I have long fingers on my feet. And I’ve always thought, is Nafta for me? Until then, he was lying in a hospital bed with bars in his back. I always fall asleep a long time, struggling a long time. And then the legs themselves grabbed the stucco with a dead grip and... I quickly and sweetly fell asleep!

Thank you, grandfather Darwin, for explaining a lot about human nature. Now I’m sure I won’t fall from a tree and can sleep peacefully.

My grandmother was from, softly to say, not a very well-to-do family. Her parents and 4 children lived in a room where there were 5 families. All in 15 square meters. I can hardly imagine this, but according to the stories, we slept there in turn, and the lessons went to the district library. Food - pasta on vegetable oil, potatoes - on it. On the feast - white bread and cooked egg.

And here she got married...She is a beautiful student of MGU, he is a beautiful geologist. One day she moved to her husband’s parents. And there is a housewife, coffee in the morning, all the work.

The mother-in-law, in order to show the reception of the bride, arranged a "happy dinner". Chicken, fish, forshake... I cooked it all myself.

And my grandmother, who saw the fried chicken for the first time in her life, said, “Thank you, but I don’t like the chicken!”

For the next 20 years, at all family celebrations, the mother-in-law said, "Oh, love the chicken don't put... she doesn't love! “”

And here, when the grandmother finally decided to admit - that she loves the chicken, only embarrassed then, the mother-in-law issued a brilliant phrase: "Oh... stupid you are! She would say to me, "Mommy, let me help you bring the salad," I would tell you all in the kitchen quietly! You think I knew it all when the Harkov housewife suddenly became the wife of the ambassador! “”

The lesson. I now, if I don’t know something, or I don’t understand, I say it right away – because a man can’t know everything ?

A long time ago I flew from Petropavlovsk-Kamchatsky to Moscow (at that time, the cannons were still flying there). Next to me, a girl was flying to school. They began to spread food, I took chicken with rice, and my companion refused to eat. They flew for a long time, then landed at a gas station in Kemerovo, where they stayed longer than necessary. Then, after taking off, they started feeding again, I picked up the fish, and the girl again refused. He doesn’t want and doesn’t want, it’s his business. And I eat and side-sightedly notice that the girl is looking at my food with hungry eyes. I talked to her at the end of the flight. I ask her, the flight is long, are you on a diet? And she, getting red, admitted that she had no extra money for lunch. You would see her eyes full of pain and disappointment when I told her that food was included in the ticket price.

When the salary allowed (I worked in the RSC), I decided somehow to transfer to Birthdays all pleasant people (friends, friends, relatives) 1000 rubles. This is a relentless financial, and for a person a pleasant addition to congratulations. I’ve been congratulating everyone for two and a half years.

One day I ran and didn’t have time to “happy” Andrew. He didn’t let go, called me and asked where his “stitch” was, because he was counting on it. And yes, if I wonder, then none of them has ever answered the same (although that was not the goal).

“Well, Sir, have you not seen me for a long time, where do you work?

I serve in the FSB.

Tell me something interesting!

About you or about yourself?

I was a hardcore botan with autistic traits in the first three classes: I didn’t communicate with anyone, I knew everything, I went out on any occasion, I was afraid of what wasn’t scary, and so on. I was not liked by my classmates for this, but they did not decide to bully because of the fact that my mother was constantly turning in school, engaged in public activities.

We had work lessons, all kinds of stuff was glued out of plasticine and bars. Well, I decided to stand out and pick up a piece of pollen from the street, on which for two lessons I fixed some composition. I got a fifth, the teacher praised, I threw this pollen into the bag of change and forgot about it. I forgot it because I brought it back to school the next day.

I go to school, take off my jacket, start changing clothes. One of the hooligans runs, pulls off the shoes, and runs away. I am in Aachen. I put on a swing, he returns and begins to irritate, say I threw your shoes into the female sort, botan - go, get it. And it’s worth playing, like, go, beat me, what you’re going to do to me, shit. How wrong he was...

I automatically remove the sack with the sludge, from all my third-class child, and land it precisely in the head of the hooligan. He cried like a sliced pig, fell, bleeding on the floor... And since the elders were pushing here, it was not clear who was kidding him, no one saw it and everything there. I quickly grabbed the straw and ran into the sortry, because I thought I had killed him naked. The pollen is buried in the garbage, this is a healthy tank with mint paper for the most part. Behind the garbage he found his shoes hidden by the hooligans.

He calmed down and came to class without delay. The lesson begins, there is no hooligan, but the portfolio lies - the teacher asks where this duo is worn. Here the door opens, the nurse enters, the hooligan begins: he is all in the blood, the head is cluttered, shakes, roars. Student in the wild: “Where were you? What has He created?” "It's not me, it's the ooooon" and thinks at me, sitting on the first batch, with a finger. "You don't hold me stupid, he is a distinguished and quiet man, he will not hurt the flies. Let’s go, let’s go, with whom I fought,” He again points to me. And I fell into a stupor with fear and sat down with a poker face. “He’s changing laughter.” The puppet takes away from me, there are light blowing boots that weigh nihuya, and very soft... In short, he never believed that I was fucking him.

None of the fucking ones did bother me anymore.