Hmm.. for some reason since you and I began to play with me sharply surrounding individuals of the mud sex.
The wise man, ah.

Do you go to the club with a guy or a girl?
WOW: What are the other options?
I am lost in guessing.
WOW: They wrote on the site: the person who came with a soft toy entrance is free. So I go with a mouse.

But mother, what do I do? I bought a stone, I wanted to burn, but at home there was no pain.
No panic sweaters... Manko panic can’t do that.
Will it give? I don’t like the foil...

A long pause.

You will never get married!!! to

Did the neighbor pay the debt?
I: No, the salary has not been paid yet.
Wife: What is the salary? He is ment!

After he told me about himself, it seemed to me that my horizon was so small that it was a circle.

Why are you interested in Scandinavian traditions and not Slavic?
YYY: The fact is that the Slavic culture was soft (tree, barley, leather), so Christianity easily destroyed virtually all heritage (just burned), and the Scandinavian runic texts remained on stones and iron, many times more than the artifacts.
xxx: Ah, as I sometimes want to do here as you take and make a powerful non-application statement, but I have an istfak behind my back.

Dad is delivering)
If you come in later, you will buy wine. Are they selling you?
I am now selling everything.
P: Why is this?
I: Because I am 21 years old.
P: O_o

My best friend is going to Mongolia. How is she there without me, how am I here without her. Or not here. But without her.
And here I go to the store and think about it all, buy something and cake in a box, and think. I climb the ladder, then I pause to think about a friend, and I think - to go home, and I go, thinking, again about Mongolia, to the toilet.
I approach the door, and I hear the voice behind my back:
Where are you, girl?
I slowly turn. I am tired and a long day, and my girlfriend is leaving. I am poison and sarcasm. Shake in front of the guard with a cake box:
How to Where? I am going to eat cake!
Guardians are: O
And then I notice that in thoughtfulness, without noticing, I pulled out a crazy plastic tape with the inscription "closed".
I am like this: O_O
And I continue:
Once it is closed, you will have to eat at home.
and left.

We were congratulated on February 23rd.
Well, the gifts – it’s all understood, the table there was covered...
And then the boss. She began to speak a speech - long spotted and turned it into a masterpiece with the final phrase - "Looking at you, I would like to wish you first and foremost health!"

The cat has a calendar in March. He even managed to "sign" a stack of documents prepared for a notary. And before, it seemed to me that the requirement of packing every piece of paper in a file was an abomination of bourgeoisie and bullying. As it turns out, this is the precaution of experienced people.
These infectious cats are everywhere.

Calling the taxi service:
Hi to you! The taxi is listening.
Girl, hello to you! Do you have a function of delivering alcohol at home?
There is no such function, we are not robots! The service is...

Namedly we discussed with a friend the law that our great homeland invented (on censorship and marking).
Is it necessary to make age marking on all images?
Oh, such a nonsense...
Is that something that works? I got a 100 ruble note. Look - I show him a chariot in which a guy in a mantle stands, and from underneath it looks like a whistle. Forgot to print the age limit on the banknote, and children under the age of 16 are prohibited from carrying 100 ruble banknotes.)
Imagine the situation - the guy leaves the house, looks to the side - no one. He collapses from the side of the store. I don’t know where the puppets came from. The inspector screams at the railway - "Hunt him! He has an unchanged table!and "
A couple rushing into the store almost crying from the boxer’s threshold:
Change the table! Congratulations to!! to
Nothing...
Q4 is faster.! to
Have a passport? Cigarettes are only 18 years old.
Aaaah!! to
Accepted a guy...
We stood up, laughed, and then thought - this is Russia, everything is possible here.

Day: Yes, I am not about it.
I understand, but talking to girls is a difficult thing. They will either hear it wrong, or they will answer it wrong, or they will understand something else, even their own foolishness.

HK: Recently one Englishman came to us. He told us how we are working wrong, how we are doing things wrong... And at the end he added that it is because we are Russians and we can’t do anything normal.
We talked about him and decided to hit, went for a break. And I always take a good leaf tea with me to work, I immediately make myself and drink. I put to cook, went for sugar, I come back - this shit drinks my tea! I ask :
Do you like?
Very good tea, Ceylon tea.
No to Boston.
He did not talk to me anymore.)

* discussion of the video of Bocariak, where Americans in the show discuss the Chelyabinsk meteorite and the turfless Russians

The Dark Love
Therefore, we will win the wars) Ktolhu will go on the earth, and we will have it.
Anna_Ariana
We have a beer.)
The Dark Love
and the 4 horsemen of the Apocalypse will be stopped by the first encountering Russian lady))
Anna_Ariana
And after a second, they are already walking and without pants)))

What do we have for breakfast in the morning?
I am a peanut soup.
Husband: It is great! Just tomorrow the shooting, no one will suspect anything. Although... "Comrade XX, we gave you 5 bullets, where are 10 shots from?"
I: You, the main thing, do not start robbing the gyls.

Bread and spectacle. (July to June)
Mushroom and Mushroom! (Adaptation for Facebook users)

The sensation! A record of the fall of a meteorite without mattresses has been found!
Evil languages say that the operator was deaf and alone.

From the project "Response"

Vadik Belan: I want a tattoo on my hand, but I don’t know what to fill!
What kind of tattoo can I put on my hand? Should I have a tattoo?

Andrik is on. "Thanks to you" This is my cat’s name. Actually he is already dead. But the memory will remain.

How to get rid of things?

Go to your wife. and say:
Do you see this thing?
and yes!
This is the most important thing in the world for me! Never give it to anyone. Do not touch your finger. It is very important in my life and work. If it disappears or breaks, I will be very sad. She should always be in sight, I should always be sure that she is in place!
The next day, the wife will break, give, sell, or throw away this thing. Or hide it so that you will never see it again.
All, there is no problem...