you do?
Mikael had a horizontal scar on the left side of his forehead, right above his eyebrow, about one and a half centimeters long. The evil Norwegian languages claimed that through this incision a part of his brain was removed. In my opinion, this version explained a lot in his behavior.
We were then based in Mitrovica. This was a real problem point on the map of Kosovo. On the bridge separating northern (Serbian) Mitrovica and southern (Albanian) Mitrovica, shootings and clashes between Serbs and Albanians occurred almost daily.
We had to, sometimes several times a day, go out and “separate” them. Each officer had a large bag, which contained a rubber shovel, a helmet with removal, plastic bracelets, anti-gas, grenades with tear gas, armor, all sorts of headsets, sleeves and the like.
If an emergency happened, we simply took our bags and went “to bring peace and harmony, law and order, to serve and protect.”
By the moment I described, Mikael had finally captured all his colleagues with his arrogance and contempt. And it was inadequate - our boys gathered honorably.
Now imagine another fight on the bridge, the Albanians trying to break into the Serbian side. We get orders, grab our bags and fly to the place. Without reaching a couple of tens of meters, we jump out of the cars and start to dress. We don’t get in close because the locals were very pleased to burn our cars at the slightest possible.
Everything was fine, but when Mikael opened his bag, it turned out that everything, absolutely everything in it, was carefully painted by the caring hands of colleagues in a gentle pink color. Thanks to the Serbian pulverization industry.
He blew up from insult. What to do? Time does not wait. So he had to run between Serbs and Albanians in a pink armor jersey, in a pink helmet and with a pink bush, shocking them with his unexpected and unserious appearance.
We couldn’t even work out of laughter. Everyone was crushed: international police, even Albanians and Serbs.
Mikhail understood the situation correctly and moved to another unit. But even there, until the end of his service, he was nicknamed "Lady in pink."

- I heard that now the MVD will not just fight corruption,
He declares war on her. I don’t understand what the difference is.
How is it! In the war, trophies are reserved for themselves.

Here is this:
I’m still calm, but today...
In the supermarket came to me an upset old lady and with tears in her eyes asked to buy her bread and milk, the cheapest, because she has no money - everything went for medicines... I could not pass by, bought. There is nothing heroic in this, I am not writing to boast. Dear comrades deputies, ministers, businessmen, officials of all levels and other servants of the people! These old men shed blood for us in the war, they worked in factories, they wrecked in camps, they pushed their backs on all-Union buildings, so that you, the people, can now heat your bow twice a year in the Canaries and the Maldives. And now they must, ashamed of their poverty, ask for food! Go all naked, shit! Let the bears fuck you!

And there will be no joke, because it is not funny anyway... it is scary! People support me!
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+1 I hope more
On the lists of united Russia will soon start hanging on the lanterns

XXX: My mom got it. Do you want me to buy you condoms?
Yyy: Well and what?
Damn, I want the XBOX!!! to

She Online
Status: You didn’t give me French spirits, but you gave me a bunch of poems, but I don’t mind your poems, the spirits are BETTER.
The Funny Status)
You sucked so much, despise the poems, you smelled cooler and cooler, but I am not a dog - to smell, soul, in my opinion - better.
ONA: if this is an expromt, then the rating is 5 points ))
and yes))

The Iron News.
Seagate engineers have developed an infinite capacity HDD. Currently, they are solving the problem of its formatting.

Here is this:

Andrei: Listen, Sanya, tell me as a lawyer, if my parents give me an apartment after the wedding, will my wife be able to claim it in case of divorce?
If after the wedding, then yes - as a jointly lived, if before the wedding, then no.
And then ha! Lenka is stupid! She told my ancestors that she would not marry me until they gave me the apartment. and :)
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What kind of lawyers we have in our country, then complain that they don’t get a job. Who gave you diplomas?
Remember ladies and gentlemen! In marriage, all jointly acquired property shall be divided in half, excluding inheritance, gifts and things of personal use. That is, based on the above situation when giving an apartment in any case before marriage or after marriage, the spouse will not have any rights to it.

Bring to the top what people should know, it needs to know! And then you will believe every hernia and lawyers unworked.

Torts like shorts.
_______________________________________________________
Thanks to you, good man! For 10 years I could not remember it.

Today I called a taxi, I left the house, I approached the car and the taxi driver played opera music. Serious such, high quality. Sitting down, the driver smoothly turns off the opera, removes the disk (a good audio-sidy, not a compressed mp3) and puts the flash. Includes a quick-chanson and goes. O_O
By chance, I discovered the secret of all the taxi drivers. When no one is there, they listen to classical and opera music, read philosophical treatises and compose poems.
Something is unclean here.