bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113683
 20.05.2015
Due to the descent from the heavens "Progress" and in order to improve the qualification of popes in their consecration of space ships, the Department of Space Systems and Rocket Engineering was formed in the spiritual academy.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №113682
 20.05.2015
Chapter 1717 - Don't Be Sad! If the girls are completely unhappy, there is another option! In our country for this has long not been planted, and some places in the West even marriage will be officially registered. Good luck in finding your second half!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113681
 20.05.2015
In the days of Dumas, Aramis’ modest two rooms could be both houses of 40 squares each, and really cages, where a table, a chair, a closet and a couch could barely fit. However, given the Siberian character and his night guests, including the Duchess, I tend to the first option. On the other hand, his servant lived. Did Duma not write that the servant had a separate dwelling?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №113680
 20.05.2015
by George Zotov:

I am sitting in a standing chaikhane on the outskirts of Dushanbe.
Background music – as usual in the East. Something there with transfusions + something in Russian with the same transfusions of type ай, beautiful, I love, ай what you are so and so.
And here suddenly include the "Metalic" - Enter Sandman, from the 1991 disc. And a decent noise. I think I suddenly got into another dimension. Moreover, one of the Tajiks in the Chaikhan begins to depict under the monsoon as he plays guitar and beats and shakes imaginary haer. Other visitors do not support him, but look favorably.
I was blinking. Heavy metal is the law. ours in the city.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113679
 20.05.2015
Why am I shy in the morning? The morning. The Tuesday morning.
YYY: Today is Wednesday.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113678
 20.05.2015
YYU: There is a legend that the indigenous Moscovites never changed the milk...

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №113677
 20.05.2015
Why on inflatable mattresses in Russian they write "Swimming in the open sea is forbidden", and in other languages - not always? Because the only additional threat to life that occurs when swimming on a mattress in the sea (not in a pond or pool) is that the wind takes it away from the shore with a person. Why are they only written in Russian? Yes, because only the Russian people do not throw their mattress in such a situation in time to escape floating, while the shore is not too far.

[ + 24 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №113676
 20.05.2015
It would be ideal to earn in developed countries and spend in the third world. Many use this – they give up their shell in Khrushchev and go to live in some tropical paradise for the money received, if not as kings, then as white people.
===
This is good for the young freelancer. And living there in general is silly even with money, because with medicine / law / education there is a shit. Places are full.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113675
 20.05.2015
and LIFHACK:
Do not commit suicide in a bad mood.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №113674
 20.05.2015
I'm probably a fool *facepalm*
YYY: What is it?
For lunch, she went to the park with her pledge – they will fall by the lake, they will warm up in the sun. You know, there is a lot of life around. When she almost got to the office, she found a panically running ants on her shoulder.
YYY: And what then?
XXX: I had to go back home. I immediately remembered the cartoon about the journey of the ants and as I realized how much it would take my 10-minute walk - it was very sorry for him!
YYY: But you were late to work.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №113673
 20.05.2015
My son, go home!
I’ll play for another 10 minutes.
You did not understand? to home!
“Mom, I’m a fashion DJ, there’s a full club, but let’s play, welcome!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №113672
 20.05.2015
I have seen, I tell you the truth! I saw that He had already sharpened His crushing blades! I saw that He had already poured gasoline into half a barrel of beer! I saw that He had already put new batteries in His alarm clock! On Saturday at dawn, it will be at your windows! A man with a gasoline!! to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113671
 20.05.2015
Nikita Mikhalkov completed the process of patenting all words in all of his films.
And he got the right to claim 1% for every use of them anywhere.

Moreover, the burden of proof that the contested word has nothing to do with a particular film is imposed on the copyright infringer.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113670
 20.05.2015
The main thing is not to drop the box on your leg.
YYY: but it is better to guard the head, the leg is duplicated, the evolution is like the ass.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113669
 20.05.2015
We are united by unrealistic dreams.
2: O_o
Do you want to explore space on a spacecraft?
1: Breakfast in the morning.
2: Yes, this is also

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №113668
 20.05.2015
xxx: a friend once wrote a text message to his son (wheels for the car brought and salad leaves had to be bought in the food): "Wheels brought, you will return - buy me herbs", and sent by mistake to his boss, he replied:"I always knew that you were torching on something"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113667
 20.05.2015
I go to work with my brother in his car on the street with far from the best asphalt cover. On the left, between the parked cars, a dog comes out, the brother slows down - little will blink into the head of the animal. And the dog departing from the cars to the center of the road half a meter sits "on a large" almost above the hole.
Look what he creates!
The roads are shit! and :-)
A large repair...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113666
 20.05.2015
I talked good today. Our client is D.G. They talked so deeply)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №113665
 20.05.2015
How is 4D? O_0
It’s like a chair and a chair, and it’s like smoke in your face and like water, and it’s like an accident in a movie, and you’re like a fucking chair and you’re like a fucking chair!! to
somehow so)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113664
 20.05.2015
Quote from the summary:

“Work: It doesn’t matter, it’s very needed.”
“Why do I get to work – I’m sick with the computer?”
I know everything, I know everything, if I don’t know, I learn quickly. The problem is that there is no time.”
Special information: no bad habits.
“I read English freely, I write with mistakes, I speak badly, I hear the eye. Badly »
“Genius drawer from God, I will fill any texts so that they are starry. Plus, if desired, correction and editing (also brilliant). People are crying of joy watching my work.”
“I drink, but without fanaticism.”
“The job is next to the subway, I’m not an athlete, I’m not going to run.”

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna