I go out for lunch from work, fit the typical (outside) Gypsies - golden teeth, curly, costume with glitters. Get out before this from a nearby car - an old merce, polished to shine.

Sorry to bother, are you local?

I : Yes.

He: I am from Ukraine, from Donbass. Buy a set, I will give it cheaply, for a thousand all.

I: No, thank you

I go.

In the evening I sit in the car at the parking lot, too, not far from work.

He is suitable.

Sorry to bother, are you local?

I: No, I am from Ukraine, from Donbass.



I haven’t seen such a look for a long time ?

I went to the barber a day ago and when the girl started cutting my neck, she suddenly wept and said, "How much hair you have on your neck."

I got a little uncomfortable, because the hairy neck, well...it’s strenuous. I decided to turn her attention to something else and said, “You haven’t seen my ass yet.”

The girl walked away and looked at me seriously. Probably the joke did not fit her or caused some disgust. Seconds later, she said again:

Did you take the money with you? I’m not going to cut my ass for five hundred.

I live in Germany. I was taken with my colleagues yesterday for work to a large (more than 30,000 seats) football stadium in a neighboring town, and the head of the local IT department arranged for us a tour of the territory. It was quite interesting; I had no idea how technically complex a modern stadium was. In the process, we were shown a room locked in three locks with a fax machine – and told a surreal story.



The stadium in matches must comply with the general rules established by the sports administration. According to its requirements, immediately before the match, the representatives of the competing teams must sign a protocol that all the players are in place, the teams are ready for the game, there are no problems and so on. The protocol, according to the same requirements, is sent to the administration exclusively by fax. If the fax is not sent for any reason, the match cannot start. You have full tribunes of fans. Therefore, on the stadium, equipped with state-of-the-art technology, where wireless communication and IP-telephony are everywhere, there is an ancient fax requested from an independent power source, and a direct copper pair from the telephone station is laid to it. At the other end of the building is another one, for the case.



On my question “why not scan the protocol and download the e-mail” I was explained that the sports administration is extremely conservative and does not like to change the rules established in the past century.

After the four-day week, it remains only to offer a three-week month.

I served in the Sunny Mikop. Under my command served soldiers and sergeants from all corners of our vast homeland, including many soldiers from the mountain republics. When they arrived in part, they were distinguished by excessive deafness and stubbornness. There were attempts and money from the rest to squeeze and try to send young flyers.

Naturally, they were periodically sent to the dispute in Gukovo of the Rostov region, but all this did not take effect, until then they began to send a letter to their mountainous homeland about each of their cattle, with the following content:

Dear head of the settlement, in our part serves the son of your village/aula and he behaves in a worthless way: he defiles, does not listen to the elders of the rank and violates the rules of military statutes, etc.

It is worth telling that after such letters, a delegation from this hall came to us in part, called a fighter to the CPC and there he was pissed with sticks all, starting with the oldest family member, including the head of the settlement.

After several occasions, the mountaineers walked quietly and calmly. Many at the same time turned out to be sergeants and castle squadrons, and their branches and squadrons were among the best in the brigade in terms of performance.

Our preacher in the universe once said:
Do you know what it looks like? You come to the store for a shirt, give 200 thousand, and eventually leave the shirt and only take a check. The same goes for your education.

The words of relatives.

One day, they missed a vase. After a long search, the parents came to the conclusion that her little son was somewhere.

He went to his son and asked if he had done anything with the vase. The son denied everything. Then I decided to go to the trick.

"Sasha, if you admit what you did with the vase, I will give you 3 rubles," said the mother (the case was in the USSR, and 3 rubles at the time, as far as I understand, was a considerable amount for the child).

“I broke the vase,” Sasha confessed.

Where are you doing the pieces?

"I took the sink and the wreath, gathered them and threw them out so that you and Daddy would not know.

The mother praised the son for the honest confession and handed the promised 3 rubles.

A few days later, a neighbor brought the vase. She borrowed it for something, and her mother simply forgot about it.