Our retiree has just a fairy life: he found himself with his old lady at the broken cork.

A little slower, Frost

A small introduction.

As long as I remember, I spent every summer in the village, helping my grandmother manage the farm. The Internet in those distant times was not yet invented, so free time spent either fishing, or in the forest, or in the company of peers.

Our diversion-intelligence team was engaged... Easier to say, than we were just not engaged, for which we periodically scratched fresh berry flour. But even the punishment could not extinguish the pioneering lights that splashed in children’s asses. Funny and worryless.

In 1983, after I graduated from the fourth grade, when I was on the threshold of eleven years, my friends offered to earn a little in the council house on field work. It was called “going out.”

From the morning, the brigadier (Victor) was engaged in the distribution of the front of work among adults, and then approached us. If there was something, then accompanied by the elderly, our team went to perform the task.The first two days they broke the peas, pulling out the feed, which stood out among the white carpet of the food with purple blades, and then picked up the slices for the spades and the villas.

Driver of Kobe

On the fifth day, after making sure that your submissive servant takes the matter seriously, the brigadier solemnly announced the promotion: I was entrusted to carry bags of commodities from the warehouse to the farm.
Can you handle a horse? Victor has clarified.
When I looked in my eyes, I lied.

The fact that my experience was limited to a child horse catwalk decided not to spread. Everything will be fine, I will do it.
With these thoughts, I reached the farm. There was already waiting for the thoughtful red cabbage Frosia, who with universal pofigism observed a pair of flies gathering on the dungeon in the posture of a confused astronaut.
- She is calm, don't be afraid, - encouraged the zoo technician (Sergei), - but don't chase.

Thank you for the insight, and I thought right away from place to place to fly to the warehouse with a whistle and whistle. Probably this was very eloquently witnessed by my frightened eyes and shaking hands.
“You know,” Sergey breathed, “it’s okay, little, look.

The next twenty minutes were devoted to the basics: how to drive a horse, how to wear a rope, and remarks about the fact that “if you worship, I will tell the brigadier.”
- And now ride, - the zoo technician gently sneezed and smoked.
But I whispered.

This is yes, the goat broke away from meditation and relentlessly moved toward the warehouse! To understand the feelings that upset me at the time, you have to be a little boy who for the first time in his life driven a real live horse.
A mile to the warehouse and back we arrived in about half an hour.

- Don't be afraid, - encouraged Sergei, - hasten her a little, or the babies have already eaten where the combined food.
If you get a little faster, won’t you get tired? I went to the cowboy.
“Pofigu,” Frosia thoughtfully whispered, looking at how the same flies are coupled already in the posture of the godmol.
But then no.

The cockroach flegmatically moved into some kind of slow rise.
“But,” I shouted after the fifth flight.
— But yes, — Frosia according to even faster.
“Young man,” the zoo technician smiled after four hours, “will you go home for lunch?”
Oh yeah, I cried out.
- As long as you get there, you will have to go back, drive, just don't forget to drink, - and, glimpsing, Sergey left for his business.

This is yes! Travelling through the whole village. For the city boy, however, this was not just a reason for pride, it was a moment of highest bliss. I was allowed! Still not believing my luck, I quickly set the route to follow. They were two.

The first - on the so-called Old Street, the second - on the New Street, which appeared in the post-war years. It was good because it ended up a hill of sixty meters high. Along it were also a council, a school, a place to give out dresses for work, a bathroom and a store. The number of spectators will be maximum.

Decided, we go for a new one. The route was like this – kilometers two on the street, we drive to the hill, then, taking the left, we descend, we drive through the crossroads of rural streets. Then, after two hundred meters, on the rather busy road Baranovic - Silence, turn to the right, and we are home.

“But I went,” I cried loudly, shuffling the chiefs.
I remembered that day for a lifetime. I was just scattered by pride, even more! by Sam! and one! Everyone seemed to think:
“This is a good guy, so small, and already riding a horse.
Frosty, don’t we go fast?
“Pofigu,” cried the cockroach, not stopping meditation.
I wonder, I thought, could anything get her out of that state at all?

Be afraid of your thoughts, for they are material. I do not remember who of the ancients spotted this, and there was no time for memories, because the horse suddenly set out to take off.
How is? and simply. Thirty meters to the hill, a motorcycle struck us with a loud thunder. And a miracle happened: Frosia shaken, hit his tail...
“Hana,” a bright lightning flashed the thought.
We have gone! Loudly shooting the first step, the goat ran into the gallop.

