bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №142409
 22.06.2017
Comments to the news about another American school teacher who slept with a student and made him expensive gifts.

Ggg: I don’t understand why the guy posted this at all?)
PVV: here
VVV: I also don’t understand what he liked.
TTT: You may have been like this: "Son, where do you get such expensive watches? Will the teacher rape you?
“Our son, where did you get these clocks? 7 You are throwing grass? “No, Mom, the teacher is raping me"

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №142408
 22.06.2017
It happens that you leave somewhere your phone number and it will be "miraculously" known to everyone who is not lazy. Banks, all kinds of shops, etc. Today I called a local pizzeria, tell me about all the memorable actions and congratulate me on my birthday. I told them they were wrong and I had my birthday a year ago. They apologized and said they would be more careful...I don’t really like the shares.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №142407
 22.06.2017
It is "Two Thirds Cheaper"

Do you not see the bark in your eye? In your debt box and the solution is contained: don't like - go directly to the manufacturer and buy the product there at the cost, and then bring it home to yourself.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №142406
 22.06.2017
In the interview.
Employer: What can motivate you to resign in the first month of work?
A gross violation by the employer of the labor law.
How rough is it?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №142405
 22.06.2017
Asutr: at the work of the warrant - Moscow urgently needed a report, which no one ever needed. A programmer is out of vacation. He comes, the face swollen, all out of the body... It seemed. I looked at the numbers, the numbers are true. He went and left. In Cyprus, the I print today, and there at the beginning of each paragraph "How did you bite me, puzzles!!!". Reporting tomorrow, what to do?! to

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №142404
 22.06.2017
Novosibirsk, a week for 30, but we are courageously silent, otherwise someone promised to beat skies here.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №142403
 22.06.2017
... and there at the beginning of each paragraph "How you hit me, puzzles!!!". Reporting tomorrow, what to do?! to

"Correct/replace/replace everything" to help...
And in the resume of the podcast "Confident PC user"... How you beat me, puzzles!!! to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №142402
 22.06.2017
The ratings of competent people are worth money, the ham will evaluate you from head to foot absolutely free.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №142401
 22.06.2017
(from the real dialogue)

No, I am not a Jew. Except for my mother...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №142400
 22.06.2017
If you say to any beautiful girl or woman, even a married one, “Yes, a prostitute’t get out of you!” she’ll ask, “That’s why?”

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №142399
 22.06.2017
[21.06, 17:39] Alexei: Smoking is cheap, food is expensive, smoking is low
Alexey: And then they are surprised that people on board the plane behave badly

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №142398
 22.06.2017
here here :
"colbassa" - in the neighboring area, the color of the composition is dark red well and length.

Generation of EVA!
Electricians were called cowboys because they were taken to Moscow for cowboys in the 80s and 90s.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №142397
 22.06.2017
The disappeared breed of dogs Moscow diving - its selection was also engaged in the Red Army: after the Second World War, specialists raised a special breed of dogs capable of participating in rescue operations on water. Only the dog was too aggressive for such a human-loving mission. Moscow divers to the drowning sailors sailed without difficulty, but, apparently, the need to swim the hell knows where for some unknown uncle they were so angry that the victim often had to stumble from the savior...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №142396
 22.06.2017
Post with a gips on which a girl of Asian appearance rotates a burning lighter in her hands.

The comments:

As the saying goes, no matter what you do, there will always be an Asian who does it better than you.
YYY: Who said that?
zzz: Asian who speaks better than you.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №142395
 22.06.2017
In the second grade he wrote in the dictionary dictionary "robOta", t.k. The word “Robot” means “Robot.”
Later, the parents explained that the test word was a slave!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №142394
 22.06.2017
If the man was not scared in the morning, then the grandmother is good!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №142393
 22.06.2017
Dedicated to my father.

To be honest, my mother didn’t care much about me. And in principle, I was satisfied until it was time to do a manicure, buy underwear or do hair removal. She never told me to go or do it together. But my father was always willing to go with me, or just throw me into the shopping center and then take me shopping.
When I was sixteen and the graduation ball was not over, I thought it was time to do a complete depilation and come to school in a beautiful dress, to catch a modest look on my silk-shaped skin. My father did not agree very much with me. But the closer the time to graduate, I became more annoying. Finally, the puppet gave up, but asked for a couple of days to choose a good salon.
He kept his word, as usual. Exactly three days later I was assigned to come to a small but cozy depilation salon. But my father was categorical – anything can be done, except the bikini zone. He was unfaithful. Probably preserving my morality I thought, but I agreed in any case.
Everything went well, I was very pleased with the result. The graduation ball went to the ur. And then the institute and so on. I went to the same salon for five years in a row. I looked there for the last time before moving and my master said he could tell me this story.
My father, before registering me, came to the salon himself and said that he would like to try wax depilation before allowing his daughter to come here. The master was surprised, but the client paid. She cut off her two legs completely, and the next day he called the girl and complained that her upper legs had become very blue. She explained that the bleach is normal, considering the amount of broken hair. That’s why he was against my bikini zone! I couldn’t even imagine that he could do that for my sake.

Dad, I love you!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №142392
 22.06.2017
If I am a quarter Jew, a quarter Chuvash, a quarter Russian and a quarter Finnish-Hungarian, what should I write in the nationality column?
Knowledgeful people suggest that a Jew should write anyway.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №142391
 22.06.2017
What is light but does not heat?
Prison term

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №142390
 22.06.2017
Two weeks of summer heat.
With a plus thirty-four days (specially words written to feel better). With dark nights after the day of hell. A light fog in the morning. With girls in light dresses on the city streets and in bikinis on the beaches. With rows for cool quas from barrels on squares and crossings...

Western Siberia is summer.

And Moscow is what, she always nods.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna