lazdik: Oh yeah, I always go for watermelons with a centimeter, and for strawberries with a stang circle.
Pbmaster: the longer, the better it tastes?
lazdik: No, you can take the best, people usually don’t approach the shelf with strawberries when someone chooses them there with a strawberry circuit.

Buying a nightclub in a notorious store, he asked an innocent question to a girl consultant: "What type of lamps are used here?". To which I received in response these eyes: O_O, and the phrase to which I could not say anything: "What light bulbs? It is powered by electricity!"

Coming from lunch, I saw the head of the department in his chair.
After I started shouting, “The owner gave Dobbie clothes, Dobbie is now free!” the chief of the department said he was starting to worry about the level of my moral decline.

You are pretending stupid.
I am not pretending.

There was a stone officer in our brigade. A healthy man, two meters in height.
every fist with a human head. He was a happy man, but he did not drink.
Absolutely. And here, somehow, in an obvious time, the Toli advance, the Toli more,
One stumbled at him. What do you say, Mikhailovich, are you breaking out of the collective?
And Mikhalic calmly says so" Yes, I’m okay but if I drink, you’ll have problems."

Milya asks me: "And in the event of an airplane crash, what will the pilot do? Are they being suspended or fined?
I answer: “Well, usually he dies in an airplane crash.”"
There was a stumbling.

Yesterday in honey. In the center, I had to go to the doctor first, and then if I wanted my husband to go. So one was called to clarify if I had no terrible secrets from my husband, if I did not hide horrible diseases, etc. %) Well, of course - and the child is not from him at all and the term is quite different in fact, that is why I pulled him with me :-) And the husband then said that we were heard behind the door:-D

I just came from an interview with the bank. I sent a resume for one position, and they offered me a smaller position, resonating "we need a person who will immediately come and work, because we have 5 programs in which he must understand. This is an internal banking software that exists only in our bank".
To my question, where the person on the side will find the ability to work with the software that is "only" in your bank, the girl-manager instead of answer could only hang for 20 seconds and translate the conversation to another topic:)) I cried...

With Lepra:
XHH: I’ve done a couple of times that I depicted the presence of a knife.
I just pulled into my pocket, imagining that I had it.

I painted the biceps.

About the cheap cell phone:

"I tried to break it, but it didn’t work. He threw into the asphalt, into the brick wall – nothing to him, only inserts in plastic. Broke and didn’t turn on after 5 hits of the heels on the screen.

The commentary:
What did they say in the service? The guarantee case?

Slying liters of yellow stinking jade near the lawn into the basement.

Good guys, I can say. He is reluctant to smell, so let the whole yard smell. Keep it, the ugly ones.

A friend told me yesterday. She goes into the store with her young man:
What kind of condoms do you have?
The seller (showing): Here are such, such, such...
He: And there are no others?
The Seller: No
He said, “Well, then you wash me!
The girlfriend and the saleswoman fell from laughter under the bench, and he sincerely did not understand why they were cracking.

XXX: Tell me about it. What movie can I watch?
YYY : anybody.

xxx: Bought a big and the same day began dating a girl. A year and a half passed. The big one has not broken yet.

I went to visit the Christians. Kum bought a new car to travel to work. and Porsche. To work he drives like this: he goes out, sits in his Porsche, turns the wheel, goes out and goes back home - from home he works. MDA...

Talk about the future wedding:
...and Tamada will be a pathologist – the happiest person in the hospital
O_O

I understood from my neighbors that it is not necessary to sing karaoke. You need a good vision and a lack of conscience... Well, and a rosette.

I dreamed today. I sit at a large table, in front of me a plate of spaghetti with some sauce. I joyfully start to fill my mouth (hands why that), chew, and I understand that I do not feel the taste, I immediately understand that it is a devil's dream and I am overwhelmed, I turn angrily, I turn the plate on the head of the girl sitting next to me, I wipe my hands on the neighbor's jeans and I wake up outraged. and revenge)

A cat named Stabs took over a town of 900 inhabitants when he was only a few months old. Inhabitants of Tallinn believe that, voting for the weary candidate, they killed two rabbits at once: they got rid of the former hated official and attracted tourists to the town.

The local administration immediately became a must-see point of tourist routes in Alaska – thousands of people come to see and sometimes beat the mayor every year. The Treasury of Talkitna began to be remarkably replenished, and the citizens began to re-elect the cat as mayor year after year. For 15 years of life he has a similar term of public service.

We still think of them as stupid!? to

XXX: Go out for me.
XXX: Tomorrow morning
XXX: No to Tonight
XXX: After work
XXX: I do this job.
XXX: Go out in the morning