bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №125696
 20.03.2016
Cinderella and the Sleeping Beauty have been restarted so many times that you should now expect something like "Cinderella vs. Sleeping Beauty: The Civil Prince" or "The Dawn of Marriage".

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №125695
 20.03.2016
We've all played games and we've all faced such a problem that we've gotten a lot of things, there's a lot of good things around, but the place is over. And what to do? Throw it out? No, it is dear. Throwing those objects? They are not expensive, but they are many. And in a similar situation I understood what is lacking in many games - the price per kilogram.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №125694
 20.03.2016
The Earth Hour is held today.
HH: I didn’t know.
In Crimea, this Earth Hour lasts for 3 months

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №125693
 20.03.2016
I enter the room. The daughter sits on the floor, wrapping herself in a small baby blanket. What am I telling you? "I want to be a sausage". I wanted to be a ballerina at her age.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №125692
 20.03.2016
What is the relationship between the woman and the prosecutor?
First it attracts, then it excites, and then it may deprive you of freedom.

[ + 44 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125691
 20.03.2016
I would like to thank the crew of flight 1166, which flew from Moscow to Rostov... for the decision to land in Krasnodar. We were over the city at about 1:45. The first attempt failed, as did the second and third. When I landed, it trembled like an old wagon.



We rounded up to about 2.20. The confident and calm voice of the commander informed us that we are going to Krasnodar. The next, as I learned later, was trying to board a flight from Dubai. Honestly, now, recalling how angry I and the other passengers on the crew, the feeling of shame for myself does not leave yet.



I will try to find out what the names of the pilots are. I will remember a good word all my life. To say thank you is to say nothing. A tribute to the earth, respect for professionalism!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №125690
 20.03.2016
A goat bird eats insects, so it was called a goat.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №125689
 20.03.2016
It was 10 years ago. A boy aged 11-12 is waiting for the opening of the store.

10:00 Welcome to you!

Begins to pick up games (new license - 320 rubles, not new games mostly 230-210). There was an impressive stock of disks for almost 3 thousand rubles (not small money then).

Is there money to pay?

Yes, my birthday, my parents gave me (showing a small pile of thousands)

I take him to the box.

The evening. A woman runs in with a pile of discs, all in tears.

My son bought your discs.

and begins to cry.

Her son had his birthday yesterday. Mom and Dad in divorce. Mom congratulated, in the evening he went to his father, father also congratulated and asked to transfer alimony to his mother - about 7 thousand. The boy thought it was his money and walked. The movie and the macdake will not return the money, and we came to return, even if something - half of the games are not even unpacked.

The money for the game was returned in full. Only my mother is sorry.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №125688
 20.03.2016
Milk costs 52 rubles, I give 500 and ask if I need 2 rubles. The seller, pressing her lips, answers “no” and asks for a smaller note. I have not (honestly) She, looking contemptuously, takes 500, gives milk, counts hundreds and with the appearance of a winner begins to scratch another 48 rubles, counting out loudly, methodically (in the store only I, the store is small). He buried the crowd and looked at it with a loud smile. I take hundreds, milk, get out of my pocket another 4 rubles with coins of 50 cops. I ask for another pack of milk. Because of Negro.

[ + 17 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125687
 20.03.2016
About Sasha and Alisha. The real story. The aircraft is manufactured by the factory. The cable is almost all purchased by a reseller, who has orders for the entire former USSR. Do you need a cable to let the bird take off? 6 months in the factory. A simple bird, you know how much it costs. Can I buy immediately from the dealer? Please at least yesterday. The price from the factory time is five times more expensive, and what to do, an air-simple is even more expensive. Here in the factory, Alisha has a company of 40, and Sasha in the reseller company will not even be 100 per month, but under 1 million. I am silent about the CEO. The Russian reality.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125686
 20.03.2016
If a woman asks a man for something, he always secretly expects sex.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №125685
 20.03.2016
At the beginning of the first night, there was a call for violation of public order (neighbors do karaoke, children can't sleep). Narad has left, rises up to the “victim” of night singing, opens the door... say “shuff” – say nothing. A huge man with a weekly scarf and stickers. Neighbors from below are really a whistle (it can’t be called singing) some hard pop. Asked if you were asking the neighbors to be a little quieter, the man replied: "If I had called, they would have called the police, - then scratched the neck and added, - an ambulance, I think, too."

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №125684
 20.03.2016
Theft, fraud, kidnapping, drug trafficking is fine. But stealing gas in Russia is not allowed even to Gypsies. Not in that pocket.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №125683
 20.03.2016
The fucking! She sent a quote twice, both times she almost instantly drank out of admines. What kind of shit? How to breathe - so please; and as a man asks for help - so tell him can't.
Bro, who is looking for a script for Heroes IV about the dragon. It’s not a script, but a company called “Dragons of Sword and Magic.” Search for thematic resources. At least one of them, I checked. The name of the resource this time I will not write ( suddenly deleted due to the type of "advertising"). Good luck to you, collected by interests. I hope you can see it this time.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №125682
 20.03.2016
We decided to send the parcel by post of Russia to another city, we come to the mail, they report - cancelled the forms that previously needed to be filled in, now only killed in the computer info that you wrote on the parcel. I am comfortable, yes! Posthumous - well, I don't know... With the blank it will come, so, only with God's help! That is all. State institution - with the help of God"... Apparently this is our mentality - everything is done through... the help of God...)

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №125681
 20.03.2016
If humans evolved from monkeys, why do these monkeys still exist?

If the Americans originated from the British, why do the British still exist?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №125680
 20.03.2016
by the-mockturtle

By the way, night cough attacks release a lot of time for reading. Nevertheless, there is some supreme justice in the fact that it is impossible to cough and sleep at the same time, and to cough and read - very even yes.

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125679
 20.03.2016
The Opera:

Imagine a situation: her husband refuses to have sex, say, the head hurts a lot, he just silently rolls her down and let her beat... And she has a cartilage - an aneurysm broke in the brain, death is in place. Patanatom at the same time finds not only an aneurysm, but also cracks in another interesting place. Is it you will be murder by negligence, rape with aggravating or "sweet defending - only beaten" + accident?

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №125678
 20.03.2016
Zoya: Shake up, got out of the shower, and the Bearded thing suddenly stumbled around the apartment. In the closet his secret looked, sprinkled there, thought, approached cautiously, nodded in the cheek, naturally smelled and spoke affectionately:
and oh! Yes, it is my wife, my beloved breast, washed her white breasts and smashed it with watermelon cream. And I thought Braga had passed...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №125677
 20.03.2016
What a caring tweet, writes that the "image is not shown, as it can be delicate in nature". I am an adult boy, I can... really a picture strictly for adults - the trace of a Martian rover on the red planet, children are no longer interested

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