bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №118726
 22.09.2015

“Thank my grandfather for the victory, my grandmother for the apartment, my mom for the diploma, my dad for the career, my grandmother for the car.
I see you have been like a man at your forty!


[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №118725
 22.09.2015
She understood that it worked when she opened the powder, attached it with a mirror to her ear and began to wait for a spoon.

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №118724
 22.09.2015
Here, did you start promoting the MAM forum branch? O.O

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №118723
 22.09.2015
“Will we modify or create collections?”
not dispersed.

Women have no problems with this: Yes = the first option, No = the second.
This is what I say as learned by a bitter experience.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №118722
 22.09.2015
A: Hi everyone, look at the photos on the subject of color/composition, how do you like it?
B is Hi. The first two are good, the latter is unsuccessful, and on the third the object does not understand why the cheek is cut off on the left and the hand on the wrist, the joints cannot be cut.
A: What an object idiot, this is my child!! to
B: Yes... inadequate aunts in the special sanatorium, not here.
A: You are all inappropriate idiots here, I didn’t know what a fucker was here!!!! to
A: It’s okay, don’t worry. You are absolutely right, there are all inadequate idiots. There are 3324 inappropriate idiots on the forum, and only you are normal. And you have already come and bitten everyone, so we will soon be normal.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118721
 22.09.2015

A colleague in the correspondence shares impressions from September 1.

There are students with flowers in the school yard. The Governor. The Mayor. The Director.
Three girls and a boy are on stage, speaking to first-class students.
A little girl opens her mouth and is silent. It closes. It opens and closes again. He knows he has forgotten the words. And straight into the microphone says "bla". And is silent.
Further, everyone began to roast, her other took the microphone and let me read the poems. Everything is rugged. The governor was red, bitten his lips, just not to laugh in his voice. And the girl can’t go, stands, waits, poetry too.
And in front of her, journalists are straight in the mouth of ha-ha.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №118720
 22.09.2015
Any treatment of the economy in Russia usually ends with the amputation of the savings of citizens.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118719
 22.09.2015
From the series "Only in Peter": Conductor-Armenian kindly argues with first-class medical students about what the maximum degree of oxidation has sulfur in an acidic and alkaline environment...

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №118718
 22.09.2015
Dear residents of the children’s forum! All those who want to get acquainted with the everyday life and the humor of large families will find you on the main resource, you should not transfer the whole holiday of life to the IT quote.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №118717
 22.09.2015
I was told somehow about a young dad whose two-year-old son got sick with watermelon. Smelling the child with the green point quickly tired him. A brilliant idea came to mind: pour a bubble of green into a bath with water and bathe the heir entirely. The child was eventually washed, but the bath had to be thrown away.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №118716
 22.09.2015
I was on the bus today, there was absolute silence. People went in and out, quietly and silently. Even the phones did not ring. You know why? The driver slept sweetly on the seat. No one wanted to wake her up.)

[ + 30 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118715
 22.09.2015
Last week, the U.S. military to Congress about the implementation of the program: according to General Lloyd Austin, of the 54 people sent to Syria as part of the first group, only four or five continue to fight against ISIS.
Captain America, Thor, Hulk, Iron Man and the Sock Eye.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118714
 22.09.2015
XHH: The 10th Corps is such a pipet. We were released because the toilet was broken. thatble!? to
The body does not float in shit... if metaphorically, it floats from the moment of foundation, but in the literal sense – it is clean. The whole body starts on the houses because the toilet does not work. Welcome to 10.
When the priest was telling us this news, a fellow student asked him, "And if I went out in the morning, can I stay and give up the lab?"

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №118713
 22.09.2015
Dialogue under the photo of the girl:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
yyy: xxx, what is "p... and"?!)))
XXX is pregnant. Or, as they say, in a position.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
ZZZ: Did you guess?

[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118712
 22.09.2015
with japlakal description of the duties of Sisadmin Clinic with z/p 45
Medical equipment (electronics and electricity)
Determination of malfunctions, major repairs in the clinic
Development of electronic technological and test schemes for identification and repair of medical equipment failures
Medical Equipment (Technological Equipment)
Repair of pumps, compressors, specialized chairs, beds, lighting equipment, GCT, cleaners, vacuum cleaners, etc.
Ventilation Equipment
Processing of the principle circuit of e/energy supply to devices (ventilators, heaters, grills, grills)
Monitoring and correction of temperature in clinic premises
Challenge and work with specialists if necessary to perform repairs or restructuring of the air supply scheme
Water supply and sewerage
Small steering repair of cranes, water supply, seal, insulation
Work with involved sanitary technician in case of medium breakdowns
Elimination of drainage leaks, small repairs of tanks, toilets
Other works
Carpentry works (doors, cabinets, windows, cabinets)
Supervision of the condition of floors, walls, tiles, sandwiches and other host equipment in clinics
Clothing of plinths, seals, interwoven compounds
Work on additional areas

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №118711
 22.09.2015
Micheal 8 years. She asked him to take care of the younger (9 months) - while running to the store.
I go back and see a baby crawling on the carpet and an 8-year-old child sitting in his wheelchair.Covering her with a bathroom!!! - as in a tank, and hears: "Save yourself who can, the Social Democrats float!"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №118710
 22.09.2015
Interesting fact: scientists estimated that writing in the shower can save about 4,400 liters of water per year. You can’t understand, I’m just economical.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №118709
 22.09.2015
- Hear, fraerok, well you cut off the babble in an easy way - well, nobody forbids you, but have a conscience, share with the boys, kick in common, only you will be more complete!
– Minister of Finance, is this your only claim to the Minister of Finance?

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №118708
 22.09.2015
Sister of small height, thin and looks young (typically a small dog to old age puppies), her husband is a healthy bald uncle. By passport, the age difference is five years, externally - about a generation.

Recently in the children's clinic asked why the child brought not the parents, but the older sister and grandfather.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №118707
 22.09.2015
If in the west, owners of right-handed cars cannot normally eat fast food, then in Vladivostok, owners of Porsche and other cadillacs honorably exit the car before each slugbaum with a cartridge.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna