bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №129748
 21.06.2016
Man dreamed of a cat and a shepherd. He got two-in-one: a chihuahua of shepherd color, who can sleep, snoop and lick. What can a man be dissatisfied with?
Do you want each animal individually?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №129747
 21.06.2016
English courses, courses

Teacher: Do not use the word "must", "could" or "Would", because "must" is a very strong word, it obligates and compels to perform; do or die! It is used in harsh conditions.
It can be used in the army.
Or in the area.
Zzzz: And who else was there?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №129746
 21.06.2016
Approximately half of what you named belongs to the list of professions in which it is forbidden to take women because of harmful or dangerous working conditions.<> Read this list of the two-thousand-year edition - there are several hundred professions in which a man is not sorry.

Who is not sorry? Who does not regret men who bury their health at work?
I think that most women are unfortunate and most women are just rushing to stand up or take over their lives, so that the stumbling feeder even after the shift lay down.
And not a pity, I think, those whose salary is "up to the knee", vacation abroad, travel everywhere paid and instead of vacation "holidays". One such recently directly in the air laughed that, well, the 12-meter conu in the multi-storey are in demand among the population (((
And no, the problem is not that he is not a woman by gender.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №129745
 21.06.2016
Match Russia - Wales, in the frame of the Russian child-patient
The kids are sorry
XHH: They can’t leave anyone away.
Tag: after the match
HHH: And they can

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №129744
 21.06.2016
It is so hot that you don’t even want to turn on the solder.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №129743
 21.06.2016
The Corporate Chat:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Eat bananas, they are in the kitchen!! to

yyy [10:05]
The reason?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The right changed!! to

yyy [10:05]
Hurry to! We are old!

zzz [10:05]
And the bananas?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №129742
 21.06.2016
At the box, a man in front of me slowly puts out foods, including one nectarine. one one. The treasurer breaks through all the products, weighs the single fruit, calls the amount, the man pays, and, breaking the products in packs, handes nectarine to the seller. A little embarrassed, “Is it me?”

The man: “No, instead of what I ate, let them take it.”

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №129741
 21.06.2016
The provider appears to be cheating. The channel falls, I call the TP to argue, and there the robot with a joyful-self-satisfied tone moves:"Hello! Do you have internet? We have it!"
This is shit.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №129740
 21.06.2016
I don’t understand one thing: why are men so outraged by the women’s struggle for their rights? Are women going to take away some rights from men, or are they going to hang some duties? In what way? Explain, guys, what you are so afraid of.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №129739
 21.06.2016
hdfan2 21 June 2016 at 07:04

But for 39 years I have been persistently and purposefully renewing the cells of my body. And I must note that there has been significant progress in this ;)

“From the outside it may seem like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m terribly busy.”

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №129738
 21.06.2016
Theft of cold beer was uncovered on hot tracks.

(Title of the title)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №129737
 21.06.2016
“Children, the subject of our lesson today is the Inquisition. I will tell you about how the church burned people alive. Who will have questions?

Are there laboratories?

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129736
 21.06.2016
One day I was invited to interview a company that was dealing with some type of building material. I was interviewed by Eich-Ar and a local boss, edak thirty years old. And I, in addition to the standard questions and logic tasks (until now I have not understood for which time they were needed there), asked the question: "why does the sewer have a round shape?". I began to explain that the round shape and the difference in diameter between the hole and the hole of the well is essentially a basic safety measure that prevents the hole from falling inside in the event of mechanical damage to the holding ear, the hole on the hole of a different shape, etc. The two listened, and after my answer, they said, “No. Luc has a round shape because it is made by GOST!" They looked at me as victoriously as Caesar looked at the captured city. There was an uncomfortable pause. Then I quietly stood up and went out.



The company, by the way, soon collapsed. Just because there were idiots working in it.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129735
 21.06.2016
////
You see, and the telch just need to be born beautiful and the result will be 10 times better. No need to build muscles, nor charisma and charm.
/////////
Probably you are not in the topic that a girl to have a commodity appearance need to invest. It’s not just about changing socks and shaving.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №129734
 21.06.2016
Russia vs Wales 0-3

Nothing after the match as usual beer drinks in the dressing room

BBB: And here comes Galustyan...

ccc: And the Russian national team in boxing!

ddd: Bggg, the infamous bastards )))

Eee: It was not English supporters that should have been pitched, but these wicked ones.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №129733
 21.06.2016
22 minutes of the match Russia-Wales. I read clearly on the lips of Akinfeev "foolish, foolish".
I guess who he is, the judge, his defender, or about himself.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №129732
 21.06.2016
xxx: By the way, hog is a beard, and wart is a wart. How did we avoid the Swine Fever School?

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129731
 21.06.2016
The phrase of the day (commentator): "How badly it all starts" - at the 20th minute at the 0:2.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №129730
 21.06.2016
Announcement in a free newspaper:
I am changing 15 footballers of Russian origin for one.
Messi is ready to give all Russian Premier League and First Division teams.
Call the Ministry of Sports of Russia
Ask the grief.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №129729
 21.06.2016
In the status I had was "live here and now". Friend asks how to translate, I say translate yourself
He writes the type of leben-it is to live, and here and now and so understandably, it is her and gesture.

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