bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №145823
 23.10.2017
Yes, we need to be outraged not by the quality of roads and the availability of infrastructure, but by the fact that someone has problems when moving on our roads, let’s say, roads. I am also a mother with a wheelchair, and I also carry it with one hand. Because my second hand holds a three-year-old. Releasing his hand when crossing the road is a great idea.
And everyone knows that I’ll hear the answer – I didn’t have to give birth!
That is, when planning a family, I should not focus on my circumstances, but on the quality of the roads, and the fact that I delay for five to ten seconds of especially important persons.
And these children, I want to remind, not only mine. And the planning of their father’s life again depends on these dumb and insurmountable borders.
There are also adult wheelchairs. In fact, they are locked up at home. Otherwise they interfere.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №145822
 23.10.2017
Kidder made a mouse in the work class at primary school. A beautiful soft toy.
Please show me.
Kidder (showing the mouse): “Just don’t tell me about the Kennedy murderer.”
and?
I called this mouse Oswald. And ALL members of our family (including my grandmother) have asked if I’ve named her in honour of the Kennedy murderer.
So we live. and :)
It’s hard to be a child in an intelligent family.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №145821
 23.10.2017
Mystery: There is a peach hanging, it cannot be eaten.
Answer: The unspoiled peach.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №145820
 23.10.2017
If you are tired of shit and want to be humorous, valkyms on the border, there are friends again!!!)))
The phrase of the day "unfortunately I got children reading"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №145819
 23.10.2017
A painful morning.
How clearly I was sealed.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №145818
 23.10.2017
Conversation by phone:
Do you have a far manager?
There is no one here, I am alone!! to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №145817
 23.10.2017
"A extraterrestrial superhero has moved Earth to a new, blue sun?"

The sun is blue... the earth is flat... the roof is hollow... and the face is red.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №145816
 23.10.2017
If anyone saves this fucking world, it will be only Enot.

And if he does not save it, he will at least break away.)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №145815
 23.10.2017
She appealed to the MFC for an extract from the EGRP - a paper version is needed, she wrote a statement, they the deadline for execution - up to 7 workers. On the 5th worker happened to me a free day, visited a thought - and suddenly ready? Call: - ordered the extract, check the readiness; operator - the deadline has expired? I’m not yet, 5th day... Operator – wait. 2 minutes of music, Operator - the excerpt is not ready. I - and how did you understand this without asking for the application number and fio? Operator - Well the term of execution has not ended...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №145814
 23.10.2017
XXX: What is your mother? Without a passport refused to sell energy in the store
TTT: Yes, for a couple of years there was a change that cannot be imperfect. I do not know the details.
I once didn't want to sell Mount Deu without a passport :D
hhh: " imperfect"
by Hail Hydra!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №145813
 23.10.2017
I go out of the strike ball in an electric car, I get ripped out of my hands iPhone 3GS (the case was in 2013). With a bunch of pieces and in bars, you can't catch the thief. I come home troubled, my wife from the threshold:

What are you, Ohrid?

...?

I ask you when you’re coming and you write me “I’m gone!”

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №145812
 23.10.2017
Canada, Australia and New Zealand, as well as a couple of dozens of territories are smaller. However, they were all part of the British Empire. Did you teach history at school?

I passed by here, but Canada, the Netherlands and others still recognize the Queen of Great Britain as the head of their states. Go to "Kingdom of the Commonwealth"

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №145811
 23.10.2017
When I was studying at school, I looked like a puffy puffy botanic, so should I say that the attention of classmates I was not worthy at all. Well, if I was just ignored, and often just trolled. “Let me write off” is the only situation where girls smile.



And then one day, when I was on the shift, I once again grumbled down the corridor, a cute girl from a parallel class passed by me. We didn’t know each other, but in eighth grade the whole school knew each other in the face. She walked without taking her eyes away from me, and was barely noticeably smiling, which gave her mystery and romance. At first, I didn’t understand anything, thinking that maybe I’ve got a fist, or a pimple on my nose jumped, or something else that you can stumble over.



Suddenly, at the next change, the situation repeated. I even went to the sorting room to look in the mirror, but I saw nothing unusual, except my boring face. “Strange,” I thought, “another change, again a gloomy look that accompanies me. “Your mother, and I look good,” I thought, and I also looked at her carefully and romantically. All day after school, I remembered what happened. I thought that maybe I was already unnoticedly grown up and stunned, or that maybe not for everyone I look like a botanist, or maybe she likes people like me. Per she has seen my romantic nature, subtle mental organization and other invisible simple mortal things that are so many in me that I just have nowhere to go.



I have to do something, I have to act. All the options I’ve come up with were so good that each ended in a turbulent relationship, walking the pen, kissing under the moon, and of course sex. But as a result, I chose one in which I just kept looking at her dark and in love until she approached me by herself and acknowledged her feelings. He loves it, let him prove it. The first one I approached was not Comilfo. Since I'm such a macho that girls fall in love with taboo - let it go!



The next day, right from the morning, I met her again at school. And I saw again how she looked at me dark and in love, slightly smiling at the corners of her lips. Following my plan yesterday, I began to look at her as closely and romantically as possible, while releasing all my pheromones into the surrounding atmosphere. Well, to provoke overflow of feelings with subsequent recognition in them. So, looking in the eyes, we passed by each other, and I started waiting for the next change to repeat it.



On the next shift, I specifically started crawling through the school corridors in search of her. Here is she! Going to meet me. I prepared my eyes. Well to watch. Pheromones, and that’s all. And here she comes closer, I give myself an internal command to “See” and... nothing. She passed by, just staring at me for a short while, completely uninterested. by VOCEFAK? ? to ? to What happened? Maybe not seen? Looking forward to the next change, here it is! Eyes, pheromones, iii... – nothing. passed by again. What is that, right? Are feromons not fresh?



I repeated the experiment several times over the course of the day. Sometimes he even ran down the stairs from the other side to meet her twice for one shift. and nothing. and no. by Che. Go to go. Has love passed? Can we do so? Well, be a human being, come and explain why we can’t be together anymore. Sorry at the end! But she did not come. She didn’t even look at me anymore. I ceased to exist for her.



When I got home, I was lying on my bed all day, looking up the ceiling. I wonder what women are cruel.



I learned the story the next day. The classmate told him that he wants to mess with one girl from a parallel class, and familiar girls have even expressed his sympathy to her. And since the surnames of our classmates differed only in the end (well, Petrov and Petrovko), I immediately realized that at some point the connection failed. And all the romance was not meant for me. Just the girl, her mother, thought it was me! And I am him! It is in principle (! ) There was a man to build his eyes.



They started dating ( not long), and I was all thinking about how hard it was to survive female betrayal.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №145810
 23.10.2017
I was looking for a job in 2012. After reading motivating websites on this topic, I came to interview. In the column "Wage" I indicated 1 000 000 r. I couldn’t imagine how it would go next! When the resume was read by a girl from the administration, she asked if I was serious about it. I applauded approvingly. She stood away for a moment and then said to move on.

At that moment, I thought, like “Nihua to myself!” “”

He also asked if I was serious.

With the face of a man who is accustomed to getting what he wants, I convincingly left, giving him the understanding that he has no possibility to refuse me.

Zam laughed before answering, and looked a bit abandoned. He shrugged his face and said,

“Do not come anymore.”

I silently turned and left.

Do not read motivational texts.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №145809
 23.10.2017
A free country is not a country that makes it easy to get rid of, but a country that makes it possible to stay in it.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №145808
 23.10.2017
is listened.
"Oh girls, the cat is sick, does not eat, has lost weight, the veterinarian said what he wanted, but to feed, or will die. I eat fish, meat and other foods. I sit with the cat and the dishes, revu. In the evening, a husband came from work, listened, called a fool and poured a valerian cat. He came down and let me eat. Well, why is it, because it is my cat, it is I understand and love him?"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №145807
 23.10.2017
Citizens will bear the costs of medical care, and the authorities will bear the revenue from the sale of oil. Share it, this is great!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №145806
 23.10.2017
The Career

Yes, they’re gone, and you didn’t know? Wait for 20 years.
And people behind them, too. Therefore, there is such a sign - "Care for hair". After and after.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №145805
 23.10.2017
I have a close acquaintance. The size of a man. As a lieutenant, he was sent to practice. He went for a couple or three days, and left his beloved young wife at home. Take the training and cancel it.
He came home late at night, and there was a wife with a lover. He didn’t bother, went to the kitchen and put a teaspoon. and began to wait. He was the first to go into the kitchen, I don’t remember.
But his wife is now another)))
– Is it spotted?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №145804
 23.10.2017
News: GIBDD cameras will record the departure from the stop line.

Comment: We would apply immediately instead of pricing.
Instead of the stop line – 800...800...800...800...
It is 1500...1500...1500...
Double continuous - deprivation... exemption... exemption

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