Being in a cloud of edible exhaust gases, I weakened the heads for a few seconds, trying to wipe out the tearful eyes. This was enough for Frosia, after eating a snack of surprise, to encounter a bright future, which ended in a break if it was not turned back in time.
Throwing up!
They are ha. by Pofig.
There is no man around! Lunch, where did they go? The witnesses were only three dogs who looked at me with obvious respect.
Throwing up!

We carried out so that the warm air blown out the sores that appeared out of our nose. In a different situation, I would be ashamed, but not now: there was a little more than twenty meters left to the abyss.
Throwing up!
When I realized that it would not be possible to stop the cowboy, I pulled the left leader on me:
Turn around!
They are ha! The Pope!
Shoot the second stage, let’s break!
There is. The third at the same time!

How I didn’t drown, I don’t understand. What was fed Frossa forever remained a mystery, but by the strength and power of the exhaust could be assumed.
Oh my mom!
Do you know what a village rodeo is? This is when the horse, gased like a carrier rocket, made a sharp turn. The wagon in accordance with the laws of physics began to collapse side by side, I was holding on board with all my strength and waited for it, forgive me, I stumbled on the asphalt with my already clean (thanks to the galop) nose. But passed through.

As yet passed! Shooting with such a sound that for a second I stunned even the rumbling chariot, I managed, without allowing the chiefs, to cross my eyelids.
By the way, the described procedure can safely be recommended as an additional stimulant for patients with gastrointestinal tract. I guarantee, it will go through!
- We returned, a little slower, Frosia, a little slower!
They are ha. The Pope!

With what speed our crew, composed of two desperately gased subjects, took off the mountain, I cannot judge. To be honest, it wasn’t before.
Throwing up!
I don't know what this cattle imagined, but it went so that the wind whispered in my ears. I didn’t even notice the first cross. I was surprised by the big neighbor. I still remember his sloppy cheek.
Throwing up!
There were 100 meters left to the next crossing. If this scourge does not stop, we will be beaten down like cream.
Seventy meters. The chiefs are stretched to the limit, but Froze, traditionally, pops up.
Throwing up!
Fifty meters.
Throwing up!

In critical moments a person wakes up such abilities, which in normal life he does not even guess. I never thought I could scream:
WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW!!!! to
Yes, so that somewhere in the village a bunch of crows flew frightened, pears were poured from the surrounding apples, and two trucks stopped at the crossroads. But most importantly, Frosia hit the brakes sharply. More than 10 meters...
I missed:
I fell down on my back in fatigue.
- Pofigu, - the goat whirkled relentlessly and began to look at the flies with interest, which were on the dungeon (again!) He was in a position of jumping pressure.

The hands, rubbed by the chiefs, burned, in the ears ringed, in the nose ticked, and in the stomach, forgive me, loudly bursting promising processes.
Little boy, are you okay? The drivers of both cars were already there.
One fixed something in the blur, the other looked me in the face with anxiety:
What happened?
I was scared, and the motorcycle was scared.

Generally speaking, I brought Frosa home under the arms and accompanied by two trucks.
“Look, little girl, don’t fly like that anymore,” the drivers, coming out of the cabins, carefully grabbed my swollen arm and, waving for goodbye, quickly fled behind the crossroads.
Thank you guys for your help.

The cheerful and cold cabbage needed to get drunk, and I needed to be seated in a meditation booth. Therefore, for the next half hour the horse filled his thirst with small throats, and I knew the higher Zen and enlightenment.
About the races I decided not to tell anyone why to upset the people. Everything ends well, doesn’t it?

As it turned out, Frosia was very afraid of cars and sharp sounds. But now, having an invaluable experience, I was calm. The main thing is not to miss the preparation for the launch.
Therefore, it was only necessary to hit the tail, as a second before the horse's mouth was a piece of bread:
Stay quietly, calmly and calmly. Oh, look, again the flies, in the new posture of the hardened drill.

So the next day, Frosey and I were rushing home for lunch. Right now, on the Old Street, far from sin. And then the company began to harvest the seed, and it wasn’t until the sovhose.

In those six days I earned ten rubles forty copies. My first salary at the time was an unprecedented wealth for an eleven-year-old boy. I regret only one thing – I did not keep that calculation sheet, it was small, stupid.

Author: Andrey Avdey

Putin: “There are no toilets in schools, but we spend 100 Mbps of internet there.”
The kids will be fucked in the comments.