bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №128357
 20.05.2016
I know, we are rescuers and firefighters volunteers, always in the woods, then in the field, we help someone out of difficult situations. Is there a volunteer in nature? He sits down somewhere in the village and thinks he’d like a dissident to write for someone or call 180 people. And the schedule of riding and mounting would be the most juice for him in general. And it was all free, yesterday, of course.
The universe is an ever-expanding entropy, and a volunteer manager must be there.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №128356
 20.05.2016
diamond: it is now fashionable to look like a woodcut, which does not tear wood and takes care of itself to please other woodcut

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №128355
 20.05.2016
When I see how much we pay taxes, the counter immediately turns on in my head - how many apartments can be bought for this...

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №128354
 20.05.2016
brought the dog. Now the cookies can be eaten either locked in the room, or under a loud whisper in the ear and pulling the ear from a cup of coffee.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128353
 20.05.2016
Explain the humanitarian, what is oprotat - how to explain to a five-year-old child, what is lust: the interlocutor in the body lacks the necessary hormones to understand the issue.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №128352
 20.05.2016
JB: What are you doing now?
XXX: All in brief and deadlines
JB: I’m slowly removing you from Brainstorm.
xxx: my ideas are covered with dirt and drafts begin to swell
jb: browse the portfolio and get the most tempting insights
xxx: my presentation is all burning by exhaustion, I shake your golden lion with trembling hands
jb: I passionately take your fonts and start playing with visuals
XXX: I make the last effort and sit down on the chair.
jb: I enter the position of the client and sharply reduce the budget
xxx: sent the final version to the account manager and smoked

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №128351
 20.05.2016
Tagged 20366
with the return.
At first, you advocated not to allow large mirrors with healthy lenses, with which evil pedophiles take off children.
Then he began to convince that in Europe, when buying a solder, the gendarmerie arrives and is suspected of conspiracy against the state.

Now your obsession with madness (or, rather, the most banal trolling) wants to encourage you to ban more technology.

The fact is that for the manufacture of a "smart" bomb, or analyzer, any modern smartphone is enough. Even nanosatellites do on the basis of quite stock smarts. The pattern of powerful single-platform computers is completely identical to that of, say, tablets, and in the most compact - in general, one chip, with a minimum of bandage and legs.

Progress cannot be stopped, whether you want it or not. Phone calls are no longer banned. But the paradox: 99% of users use them and will use them for their direct purpose: to run birds in pigs and rewrite in sores networks.

So, fucking, put your wet fantasies deeper.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №128350
 20.05.2016
As a child, no matter how I broke toys, my parents told me that at night they revived and could get away from anyone who treated them badly. I didn’t really want it, I worried all night that they would get to the bad boy. The next day I pulled out all the toys or broke my legs. Whatever they leave. To the bad. The boy.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №128349
 20.05.2016
Session of group psychotherapy in a psychiatric dispenser. Participants: men aged 40-50, alcoholics with experience. Leading: a psychologist girl who just got to work after the institute. With a thin, crumbling voice, he reads a 30-minute lecture on the harm of alcoholism: alcohol destroys families, health, etc. Then he says, “And now it’s a group discussion. What do you think about what you say?” A minute of silence. He raises his hand and says, “Girl, I totally agree with you! But sometimes it is impossible to resist. I recently met a friend I had not seen for five years. What without this matter? We took cucumbers, a bubble...” And Vasya describes in detail the use of vodka with friend. This topic is picked up by the second person, the third... For half an hour, the participants, formally expressing criticism of alcoholism, tasted the details of the consumption of alcoholic beverages.



None of them came to the next class. Everyone went to drink.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128348
 20.05.2016
I think that the ancients created the law not for the purpose of imposing the will of the ruling class, as Iljić argued, but solely for the sake that the people would not break each other foolishly.)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №128347
 20.05.2016
Nearby people, meeting, exchange complaints about life. When wise people meet, they exchange jokes.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №128346
 20.05.2016
A friend told her about the situation that happened to her in the auto school. She goes, therefore, with the instructor on the streets of Peter. Summer and heat. In the traffic jams of a large city, in a car without air conditioning the wildest spirits. Stop at the intersection, then the following dialogue (Z - acquaintance, I - instructor):
by Z. Oh, this is the heat!
by Z. Now I would go to the lake, to the water, to the cool.
I is. We have gone!
by Z. What? what? I will not go anywhere with you!
I is. The Green! They Drived!

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №128345
 20.05.2016
The Defense Minister is gay.
You will think. We have the whole government – piddars.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №128344
 20.05.2016
When I was in fifth grade, I had a bunch of stickers with naked women. I don’t remember where I came from, I’ve probably changed something. These labels were carefully hidden from their parents. The child’s brains still realized that they (parents) would not be delighted with the new hobbies of the son.

But then one day it happened that my mom was putting these stickers during the cleaning (or the search?) I found. I'm naturally in tears, what else? But my parents, to my surprise, did not grieve. That evening I heard a whole lecture on the subject "Nude - it is normal and not shameful" adorned with pictures of ancient statues from the book "Legends and myths of Ancient Greece".

The next day my parents came to school. I covered the entire diary with these labels. and what? No reason to be ashamed!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №128343
 20.05.2016
In the night of the 1001 Nights:
and.
And there came with him a young woman of thin shape, with a tall chest, a hardened eye and an oval face, with a thick body and heavy hips, in the best clothes, which are of clothes, and with
The saliva was sweeter than the patata, and her stall was thinner than the flexible branches and speech was gentler than the wind at dawn.
and.
Together we thought, and "saliva is sweeter than patches" - why?
and.
I decided it was convenient - if anything, I could spit in the tea :)))))

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №128342
 20.05.2016
From the GMO...

XHH: Soldiers have been destroyed and genetically modified? That is, the use of herbicides to destroy vegetation is the use of GMOs for production? Do you have a secondary special education? Logic has passed?
According to your logic:
Electricity is evil. For its production, turbines are used on the hydroelectric power plant, and if you drive a person into a turbine, it turns him into meat.
Mobile communication is evil. For her towers are built, and if a person is planted on this tower and does not give food and water, he dies.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №128341
 20.05.2016
The Beach

I don't know how you do in the country, but on the territory of most resorts of the former Union, there has long been a rule "If someone doesn't like something, then he collects his clothes and walks a hundred meters on the beach further!"

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №128340
 20.05.2016
Russia is such a country in which even visiting jehovists after six months begin to drink and mate.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №128339
 20.05.2016
Inscription on the gazelle:
Take care of my children’s mothers, I’m growing up.
Someone has written:
We are not afraid of the boy, he was born blue.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128338
 20.05.2016
On May 20, St. Petersburg will take part in the all-Russian action "On Bicycle Work". I, as a beginner driver, perceive such an announcement as a threat. Why is?
1st Damn with them, with cycling routes, which are not, but 80% of cyclists did not open the traffic rules, and know at the level of "red - you can't go". and all. Because you don’t have to get rights. Drawing the manoeuvres? Go to...?
2nd I went to the site of these... "If you are more comfortable with a helmet and reflective clothes, buy both." Yes @#%^$! To kill such counselors. "Let’s be quiet" Reflective clothes and helmets are obligatory. If you want to live, of course, because you are not seen.
Three 20 They promise to be crowds. One such crowd in another run for an hour blocked traffic on the prospectus. "Fire in Hell!" in Yandex.Navigator was even the mildest wish.
Conclusion: Get out on the road - be more adequate. We are significantly different from you, and I would not like to find out the details of the difference in practice.

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