bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 45 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57731
 22.12.2011
xxx: I am happy in the morning mint crossed the road, stunned what a sign, and there in the song reference "if mint crossed the road means soon new year"

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №57730
 22.12.2011
Suits a speaker with a mouse of a well-known wireless firm and asks to clean it, i.e. to disassemble and wipe out.. admin with a smart look.... so there is a vacuum!!!. Director: Bl. e, just... buy a new then.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №57729
 22.12.2011
Alexandra: Good afternoon
Alexandra: What a tough day.
[22:28:34] Alexander: In the lie today was...
Sega: voluntarily, but...
[22:29:46] Alexander: as a witness passed, the guy in the store sick aunt grabbed his ass and he complained about lying.... epic fail

[ + 53 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57728
 22.12.2011
was sick. I didn’t go to work, I was down until 12 a.m. and... my mistake was to have breakfast under the TV... What’s going on at this time, you need to be banned by federal law! What a crazy transmission about health, obviously an abnormal aunt is saying that you need to listen to your body as a whole and to each organ in particular... I will try literally: "even when I sit in the toilet, I mentally ask my fifth point - well, all, done? Can I be free? Or are we sitting down and working? Because you can’t do everything on the run!"... fucking...

[ + 68 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57727
 22.12.2011
We answered:

Guys, don’t you think that choosing a girl looking exclusively at pop-breast legs is like buying a laptop just because it’s red?

If the laptop is purchased only to plug the flash in the USB connectors and watch a movie, why not take a red, blue or what is pleasant to the eye?

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №57726
 22.12.2011
Two trades on the local forum almost in a row
1st
British scientists have found that men who betray their wives are latent homosexuals.
2 is
today I dreamed that the guy is deceiving me.. waking up in a cold sweat, I look at him, quietly bumping around myself, and no suspicion of anything..to fall asleep so I couldn't, so I went to look for evidence..and found a message from the address Valer with the text "good night Rabbit"

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №57725
 22.12.2011
Survey on Facebook:

How to stay with her at night?

Providing breakfast in bed

Bringing the Sumeric Trilogy

Install it on your computer WOW

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №57724
 22.12.2011
xxx: I have a question to you, as a professional, as a person with enormous experience in any field
YYY: No, don’t make me crazy. What is the question?
Why are Angry Birds pigs green?
YYY: ROFL

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №57723
 22.12.2011
The lawmaker had a favorite phrase "No one can be considered guilty until his guilt is proven".
Did you read anything again?
No one can be held guilty until his guilt is proven.
Well, here is another matter.

You haven’t prepared for the exam.
No one can be held guilty until his guilt is proven.
Well, there is something to talk to you.

You wrote everything.
No one can be held guilty until his guilt is proven.
Give me a look 😉

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №57722
 22.12.2011
What’s going on with Rita?
Tomorrow I’ll go out and ask about the guy.
YYY: It turns out he has it.
YYY: And I’ll go naked.
YYY: that is all.
xxx: mm, plan is planned, by points thought out

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57721
 22.12.2011
For many people, walking with time is like standing in a traffic jamming.

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57720
 22.12.2011
My friend’s son entered the U.S. police. He began to travel (as he dreamed) in a service car with a flashlight and a syrene, violating any rules and speed limits. In the rear compartment of such a car there is a camera for the arrested, where a person is only enough to press, to block the door behind him, and nowhere for nothing to get out - the doors are immediately automatically silently locked.

However, it soon became apparent that the arrested had a very unpleasant manner of expressing their disrespect to the police officer by splashing his head back to them through the window connecting the compartments of the car. Moreover, the policeman can do nothing, because he is driving the car at this time and looks at the road, not the arrested, to notice who of them spit?

The Russian sage immediately suggested to the new police officer a brilliant rationalizing idea: to insert an unbreakable glass into the hole and thus to forever protect his neck from plugs. He asked his more advanced brother to help with the installation of this glass. But to do this on the territory of the police station feared - it is unknown: how this innovation will be treated by the bosses and colleagues. Another good thing will be jealous and invited somewhere, that the newcomer will see if the plowks are scared and rework the car without permission.

We left the city in a deserted place, turned off the shutdown and alarm system, successfully installed the glass, but after that, for some reason, the camera stopped locking. Whatever our masters did with it, it elementarily opened from the inside. That is, any arrested person could at any moment press the door pen and escape. Time was squeezing, it was time to hand over the car and the shift, the brothers were wet in hard work, but could not do anything with the cursed door and its lock.

And finally, their stubbornness was rewarded: the door clogged exactly as it was supposed – intentionally, without the slightest hope for the arrested to get out of the car. It is only a pity that this deserved success came to the brothers precisely at the time when they were both in that same chamber. And a place to modernize the car, do not forget, they chose the most that is unpopular.

Now the police of the city no longer have problems with the difficult surname of their new colleague: everyone immediately understands who it is, if you simply say "who locks himself in the car."

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №57719
 22.12.2011
If a woman has no clothes, that doesn’t mean she trusts you.
If you don’t have makeup, then yes.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna