There is a capsule coffee machine at work. The simplest, of the controls - two buttons: a cup bigger and a cup smaller.

It turned out that with the help of a combination of these two buttons you can change the given volume of cups. Moreover, programmers do not understand how to explain something to a device with two buttons and without a screen, and the office manager managed it in a few minutes!

I complain about my twins that they don’t sleep. I say, and Marisha (the girl) first lies, glimpses around, then walks, then cries, only then begins to scream. And Nazareth eats immediately, not yet awake. The whole day lies as you want - so oret.
Sister (with the heart): oh, I have Petro Ivanovich (husband) 64 years old, and the same picture: the whole day lies, as you want - so oret

You don’t live here.

Roskomnadzor, Rostehnadzor, Rospotrebnadzor and other Rospotrebnadzor, why not immediately blur the Rospotrebnadzor and rub the bubble in one place?

Of course not, but where all the relatives go. Every chief has his own.
In addition, in the distributed system bubble can be cut more

With Pikabu:
Google sees everything.
Today, when I decided to walk through Google Maps in the street viewing mode, I stumbled upon a picture of my ex-wife and the guy with whom she was hanging behind me when we were still married. Google sees it all. Unlike me, it was very fun.

[10:42:49] Keir: “Apple equipment owners recently accidentally found out that if you put the date on your iPhone or iPad on January 1, 1970 and then restart the device, it will turn into a brick.” The Apple logo will forever shine on the screen and the device will never be able to load again. Well, or at least – before your visit to the service center, although with this point it is not clear yet.
[10:44:53] Val: " Accidentally found out" they. It’s like putting a lamp in your mouth.
[10:45:44] Kir: After the message about this bug in the service centers began an anshlag ;)

Lilita: - Three weekends are not as delightful as the next three-day working week!

As a child, she was able to virtuously portray the screw of the door in horrors, fold the lips with a fish and do many other interesting things like this. Growing up, I suffered that there is nowhere to apply such valuable skills: in the office they will not understand, at home, especially, on the street in general, they will be taken to the psychic.

I went to work in a kindergarten. and happy.

Potatoes are different, I will tell you about the cakes)
I will start from a distance, I was born in the cold December of the memorable 1973 year, developed, according to the pediatrician (Mary Moiseevna 1947-1999. her kingdom is heavenly) with an edge, but there was a problem, I could not be taught to the pot... principally. only in the pants. And also Edak. All kinds of gains and dances at the level of the heroes of the film "Who Says It"( on which Johnny Travolta almost buried his career.) No... Little Fafick could sit for forty minutes on a pot to get up and immediately roll the freshman into his pants.
I honestly say. I don’t remember having such a fdeshmoob. But it's all lyric, and then one day it happened... I got a new plastic pot, he was hot, unlike that pale iron undermark... it was a crack.
Oh, where are you my plastic friend, you were washed away by the spill of the river Psou in the 78th in the Black Sea... you may write me from the shores of Turkey...

Now many are offering to start their business to earn a passive income by lying on the beach, like Emel on the oven.
It’s like recommending a person tired of work loads and stress to become a firefighter.
Yes, firefighters have the privilege of sleeping during working hours, but they are not paid for it.

An old joke, but I remembered something today.

They flood the orbital station "World". A dictator from ZUPA says:
At calculated time, the station was pulled out of orbit and sent to the agreed location of the Pacific Ocean, where it sank a few minutes ago. And now our cosmonauts... B*YYA, cosmonauts!! to

Dialogue with a friend.
Friend: Teach and wife were tortured by questions about what to give on February 23. I don’t need anything, I have everything. What would you advise?
I: Well, ask for unusual sex, for example.
D is unusual? Okay, and what about my wife?

It was last weekend in one of the famous supermarkets of household appliances. I got what I needed, I put the goods in the box. The price is 1000 whole. I give a note, the cashier girl pierces the check and puts it on the bench along with the ruble coin. "Is this a surrender?" The cashier looks at me, on the check, and with the word "habit" takes the coin back.

Return of the market to the plate
Advantages: The price of metal. It is good to ride from the mountain.
Disadvantages: They are not there.
Smooth heating regulation, a thermometer on the glass, a spacious stove, a timer, a grill, simplicity and convenience of operation - all of the above you will not find in this plate. It is manufactured by the Zlatoustovsk branch of the machinery plant in Mordor or departs from the carrier of AutovAZ. Magnificent design inspired by the novels of Stephen King and the paintings of Malevich. Buying this unit, you buy a sea of adventure, an inexhaustible source of loops and the opportunity to fight for bread urgent. Zlatoustov metalworkers, famous for their steel, were able to create a metal of unique thinness, almost transparency, specifically for this plate. The numbers from 50 to 300 are most likely (not proven) used to regulate the frequency at which this wanderwaffle sends signals to an alien mind with a request to interrupt its dim existence. In general, a beautiful, incomprehensible and a little strange (like any avant-garde) stuff of an incomprehensible purpose. Do not hesitate to buy. In an extreme case, it will be useful to scare disobedient children.

The social network is a panopticum. I’m not in the news of Treasury. I hate a world where husbands dress their wives like prostitutes. The feeling that writes a warrior Catholic nun. As an illustration, the photo is not a sect, not something of this kind: old believers, a bunch of children, such as a large family, but dressed like a cosplay "bubble old man". I go for curiosity to this hater..blin) on the avatar naked whore, with a huge soft toy from the series "blonde all in pink" It’s five)))

Mouths
An international team of scientists conducted an experiment to find out how many holes can be drilled in a wooden cube before it collapses.

Data_Link
The same scientists, only with a concrete cube, live in every apartment in Russia.

Everything is genius – simple! Usually it is punishable...

History of St. Petersburg. Yesterday evening was waiting for a girl near the subway Square of Rebellion and watched this picture: a group of three bombs sitting near the subway, and they smoke a cigarette around. When the cigarette ends, the smoker who smoked it last stands up from the granite structure, goes 20 meters and throws the bowl into the garbage.
Near this company there are police officers, checking documents from suspects, throwing their cigarettes in the melting snow.

It became known how Medvedev “outbroken” the blocking of RuTracker. How Medvedev became prime minister is unclear.

The husband:
Interactive TV - when can you bet with Winnie Pooh?

This is a very strong...type holiday advertisement on February 23, for real men

Interactive exhibition of samples of arms of the Russian and Russian Imperial Army, the Soviet Army with the possibility of simulation of shots from the presented samples;

I took a machine and was like a real man: "Fuck! Thou shalt! Tra-ta-ta-ta! and