At the children’s playground with the father of two and a half-year-old children.

I said, “It’s hard with two, probably.”

Happy father: “It’s better, the main sleepless nights are over. I am now morally prepared for financial losses. After all, every toy in a double option to buy.”

“It’s not just toys. The dresses are the same. A bit of a different shade and they’re going to struggle.”

Happy father: “Well, if brother and sister will still fight for the dress, I will definitely go crazy.”

A friend called me a day ago at night, asked urgently for 30,000 in debt, drunk. I refused, said no. Then he got a great idea in his head, you say you have a credit card, throw it away from me! The next great idea visited me, I sent it to x%y and turned off the sound on the phone. And now the story, as he told me now sober.

He wanted a paid love, found a number, called, transferred a 5k prepayment, went. Upon arrival, the closed door, he calls the prostitute, he is told a story: The door with an electronic lock, just doesn't open, you need a minimum payment of 10k then will open. It translates 5K. The door does not open, he calls the prostitute, she says what is happening, the door has been locked. The acquaintance requires to open the door or return the money, he is given the number of the owner and the owner of the protons finally explains everything to him: It turns out, there are 4 prostitutes and the pass system is set up in such a way that at the moment there will be paid at least 40,000, that is. 10 for each, the door will not open. But you, say, translate, the door will open and you will take your money! He started calling everyone he could, no one gave money and the door did not open. That’s how, I say because of you 10,000 lost))) The choked scheme)))

In the past, people loved to read books and listen to each other, but now people love to listen to books and read to each other.



© Police

Do not be afraid of divorce.

I will tell you the story of my divorce. I got married early at 21. On a very good girl, but after some time began to live with her somehow not very, then a son was born, and living with her became worse.

I drank endlessly on various occasions, and often without a reason.
"Look, Yulia's husband drives her three times a year abroad, and we only once were in Egypt.
- Natashkin's husband gave her a jeep, and you just bought me a fiesta.
- That you are constantly working, you are going to be at home, you need to spend more time with me.

I thought about divorce as if it was out of place. That would be good, of course, but it is all in some way. What people will think, the son is small again. How do I give up. The apartment and other properties are already in use.

Then I started having pressure. Specifically such a joke. And six years ago I went to the hospital, and I was hanged a device there to measure pulse, pressure and so on over the course of the day. And when I gave this device, the next day the doctor invited me to a conversation:

Meet me, this is my psychiatrist.
I am not crazy, I smiled.
“We are all a kind of psychic,” said the psychologist.
Did you have a scandal at home yesterday?
It’s okay, but why are you asking?
"Well, look, in the morning you went to work, the pressure and pulse is fine, and at 6 o'clock you went home?
- Yes
And it started. Look at the schedule. Pulse slaps, tachycardia, pressure 180/120 and so on to the night.

Then I told him everything. That I don’t want to go home because there’s a depressing atmosphere, that I’m the first volunteer for long journeys, that I prefer to go out to the production with a overnight stay to watch the tech process, though it’s not my turn. Because I am well there, and my home is bad.

He listened, left me and said:
I will be brief. If you want to live, you have to decide something for yourself. You either get divorced or you die. I am not joking. I will not advise you to go to a family psychologist and all that. Too many years you’ve been married, 14 years is not a joke. My advice to you, as a man to a man, and as a doctor to a patient. and divorce.

It caught me very well. He walked to the car like a lost man. There was no courage to divorce. I thought, I thought, I didn’t invent anything, because the tuffak is not brave in this regard. Even the thoughts were like this: it would be great if she had changed me, and then I would have accused her and divorced in full law. Tom is such a nonsense. But I did not have the courage to come and say. Well, I thought that this is my karma, and I will continue to live, and the doctor may be wrong and generally tolerate - fall in love and all that. It was so until a moment.

I bought furniture for a new apartment. There was a bunch of cardboard left in the corridor. I wanted to throw it out, but the wife said that her brother would come and take what was there in the garage to bed on the roof. This card is for a week. On Monday I have a plan, a meeting. The call, wife
I feel uncomfortable calling again.
What a meeting, listen to me!! When will you clean your card? Twenty times I told you, I just fell through it, broke my nail, you are a man or not, how much to endure?

I turned off the phone, something inside me seemed to be broken. I apologized and said I had to leave immediately. He sat in the car, came home, went to the bedroom, collected trousers, socks in the sports bag, put carabines in the blankets, took them into the car. He returned, took his jacket, more things, and took it back into the car. I returned and said that I would not live with her anymore and divorce. He left and did not return.

That night I slept on the office sofa. Then I rented the apartment, there was a week of depression, I was released from work, nobody touched me. Then he began to live slowly. After a while I realized I was alive. Fuck, I don’t exist, I live a full life! I have a great job, great prospects, I am still young, I am only 36, I am strong and healthy, I no longer have a headache! Let it go! I am living!

Then I started living with a good girl and bought a house. She lived with her in a new house. And what’s interesting: I don’t like traveling anymore, I don’t want to stay after work to work anymore, I want to go home. Home is the place where I feel comfortable and comfortable. Where there is a good person I want to come to soon. I stopped being afraid of my home, I became interested in living.

And once an adult already my son told me in secret:
Dad, that is the case. I don’t know how to tell you, but I must. It may not be right, but I respect your wife more than my mother.
I am an officer. And he asked him:
Why is that so, son?
I do not know. I think she loves me. And you too. She will never go with us. rightly?
It is true, son...

Do not be afraid to change your life. She is alone with us. If you don’t want to live your whole life with a person who “kills” you, divorce, it’s not at all painful.

Why do we have this, where have we sinned so much?
in the polling stations.

XXX: 29 years old, the milk chest grows. When trying to grow a fox (in isolation so far no one has seen) got a virgin's fox. On the chest 5 hairs - 3 on the left nipple and 2 on the right. But, Blade, you have to constantly pull in your nose...

Yyy: Be careful with your desires, I look like a failed clone of yeti grown by an urn in a hairdresser. In general, morally, it is already ready to go on epilation, because it was hard to "haired" on the entire surface.

Zzzz: I hope you’re not a girl

A man from work. An old lady is on the way. The old lady stretches him a paper twisted several times and urges him to say, "Don't read yourself - let others read!" The man comes home, tells his wife that he met an old woman who gave him a note, but insisted, “Don’t read it yourself – let others read it!”



The man went to his best friend to ask for a bed. He comes and says that his wife has been driven out of the house. He wondered: for what? The man tells how he met an old lady who gave him a note and said, "Don't read yourself - let others read it!" A friend asked me to look at the note to find out. But as soon as he read it, he said so wickedly, "After these words I will never be your friend again!"



A man goes on the street. A police officer meets him, wondering why he goes alone late on the street. And the man tells us that he met an old lady who gave him a note and said, "Don't read yourself - let others read." He showed to his wife, and she drove her out of the house. I went to my best friend, he also read the note and also put it over the threshold. The police officer was interested and asked to give him this note. He read and said, “You have to be judged for these words.”



On the day of the trial, the judge asks the man to explain what happened. The man recalls how he met his grandmother, who gave him a note and said, "Don't read yourself - let others read it!" My friend rejected him! Then a police officer met, who was also interested in what was written in this note. I read, and then the man was here, in court. The judge was so interested in what might be in the note that he asked to show it to him. After reading the content, he said, “Yes, for such words you will not be shot!” The man was shot.



A man came to that light. And there the apostle Peter meets him and asks, what has happened? Well man and let us tell how he met an old lady, who gave him a note and punished him strictly: "Don't read yourself - let others read it!" He gave a friend to read, but he denied it. The policeman read it and brought it to trial. The judge sentenced him to shoot. The Apostle Peter was interested and asked to show the same note. He turned it out and said, “And for such words there is no place for you in paradise!”



A man went to hell. He meets him and asks what happened and how he got to him. The man began his story again about how he met an old lady who gave him a note and asked him not to read, but to let others read. The wife was expelled from the house, the best friend renounced, the police officer gave to the court, the judge sentenced to death, and also expelled from heaven. The devil was curious and he asked to show him a note. The devil said, “For such words there is no place for you in hell.”



A man fell in the summer. I was in a boat with an old man. The old man asked, what happened that the man was in the summer? The man told him how he met an old woman who gave him a note and said, "Don't read yourself - let others read it!"The woman for reading expelled from the house, the best friend also put out of the threshold, the police officer gave it to court, the judge sentenced to be shot, the apostle Peter expelled from heaven, and the devil from hell. The old man was interested and asked to give him a note. After reading the words in it, the old man cried out, "For such words there is no place for you and in my boat!"... and threw the man out of the boat.



A man is swimming. Swimming for a long time. He said, “Let me read what is written there.” He gets this note, unfolds it, and the letters are washed with water.

My friend’s daughter went to the garden. After the first day at home, we talked:

How was it in the garden, what did you do? Liked it?

We played, walked, ate and all liked it. I am very tired, I have no strength.

Well, sleep, rest until tomorrow, you will get the strength.

Do I have to go tomorrow?? to

XX: I need your advice. The deputy director asks me to write reports instead of him, and I have enough work to do. There is no mention of additional payment. Should I go into conflict or reconcile? How would you do?



Yyy: I played billiards once in my life. A long time ago with my partner rested in the prophylactory, I went to the billiard room, and he is playing with someone. He suggested to me, I said that I could not, but he did not listen to my denials and rejections. I forced Kim. Well, I crushed the ball from all the doors. The bullet flew over the table for a meter and flew to the opposite wall. It is good that the guy who stood at the table in front of me had a great reaction - the ball passed exactly where his head was... Kiy was taken, removed from the table, and never offered to play again.



XX: That is, you are proposing to make a report so that you are not forced to do it anymore. A good advice!



YYY: Yeem, foolish, I wrote in the wrong window, I was called here for a billiard. But always please, glad to help with advice.

A Jewish grandmother argued with her grandson Sema that he would not eat 25 peelings. On what he will clean up in the apartment... And here Sam eats the 24-year-old, and the 25-year-old is not in the plate... This is all you need to know about drawing up contracts.