bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №95619
 20.03.2014
We discussed with colleague (k) "Nymphomaniac" Lars von Trier.
I: Did you watch "Nymphomaniac"?
Q: I watched the first part. Until the second hand reaches.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №95618
 20.03.2014
The only city to which this applies is Berlin.

The question is that the meaning of this has changed a lot)))

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95617
 20.03.2014
From Habr:

XXX is
Of all that I have tried Lightning is the most convenient:
1st It can be pulled on any side.
2nd It holds very tight, but is easily inserted and removed.
Three Small and beautiful (subjectively)

YYY
My girlfriend says the same to me.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №95616
 20.03.2014
I can’t tolerate being regretted!
Cumi: You can’t do it?
Nika : Yes.
Cumi: The poor...

[ + 23 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95615
 20.03.2014
The ancient Ukrainian city of Taganrog.

Taganrog was founded in 1698 by Peter the First and became the first Russian naval base, the first Russian port on the open sea coast and the first city in Russia built on a regular plan.

[ + 18 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95614
 20.03.2014
The sick:

In the brilliant work of Strugatsky, "The inhabited island" tells about a world whose inhabitants are constantly exposed to zombie radiation. Several times a day the intensity increases – then the majority falls into patriotic ecstasy, and the smaller, not prone to zombies, experiences physical pain...I watch Russian television: apparently, the phase of increased intensity has come. Most of the population is beaten in patriotic ecstasy, and I am sick and angry to impossibility.

He is sick and angry, and he looks and looks, there would be no book to read.
A schizophrenic masochist. to the psychiatrist.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №95613
 20.03.2014
If admin cleans the basket, it’s depression.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №95612
 20.03.2014
Comments on the video "Dragon in the Verkhovna Rada":
PS1X is O! Rada worked in the regular mode!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №95611
 20.03.2014
are confused.

The label on the bank (conserves).
"Calmar with the taste of crab". Who ate whom?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №95610
 20.03.2014
In the office of the chief of the shop stand on the closet three cushpo of different sizes: in the large a lush green plant, on average a few small grooves with leaves, and in the smallest, located in the middle, only the soil. Each cash is signed "Names" - Tychon, Tychon and... Tychošnik.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №95609
 20.03.2014
I remember a daughter in the first grade decides: “My grandfather and grandmother had 5 goats. They ate one. How many goats are left, first is the reef. Hussey is sorry. Then he starts adding all-grandfather, grandmother and goose. I say – what are you doing? Why do you add Grandpa and Grandpa? She thinks for a long time, and then shouts joyfully – I understand... They need to be taken from the goats! And then the goats will be whole!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №95608
 20.03.2014
Last year’s story took a new turn:
It was under the new year.
Deep evening, closer to night. Under the windows they smoke, and in the whole voice a bunch of students-puddles. Mom can't stand it and decides to punish this codle: takes the camera with the flash and clicks "in the emptiness" several times from the window to scare. Students on the street instantly silence, after a few seconds the most courageous shouts:
"What are you doing here?" What are you doing here?"
"Yes", - answers mom, - "You violate the rules of residence, and so - you will be expelled and places will be released!
Within a minute, the whole bunch of smokers evaporated.
and our days.
The incident is gradually forgotten. Evening is closer to night. Beyond the windows, they smoke again and whistle with an unpleasant whispering female voice. The mom takes the camera and makes a couple of “targeting” clicks (must have a flash to notice) from the window. There was a long and thoughtful silence behind the windows. The question is "Why are you there – do you photograph us"? Nifiga like this - a thoughtful voice from the crowd (very similar to the previous one) broadcasts:
I know, she will show these pictures to the commander, and he will put them on us afterwards. I have to go out and")))))
Public Saratoga Radio directly in action

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95607
 20.03.2014
and the most hanging shirts, sweaters, jackets, jackets with sleeves to the knees, and sewn clearly on office worms with a biceps cover as at the foot of the chair. I’m not an athlete, but my hands are stuck in these cocktail tubes.
— — —
Women are the same, bro. I am size xxs, while in some jackets and jackets you can only walk with straight hands, because it is no longer bend, and in the waist is very free. I understand so that instead of a mannequin they have a snowmen - a swallowed shoulder with hands from sticks.)))

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №95606
 20.03.2014
From the Fire:
“Aeroflot” on the transatlantic now shows “our movies” with English subtitles:
I am taken to the army. (I am drafted)
Who is? WHO?
Grandfather of Pistoia! and Santa Claus!

Lyuudk, hey Lyuudk!

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95605
 20.03.2014
I’m not quarrelling, I’m talking like that. I explain to people in a language they understand what they have to do.
Yuri: Everyone is happy
Michael : I understand. The client programming language. Tagged with++)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №95604
 20.03.2014
briefly about football: Dortmund-Zenit, 59 minutes, German commentator "Jose Rondon replaces Alexander Kerzhakov... well as replaces... say so, the Russians have an attacker" O_O kerzhakoved is not forgotten and his business lives

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №95603
 20.03.2014
The difference in social life was reflected by the Ukrainian whore who works in Russia:
In Russia you are eut and for this you get money, and in Ukraine you are eut and you still remain must!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №95602
 20.03.2014
I live in Crimea, I feel like we are now Russia,
The invitation to the referendum came two days after the referendum :)
P. S. is probably part of the truth in the jokes about the Russian post

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №95601
 20.03.2014
Dialogue with the manager:

Q. Why is my phone not working?

- <connect to the network in settings>

and oh. How did you do it?

I used force.

The power of what?

It is midiclorian.

and Fu! The evil! Why do you say this to me?"

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №95600
 20.03.2014
At one of the Ubuntu forums, a newbie asked the question:
XXX:.. after entering this command sudo dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/sda everything is gone
No need for viruses. Users are washing themselves.

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