Whoever dines with a girl, dances with her.
It happens that you dance the girl and you think, fucking, it would be better not to eat dinner!

What will we do tomorrow, Brain?
- The same as today, Pinki, update the contact!

A guy and a girl discuss why the car did not start at -25 and how to start it correctly.
Q:...you understand — you poured the candles, so you didn’t go. You can’t turn the starter several times in a row, it’s not summer. Gasoline enters the engine, but does not evaporate and does not go anywhere. The candles become raw and do not give a spark.
D: How is it?
Q: If the car fails to freeze from the first attempt, you have to wait about a minute or less before trying to start it a second time. For example, I think of myself by 30.
D: And why all this shit?
Q: At first, the battery will rest a little, but that’s not the main thing. The main thing is that at such a low temperature, gasoline does not have time to evaporate in the cylinder. Gasoline is a liquid, it does not burn by itself. And gasoline vapors burn, but in order for them to burn, it is necessary for steam to form from the liquid, and gasoline evaporates at low temperatures slower than, for example, in the room. In the cylinder a cloud of gasoline steam is formed, it is then, burning, and pushes the piston.
D: What is there? Is something burning?
P: This is not the word burning, there are real explosions happening. You’ve gotten rid of a crap, did you hear it? The engine is 5 times louder.
D: I’m scared...why did you tell me all this? How will I ride now?? to

I wish you in the new year:
wine and vodka factory, 2 wagons,
our money 3 lemons, a vacation for 10, a boat, a yacht, a lexus of a new brand, diamonds a whole train!!! to
For all these gifts, Santa has brought you!!! With New Year!

Kirill: And the thread with the needle to sew the cracked...oh!!!! to

5 year old daughter:
He runs to his mother, hugs her for her legs, looks with doubt, leads her foot with a pen. He says with horror in his voice:
“Mommy, are you turning into an eagle?! to

Davi barely walked away. All of the radio. There is such a broadcast on AutoRadio - Agency of Funny Messages. In the studio trio “Murzilki International”, and here the host Gordeeva reads the news about the Mexican seems to be the company “Minerva”, which set up the production of beer for homosexuals. Type light drink with honey taste, blabla. Here, grit, do you know what signs allow directly by the label to determine the target group of consumers? The men in the studio are silent, she laughs, well, I’m glad you don’t know. and :)
Further a little detail, and at the end of the news, Zahar, who had been silently silent before, suddenly said: "The main thing is that they do not exaggerate with honey, or they will cling." Scuco, I barely slipped under the steering wheel! and :)

I work in a music store, including selling headphones. There is a 20% discount for employees. The guy came, got to work, took on the headphones and we haven’t seen him for a week))

I'm considering buying a kitchen headset on the same scheme.)

Zionkv is today. The night. We lie on waltz. He begins to drive on my hand with his foot. Well, I think it’s itching, I mean. Driving and stopping. Five minutes later, this miracle suddenly disrupts, looks at me with an empty gaze and says, “Bad!” I was in panic, what I think happened? I stopped him, hurled on him: "What is wrong?". Fighting through a dream: "It’s bad that you’re not a grandmother..."