bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №113796
 22.05.2015
Varie: The sweetest word in German is ‘turmuhr’. It’s like a mosquito, just a turmoil.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №113795
 22.05.2015
This is Peter, baby.

All my acquaintances after viewing "50 shades of grey" or reviewing it agree in the opinion "me too bdsm". Then they remain silent. Do you still want to come to our city?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113794
 22.05.2015
Kalina is also a car.
and Lada
Autocorrection is suspicious :)

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №113793
 22.05.2015
XXX: And what do the creators of the "Game of Thrones" make for life? The series, in the cinemas do not show (by the way, in vain), on the disks did not see, and in general only pirates and everything. And they take pictures and take pictures, but the niqab is not budget!

YYY: Lannisters are paying...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113792
 22.05.2015
A friend interested in astronomy, after seeing on television the advertisement of the concert with the domestic stars of the show issued:
"And what are these stars, so, brown dwarfs"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113791
 22.05.2015
They discussed a production injury, on the circular covered the fingers of the fingers.
X: TB is written in blood, but the craftsmen are still there
Y: They write

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113790
 22.05.2015
Want to find a place where there is no soul? Live among people.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №113789
 22.05.2015
As one well-known Hindu says, a cow is a sacred animal, but delicious.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №113788
 22.05.2015
I go to the gynecologist for a pregnancy examination. I complain, say, the brains began to fail and maybe I should drink some pills... What the doctor replied to me was late, it was necessary to drink something six months ago and pills such contraceptives are called)))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №113787
 22.05.2015
Explanation of 17331:
but there are just such girls, and I included, who, because of the extremely thin and delicate skin, including the feet, can wipe their legs in general anything and in an arbitrarily chosen place. In my personal accomplishments "what can rub my legs" there are boots, shoes, sweaters and socks.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №113786
 22.05.2015
Lionet: Given the number of fans of colorful horses, it was no longer an electric car, but a bronze train of some sort!

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №113785
 22.05.2015
Please bring this companion:
___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
I work in the acceptance of a guarantee (and not very) repair.
That’s why people talk:
Sorry for the stupidity.
I am probably an idiot...
Well, here I got stuck, and...
Tell the fool...
(The list is not complete)
Are they the most adequate, intelligent, polite and problemless customers?! to

About professional electricians, engineers, programmers and other specialists I want to be killed for stupidity, proximity, but more often for banal lies.
______
There is a law of Dunning-Kruger. That’s what it’s like to be a manifestation ?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113784
 22.05.2015
This morning I found on the social network:
M: Hi, I don’t remember who you are and why you’re in my friends, so I let myself see your photos. Now in the stall. It felt like Walter Mitty had looked at it again. I fell in love, it seems... Where do you come from, angel, and are you really so interesting living?
by 09:22:38

I: You are the husband of my former colleague.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113783
 22.05.2015
>> Men have some sort of shutdown tumble/
Incorporation of fire? Or are they out of fear, sorry, in 2 minutes?
I don’t know why I’ve been with my wife for two minutes.
And with her mistress, over 9000 hours.
— — — —
Surprisingly, a man can react differently to different women and different sexes, just as a woman can react differently to different men.
These and other amazing discoveries are on our educational channel!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113782
 22.05.2015
On dating sites girls don’t respond to me because they think they’re not worthy of me, so my mom says

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113781
 22.05.2015
Why do you call it Iron Man? There are no breakers, no cushions and no chains, all this girl-songwriter?
Railroad Turtles: no brains, no knowledge, populated with prejudices and quotes from VK publications.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №113780
 22.05.2015
You are not on that side:

xxx: I am in shock at the yogurt drinks, what a cover is there. Hands sildenafil, already reduced, bottle smooth, yogurt in the foam! But the cover doesn’t go anyway...
XXX: This is how to lose weight. There is no such problem with cookies. I took and put it in my mouth.

Try eating meat! Then the yogurt covers will start to fly only when you arrive. And to lose weight with this weakness down - you can die :)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113779
 22.05.2015
Russia and Uganda intensify cooperation in the field of IT... chess and mat, lords of IT-shniki!!! to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113778
 22.05.2015
Asked and asked to explain...

> What is it? I can understand sandals, I can understand shoes, boats, and more. Beautiful, and beauty sometimes requires sacrifices in the form of scattered feathers and fingers. But to suffer for... ballet?! to

Ballets are very comfortable shoes. Some women have very delicate skin. And even the most comfortable shoes in the first few days rubs the delicate skin. But this is not a reason to give up comfortable shoes. Therefore, the first days of socks we suffer pain (and this applies to any shoes) - but then not one year we wear with pleasure.

But with this: "And even ready to forgive you absolutely ugly ballets, turning your legs into the likeness of the legs of Disney beasts," - go through the forest. He is ready to forgive...No one has asked for forgiveness from you yet.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №113777
 22.05.2015
According to TV "The girl injured while making a selfie with a traumatic gun shooting herself in the head"
E – Natural selection

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna