bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №25181
 23.01.2010
Wife: I meet with Natasha Tanka and Ksa on Tuesday

Wife : WOW

Tagged with: tits

Wife: breasts, legs and.... and... tanka

Husband : Iowa

[ + 119 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25180
 23.01.2010
to this

Q: How did you get acquainted with your future aunt?
The gesture...
HH: What is it?? to
Yulia’s mother is wonderful, but here is her father.
I got drunk and started to get caught.
WOW: I endured, well, I lamented: if you don’t like your son-fuck your daughter yourself...

___________________________________

Boy, what was it then?? to

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №25179
 23.01.2010
Some of us came to the school from a volgaic politician to advertise ourselves. Every heresy was shown. The director says: "Our Faculty of Informatics and Computer Engineering only trains the best specialists, masters of their business.They show two comrades, one is playing in the NFS, the other is a blue screen.

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №25178
 23.01.2010
The name of the closed wifay in the neighbors: "xyj vam a ne xaliava!!and "

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №25177
 23.01.2010
XXX: Find out the mystery. Without windows, without doors, a house full of people. What is it?
The bomb shelter.

[ + 94 - ] Comment quote №25176
 23.01.2010
I was given visiting cards.
The man who painted them placed the Roman figure 1 there, and we stopped.
And he, the fool, forgot to remove it from the layout when it was given to the print.
So now on my visit card is written "Peter I Sidorov, Head of the Department of System Development."

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №25175
 23.01.2010
The fucking. In our country to die you need to get a permit and collect a lot of certificates!!! to

[ + 155 - ] Comment quote №25174
 23.01.2010
xxxx: Down the pirates from the chat!!!!!!! 1
admin: user xxxx amused by his own wishes.

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №25173
 23.01.2010
Coffee with free wifi. I cannot connect. I call the waitress.

Do you have wifi working?
It works, but do you see the man with the note? Wifi is currently busy.

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №25172
 23.01.2010
Julia (04:11:50 21/01/2010)
Good morning Sunshine!I love you so much!! You wake up in the morning and see my message and I’m sure your mood will rise and the day will be great!!! to

TheDavidoff36 (04:12:23 21/01/2010)
I haven’t slept yet, Jay.

Julia (04:13:08 21/01/2010)
The fucking!! You killed all the romance with your insomnia!!! to

TheDavidoff36 (04:13:41 21/01/2010)
Sorry, sweet... I didn’t want to.

Julia (04:14:06 21/01/2010)
Go you go!! to

[ + 89 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25171
 23.01.2010
Have you ever wondered why girls like "Summer" so much? It is not the appearance of the actors, but the attitude that is shown to the girl. Care, passionate desire and not rushing with sex))) Phrases from the book can generally be written out in a notebook and used to hang cuddles on the ears: "I want to be next to you always to take care of you", "for me the main thing - you and your safety", "Tell me everything about yourself", "You are my personal sort of heroine"(for one this phrase can already be given)...The book can be renamed to "A hundred phrases that every woman wants to hear from a man"(excluding pure vampires).
P.S. Films: the second is shit, the first is a scene where vampires play baseball)))

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №25170
 23.01.2010
I have a friend who, when he comes to me and to someone else for a question at the door: "Who?" always answers so dullly and amusedly: "Hello, and this is here sent to the moon?... we all know this very well, long time not funny, used to it at all.
I moved, he calls in the deep night, he said I will come, move to note, long searched for my house, then come in, called, says in a minute I will be, I get up already.
I wait, he is not.
It comes in 5 minutes full of sadness and sadness...I ask what happened?
He: I confused the door, entered the apartment below, and there they ask: who? I say, “Hello, are they going to the moon here?”
And my grandmother with an angry voice: "No, you are a bitch! They’re going to go straight!"
In short, everyone was lying, the grandmother was 83 years old, and he was not the first one that night, as it turned out.
p.s I don’t have the moon anymore.)

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №25169
 23.01.2010
I heard a funny conversation on the bus.
The woman, giving up her place to an elderly man, said the following:
Do you want to sit?
And he answered his whistle.
So sit there.

And neither he nor she saw the humour in it, and I roasted all the way. and :)

[ + 72 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25168
 23.01.2010
An American delegation arrived in Samara. They are carried around the city, showing industrial facilities. passing by the factory "ELECTROCHIT" (production of sandwich panels, etc.)The guide:
-This is a factory "ELECTROCHRITE", producing sandwich...
He is still silent because the Americans have begun to roast wildly.
In short, they returned to the United States, full of confidence that the Russians have a factory that produces sandwiches.

[ + 97 - ] Comment quote №25167
 23.01.2010
We are talking about mice.

xxx: I did not believe before, for example, that a rat could swim through the sewage and get out of a closed toilet.
YYY: Why did you say this now?

[ + 100 - ] Comment quote №25166
 23.01.2010
Article on Divorce. One plaintiff wrote the reason for the divorce literally: “It prevents me from leading an immoral way of life.”

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №25165
 23.01.2010
On the Red Square near the Spasskaya gate, police patrols detained a suspicious man who wandered near the entrance to the Kremlin.
The man told them he was rushing to meet with Dmitry Medvedev to ask for the hands and hearts of the president’s daughter.
Bahtiyar, a 35-year-old gastarbayter from Dagestan, did not know that the head of state was raising his son.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №25164
 23.01.2010
The heroism of one person is always the result of the negligence of another.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №25163
 23.01.2010
Three years ago I got on a car stop in Turkey in the night to a small town, the name of which I do not remember. I stand, shudder, I can’t understand where I am and what I am. The meters at twenty are five and they push my hands hard. I’ve been accustomed if in the east a man depicts himself as a mill, 90 percent is a taxi driver. Therefore, in order not to be deceived, I cried out from a distance, "A pair of yucks," which means, "All the babble has been eaten by the evil butcher." But when I gave in to their warnings, supported by something like machines, and came closer, I realized that they were police officers.
After checking for all the documents, they asked what shit I was doing in their city. They asked, of course, in Turkish, because it was very quickly discovered that they did not know English, and in Russian they only know two words: "chka" and "sparta", which meant respectively.
“CSKA” and “Spartak”. Not only did they, with a crowd of five people, turn out to be football fans and for a long time tick some sports newspapers in my nose, they also tried to catch my car in my direction to continue my journey. When it became clear that all the cars were going wrong, the faces of the boys suddenly shrugged and one of them removed the machine machine and, knocking at me from behind them, demanded that I sit in the police car. I could not write this phrase, but it seemed, for understandable reasons, there was nowhere. They had to submit to brutal violence. We went somewhere, then came somewhere and I, with my hands back, got out of the car.
I was taken to the service, then there was such a dialogue (with surgical translation, because we did not understand each other out loud):

How do you say your name?
by Evgeny
- Oh, Eugene, here is the toilet, here is the shower, here we have the couch, now
We’ll bring you some coffee, relax, we joke.

And the whole crowd of amusements with machine guns amused. In fact, four hours after that, all who were there, and this in addition to those five also patrol, from time to time returning from the circumvention, local gendarmes, came as in the zoo, look at the Russian stopper and each brought something to eat with him. The conversation was on my fingers, the only constructive thing I remembered for all the time spent there was the phrase "Kurnikova, Oh!!!"

In the morning, I was put in the car again by other people, who handed me over on a shift, took me to the bus station, bought me breakfast, a bus ticket to the next city, said that all these benefits are given to me by the Turkish police, waved my hand and I went.

I don’t even want to think that we would be in a similar situation.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №25162
 23.01.2010
D.A. Medvedev announced as the candidate for the Oscar in nomination
Best male role of second plan.

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