bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101933
 21.08.2014
Admin thousands of times by phone explains to the accountant how to copy in Excel. The accountant without trying to understand threatens to be dismissed, deprived of a premium, etc., for which the administrator issues:
Do you eat chicken?
Yes, and what then?
Canibalism doesn’t bother you.
and unwaveringly puts the phone

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №101932
 21.08.2014
Sometimes on my own, and more often I go to work with a colleague who lives nearby, on a tayota, not new, but very even nothing, well or on a bus. This year my grandfather bought a penny, 80 g.v. He trusted me to ride it.
Today I go upstairs, another colleague.
It smells of teaspoons.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №101931
 21.08.2014
The Troll:
To the doctor:

I went to my grandmother after the end of the meduniver. Congratulations on the diploma, all the business, and then the grandmother is like this:
“Listen, there is a chicken in my house, go and see what she has with her leg, you’re a doctor!”
Immediately understood all the jokes about programmers and broken outlets!

— — —
And what, chicken bones and cartilage are categorically not as organized as humans? What general knowledge you should have taught. Or below your dignity to help grandmother with some chicken there, fi...
and ==
Do you have a clown or clown in your life?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №101930
 21.08.2014
From the article on the Tesla Model S control system, once announced a week quotation from Khabr:

X: Turn off the heat.
YYY: Five clips of Sasha Grey have been discovered. I reproduce the video.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №101929
 21.08.2014
We were sitting as a group at a seminar, and the teacher told us about the structure of our planet. I don’t really know why, but I had a chemistry workshop. Well, he talks about the Earth’s crust, the nucleus, and so on. Here he pronounces the word "plasma". Immediately one girl, our local attraction, insanely stupid, but beautiful :-), begins to pull her hand.
Prepod: " Do you want to ask something?"
Girl: " yes yes! I know what plasma is!! I have a plasma TV at home, is it made from plasma?and "
Prepod, after a minute of silence and restlessness: "Yes, out of her. The seminar is over, I need to leave, rethink my life."
We only heard then a crazy whisper, moving away in the corridor....)))))

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №101928
 21.08.2014
Chokes :
I frequently bought a vacation. The miniature column.
On the box: "Input Tor charge: 5 Volts"
Evan as...
Chokes :
Could it be included in the charging process?
On the box: "Do not charge the system during operation."
Do I think there is any control over it?
On the box: "Do not charge the system for more than 5 hours."
Well, I think in the ass...
On the box: "Use strictly as intended."

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101927
 21.08.2014
Fuck what! Fuck what! This is how it is written, and no different when you remember!!! to


[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №101926
 21.08.2014
I buy 0.7 vodka in the store. Nearby the man, who has just gotten a fucking beer, shakes so cleverly.
What a celebration? and grit.
I, with poker – In the sense?
It is a celebration, like a drink.
I am an alcoholic, I don’t need a reason.
To see his face is invaluable.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №101925
 21.08.2014
vesenny_aibo: You underestimate the karaoke audience – there are super-professional singing people who want to applaud whatever they sing.
stopmashina: This is how the particles "ni" and "no" radically change the meaning of the answer.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №101924
 21.08.2014
The enemy is someone who encourages your stupidity and hates your mind.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101923
 21.08.2014
We all once studied in school. The event took place in the 10th class of the Physical and Mathematical Lyceum. Before the drawing, of course, none of the students had anything to do. The teacher was very strict on this subject. At the end of the year, people who did not give up work were harshly upset.
Once she asked something to draw there, well, our, of course, forgot and remembered only for the lesson before the drawing. It is too late to move. But here the most stubborn walker had a rescue idea. He asked me for a job (and I always had everything done, I studied well), ran to the computer science office and ransomed it. According to his example, my drawing man 15 decimated...
The lesson begins, 16 guilds sit with the feeling when you barely managed to run to the toilet. The teacher enters:
Hi to you! I hope you have drawn up? Now take the slugs, and I will show you what needs to be wiped out.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №101922
 21.08.2014
The level of thinking of our deputies is such that if a deputy on Tuesday slips and breaks his hand, he will fight not with ice, but with Tuesday.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №101921
 21.08.2014
Mom just told me about a man without a navel. The man was undergoing surgery and whipped.
Yyy: Let’s call it “Adam’s scarring.”
zzz: Repairers generally often remove the seals supplied by the manufacturer if necessary.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №101920
 21.08.2014
The Ministry of Labor has proposed to give the Russians for the New Year 2015 11 weekends.
YYYY:... and change the name of Mintrava to Minotdyha!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №101919
 21.08.2014
The potato is like a potato. If they don’t eat in the summer, they’ll be removed in the autumn. If it does not freeze in winter, it will be planted in spring.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №101918
 21.08.2014
Not so long ago, the neighbor put a password on the Wi-Fi, probably performs a government order, waiting when I bring him a copy of the passport.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №101917
 21.08.2014
You are where? Here George rocks and mosques.
already here. I see. I’ve also been on Skype.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №101916
 21.08.2014
Another American comedy:
"I was so upset! And then I watched that retreat and I was sad."

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №101915
 21.08.2014
Noah is...
""I downloaded a file from the Internet, and I don’t need it. How do I get him back? (c) FidoNet 1990""
Where is the most interesting? Comments on this request. There were also such masterpieces as: because of such as you, files on the Internet are lacking for everyone, etc., I don't immediately remember...
Waiting with

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №101914
 21.08.2014
The xxx:
Call and call.
YYYY :
I can’t, my mom is sitting behind her back.
The xxx:
Listen to X)
YYYY :
Nine is
He will say
That there is for you.
to introduce
It will force you to come
married
Children will have
No is
– – – –

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