bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №150317
 22.05.2018
Summer is the shortest of three months.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №150316
 22.05.2018
My sister is a man.

The phone rings. Masha takes the phone. A beautiful man’s voice:
- I can talk to [my mother's name, a little confused]
“It’s me,” Masha says and does right.
The Sberbank employee speaks to you. Are you born there, are you living there? With her husband, such a number, month, year of birth [all absolutely correct]
Masha answered.
"We inform you that the action "Children of War" under the leadership of Sergei Semenovich Sobyanin is currently taking place, within which all those born in such a period are paid - thousands of rubles. Payment is made by charging funds to the payment card. We inform you that the event is one-time. Please take your bank card in your hand and follow my instructions. Call it...
“Thank you very much,” says Masha, “but your colleagues from Sberbank have already called us and paid all the money.

and pause.

How is it? The Sberbank employee said.
They have already paid everything they owe. Called, warned and transferred money.

and pause.

"But I have written here," there is an employee, "that you have not yet been paid.
“No, don’t worry,” Masha persuades, “we’ve got it all.

and pause!

This cannot be! To the inexpressible pleasure of Masha and the parents present at once, a pleasant male voice finally cries out.
“No,” insists Masha, “we have all been translated. within the action. Do you not know that the action "Children of War" is taking place now - it is conducted by Sergey Semenovich Sobyanin - and for this action payments are made for as many as thousands of rubles. Here we were paid.

Here, says Masha, the interlocutor heard in her voice some inappropriate fun, because -
And swear by! An employee of Sberbank requested.
I swear by the bats. - readily answers Masha (ah, it was a beautiful children's recording, the radio show "Pearls" on Prokofiev's music; favorite replica of Masha's joke and quotes, but where is it to know a pleasant male voice)
What bubbles?! to
— Yes, I’m joking like that, — reassured the interlocutor Masha.
- A-a, joke, - lostly extends no longer such a pleasant voice. What else can you say interesting?
“You’re doing a bad thing,” I thought for a second, my sister responds and hangs the phone.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №150315
 22.05.2018
At the time of the USSR for hockey we were calm, but the players were unpredictable. Now the hockey team is unpredictable, but for football we are completely calm.

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