bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №124749
 23.02.2016
I go with my husband in the car. Suddenly, he almost throws the wheel up into the window.
See what a beautiful xxx! I want one!
XXX there is a small excavator. The excavator is crazy.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №124748
 23.02.2016
I translate comments in the old code from Russian to English. I am sorry to translate this:

If nothing is found in the old programs, we check.
Comrades are on the right path.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №124747
 23.02.2016
Dialogue about the lack of hot water with the management company:
Why do we have no hot water?
At night, the temperature dropped to -2 and the pipe froze. corrected within a week.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №124746
 23.02.2016
by 23 February
Dobby is free.
It smells good!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №124745
 23.02.2016
I received a letter from our council that if I do not rage my pet, I will be fined.
Our cat is vaccinated every year like a clock.
She called the council with the question of whom to vaccinate: a cat or rabbits.
They answered: not need. I asked who was still at home.
I said, children and husband.
My husband refused to vaccinate against rabies, although I suggested.
There was such an opportunity!

by Marinalevy

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №124744
 23.02.2016
One called the horse Zylant, the other watched the beast in the fields and reduced to "ZIL" the variants with Chugunkon, Wolf and Weskon.
Nar009: Isn’t this the guys for whom GameMyr is a fun type Slavic name for a boy?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №124743
 23.02.2016
As the wife of a man who has everything, she polarized him a set of two scraps. I only regret one thing: I should have taken at least four. Such a useful thing in the farm turned out!

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №124742
 23.02.2016
An unusual story of the terrible nonsense of the twentieth century, where it is told about the fashion on radioactivity and all kinds of consumer things with radiation.

The comments:
Nexys
How cute. In 100 years, we will also be told the same about Wifi and contemporary cosmetics.

by igmar2006
One thing reassures me – I will not be there in 100 years... I will take Wi-Fi with me to the grave, so if anyone survives, take a message through Telegram.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №124741
 23.02.2016
You know, in the 90s there was a very popular pop group NA-NA. In the people they were called Nanians!
222: And Nanists, you think, would sound better? and (

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №124740
 23.02.2016
As a child, I insulted mosquitoes with the word anaphylaxis platy. (These are mosquitoes that carry malaria)

They are anophiles! You see, they insulted mosquitoes.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №124739
 23.02.2016
When the uncles of the 50s are sitting around you and cheerfully sing student songs under the guitar, and you sit like that and feel like a dinosaur at the age of 37. A wonderful feeling!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №124738
 23.02.2016
Article by Lenin:

XXX: I have a full assembly. I will read on vacation. But he is not Donetsk.

YYY: I am sorry. I have to pay tribute to Elias. Even for the sake of a full gathering, he does not write angry letters to Roskomnadzor with demands to ban torrents.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №124737
 23.02.2016
Morning Dialogue in Resuscitation:
Brother: Sergeevna, you have taken your clothes, give me a better assailant costume!
Sister: So I knew you were not a Jedi, but the generation of evil!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №124736
 23.02.2016
The weekend, we watch the family "Martian". The epic moment with the hurricane, when all the effort is in vain, I hear the son next door begins to whisper and wipe away tears:
You are what?
The card is sorry.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №124735
 23.02.2016
The importance of Russian tourism:
andquot;
Egerša from Baikal said: “He comes here alone!” Someone is a foreigner! On the shore of the Baikal walked, walked, came and showed gestures - drink, say, I want! He had little to drink!

xxx: People who are accustomed to comfort can just fantastically hinder."

There are no parasites in fresh water.
The fresh water is crystal clear. You can drink it raw and not be surprised by the frequency of approaches to the toilet afterwards!
Okay, let’s say he decided to drink from the Baikal.
1) How to get water? Do you always have a cup or bottle with you?
2) water on the shore and in the upper layer of water, even on the Baikal is not the cleanest, must be taken away and picked up where deeper. To go into the water? Taking a boat to sail? What if the winter - to climb into the crossing or just lay out of it?
3) raw water from a freshwater reservoir (not from an artesian well or from deep layers) should be boiled. Does a tourist have to fire? As long as he has something to boil that water.
And if he didn't stay in the tent with a night, but just came for a day's walk, what about him?

Egersha may have been used to living in the circumstances of the campaign all her life, and she has seen nothing except Baikal, but it is necessary to remember that not all of them are such narrow specialists!

And these people complain that no one goes to them! Yes, damn, maybe you would go, but you and drink without a quest won't get out, and the whole internet will be celebrated!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №124734
 23.02.2016
On the invisible hand of the market, the thief’s spikes are clearly distinguished.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №124733
 23.02.2016
In the morning, the son, watching the picture as I cover my hair with a hair lacquer, says:
“Mommy, you translate dichlophos in vain, your cockroaches are immortal!
And he is right.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №124732
 23.02.2016
I gave my parents my old cell phones. Recently, they gave me their old device for measuring pressure.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №124731
 23.02.2016
If you need to kill for your survival, kill as quickly and painlessly as possible. If you, of course, relate to civilized people, not to the extinct Neanderthals.
– is
The Neanderthals were unlikely to argue about the quick killing of the wild with a stone on the head. Unlike civilized people who invented torture, masochistic sex and weapons of mass destruction.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №124730
 23.02.2016
There are job offerers of the type:
- Oh, hello, you have such a beautiful resume, but here we have a good job, and you don't need to do anything, a couple of hours in the inette will sit and wild thousands of people, those. 8-Tritutushchitritata by Shoira Gamidovna.

I was tired and came up with the form of the answer:
Hi to!
What does your company do?
Real address or city phone number?
Type of activity? Legal and organizational form?
Which job is vacant?
What is the size of the salary and its form (white/black)?In what percentage?
What social and other payments will be provided to me (medical insurance, vacation, payment of sick leave, cellular compensation, GSM and vehicle depreciation)?
Why did you decide to turn to me?

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