No one’s home. I invited the girl. Before she arrives, I call my mother:

Are you standing or sitting?
M: I stand...
I : sit down.
M: What has happened?! to
I: Are you sitting?
M is yes.
I: Where to wipe the dust?

Do not blaspheme an animal because it has reminded you of the floor, for we do the same with nature!

This grey creature I saw at the entrance of the house where I previously lived, visiting a friend. The question is “who’s the cat?” A friend shrugged his shoulders and said that it was probably a deception, then it appeared here, then it disappeared for a few days. I liked the cat very much and decided to take her home, despite possible objections from my parents. But, no, concerns about the emergence of the conflict did not be justified, the coffin eventually became a popular favorite, acquiring the legitimate status of a family member and the name - the nickname of Marysia.
I must say that the love was mutual – Mariya also loved us. In other words, she survived completely.
Cats have one feature that significantly differentiates them from cats – they get pregnant. This is the first time my mother swallowed her stomach. During this time, Marysie’s appetite for food increased and she stepped the path from the cups to the refrigerator, near which she wore until the food from it moved into her cups. She ate the same thing as us, but much more often than us, plus all the fish I caught, in the late stages of pregnancy, while walking, Mariskino Puziko was already scratching on the floor.
It was Saturday night. My parents were in guests, and I was about to leave when Marisa was tired of giving birth. She ran after me.
“The tail,” she waved and led to the box that we placed for her for birth. In it she was sitting while I was talking to her, I had to try to get away as she jumped out and, mocking, ran after me - Marysia obviously didn't want to stay alone in this significant moment of firstborn.
H-yes, and I had to go, and I couldn’t care about the feelings of the favorite either. The exit was found. I spoke with her for half an hour, recording my speech on a magnetophone, and then turned on the recording of this monologue, putting the magnetophone in front of the box on a chair. I went out of the room - he sat, approached the door of the apartment - did not run, and I quietly left.
Returning home in the morning, Marysey was met, whispering with the "Motorchik from the tractor Belarus" in all power. Not in a hurry, she took me to the box.
To jump into her didn’t start, looking at her, then at me, as if asking, “How did I get it?” It turned out to be wonderful - in the box, there were five small marysets whispering and whispering!
P.S. Subsequently, I recorded the clock tape of my monologue, because in subsequent births Marysia did not want to give birth alone. Only when listening to this recording she calmed down, sat in the box, did not run after us around the apartment, risking to give birth wherever it would be necessary.

The President promised that soon the roads in Russia will be the same as in Germany. The first 200 bulldozers have already been sent to Germany.

How did you fuck me with your sound drugs!!! to

I never thought that Gaussian blur in Photoshop could be called Gaussian blur.

Fialka (11:11:52 17/07/2009)
Unfortunately, you are not an artist.
The House (11:12:05 17/07/2009)
Yes (
The House (11:12:10 17/07/2009)
I can paint a game.
The House (11:12:13 17/07/2009)
or Pushkin
The House (11:12:18 17/07/2009)
You cannot distinguish one from the other.
Fialka (11:12:23 17/07/2009)
ROFL

How long will our children have to pick up an email address?! to

Ward tells me words he doesn’t know, and I don’t even have anything to say to him – I don’t know them either.

from JJ:
Gay people just fuck through their ass, but the pederastes do absolutely anything through their ass!

Three things contribute to good sleep: a clean conscience, a soft pillow, and a lack of internet.

<BloodHorse>

Russian-Finnish border, customs, bus, person 25 students.. enters Finnish customs officer perfectly speaking Russian begins.. "vodka, cigarettes...bla bla is there?" unstructured choir of voices whispering something like NO... FINN EXPOSES : AND WHEN TO SEEK? The bus drowns in a homeric whistle, the eyes of the Finn needed to be seen :)) Then when he was explained what this harmless phrase meant on the dark streets of Russian cities he also laughed for a long time :)